Oprah partner kim

Weekly Round-Up: June 8th - June 14th

2020.06.14 16:47 llaverna Weekly Round-Up: June 8th - June 14th

Weekly Round-Up: June 8th - June 14th

Previous thread: June 1st - June 7th

This round-up is for everything that happened in the /bangtan realm within the past week, compiled for your convenience! If you have feedback, please leave a comment or send me a PM.
The latest weekly round-up can be found in the sidebar of the subreddit. The link to the archive of past round-up posts can always be found in the wiki index.

BTS Festa 2020

200608 [CHOREOGRAPHY] BTS (방탄소년단) 2018 MAMA Performance Practice (Formation Check ver.) #2020BTSFESTA Thread
200609 BTS 7TH ANNIVERSARY FAMILY PORTRAIT SPECIAL Thread
200609 [2020 FESTA] BTS (방탄소년단) Answer : BTS 3 UNITS 'Respect' Song by RM & SUGA Thread
200609 [2020 FESTA] BTS (방탄소년단) Answer : BTS 3 UNITS 'Jamais Vu' Song by Jin & j-hope & Jungkook Thread
200609 [2020 FESTA] BTS (방탄소년단) Answer : BTS 3 UNITS 'Friends' Song by Jimin & V Thread
200610 [2020 BTS FESTA] 2020 BTS Profile 2 Thread
200611 [2020 FESTA] BTS (방탄소년단) ‘MAP OF THE SONG : 7’ #2020BTSFESTA Thread
200612 We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal MV Thread
200613 [‪2020 FESTA] Bangtan Birthday Party (방탄생파) Thread
200613 [2020 BTS FESTA] CLOSING CEREMONY Thread

Megathreads

200607 BTS @ You Tube Originals: 'Dear Class of 2020'
200614 BANGBANGCON: The Live

News & Information

200607 BTS ARMY reaches $1 million goal in #MatchAMillion donation campaign for BLM
200609 Weverse official: A new way to enjoy BTS MVs.You can now connect your light stick on Weverse and watch BTS MVs like MIC DROP and more!
200611 BTS' new single 'Stay Gold' to be released on June 19 @ 18:00 KST
200611 Weverse official: After MIC DROP MV, what is the next #BTS MV for you to watch with your ARMY BOMB? Find out on #Weverse!
200611 BTS Japan Official: International release of 4th Japanese Album "Map of the Soul:7 ~The Journey~"
200612 Twitter will launch 9 emojis on Saturday in celebration of BTS' 7th anniversary for the remainder of June
200612 Updates on the Postponed 'BTS 4th Album Release Event in Seoul'
200613 NTV Sukkiri: BTS will have an interview with Sukkiri (Japanese breakfast television show) on June 16 at 9:30AM JST/KST

Merchandise news

200611 #BANGBANGCON_TheLive Official Merch for Pre-order is now on Weply
200611 BTS Memories 2019 is under review

Expired news

200612 Bangbancon Website is Live, Log In to Pick Your Username!
200613 Bangbangcon FAQ: Syncing ARMY Bomb, Virtual Lightstick Function, Fanwall, etc
200613 BANG BANG CON THE LIVE Ticket Sale Closing Time Adjustment Notice

Official Media

Type Date Title Thread
Teaser 200610 [2020 FESTA] BTS (방탄소년단) ‘방탄생파’ Teaser #2020BTSFESTA Thread
Teaser 200613 『MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 ~ THE JOURNEY ~』 (RM Concept Photo) Thread
Teaser 200614 "Map of the Soul: 7 ~The Journey~" SUGA Teaser Photo Thread
V Live 200611 J-Hope Vlive Thread
V Live 200613 SUGA Vlive: KKUL FM 06.13 Thread
YT Live 200609 V Youtube live Thread
Other 200608 Dear Class of 2020: BTS Commencement Speech Thread
Other 200608 Learn! KOREAN with BTS [EP.14] I Eat Food Thread

Official SNS

Date SNS Title Thread
200608 Twitter j-hope Thread
200608 Twitter Bangtan at Dear Class of 2020 Thread
200607 Weverse Compilation
200609 Weverse Namjoon Thread
200609 Weverse Compilation
200610 Instagram BANG BANG CON The Live Thread
200610 Twitter 2020 BTS Music Elections Thread
200610 Twitter SUGA Thread
200610 Weverse Taehyung Thread
200610 Weverse Compilation
200611 Instagram Bangtan IG Story Thread
200612 Instagram BTS Official Instagram Story Update Thread
200613 Twitter Seokjin Thread
200613 Twitter Namjoon Thread
200613 Weverse Namjoon Thread
200613 Twitter j-hope Thread
200613 Weverse j-hope Thread
200613 Weverse Compilation
200613 Instagram BTS Official Instagram Story Updates Thread
200613 Twitter Bangtan Thread
200614 Twitter Seokjin Thread
200614 Twitter Namjoon Thread
200614 Twitter Today's Bangtan Thread
200614 Weverse Jungkook Thread
200614 Instagram BTS Instagram Story Thread
200614 Twitter SUGA Thread
200614 Weverse SUGA Thread
200614 Twitter j-hope Thread

CF & Partnerships

200609 Brave partners with Korean pop group BTS on limited-edition browser release
200613 Lotte Duty Free updates cover with new BTS group photo

Articles

Date Publisher Article Thread
200606 Vulture ARMY, Assemble Your Wallets: BTS Donates $1 Million to Black Lives Matter Thread
200608 Billboard Kiswe Discusses Partnership With Big Hit Entertainment Ahead of BTS' 'Bang Bang Con: The Live' Thread
200609 InkiStyle All The Cool Outfits BTS Wore During The ‘Dear Class Of 2020’ Performance Thread
200609 Forbes BTS’s Suga Is Currently Charting Hits On The World Songs Chart Under Three Names Thread
200610 K-media S.Korea Cultural Minister Park Yang Woo quoted by K-media as mentioning Daechwita Thread
200610 Billboard The 50 Best Albums of 2020 (So Far): Staff Picks. (MOTS7 mentioned) Thread
200610 Jezebel BTS Revolutionizes the Boy Band Documentary Format Thread
200610 Forbes BTS’s RM Is In Rare Company Thanks To His Latest Hit On The Sales Chart Thread
200611 Soompi Exclusive: MAX On What To Expect In His New Album, Collab With BTS’ Suga, Friendship With DAY6’s Jae, And More Thread
200611 British Vogue How BTS Became The Undisputed Kings Of K-Pop Thread
200611 The Ringer The BTS ARMY and the Transformative Power of Fandom as Activism Thread
200612 Forbes BTS’s Suga Was A Pioneer On The Rap Albums Chart Last Week Thread
200612 Washington Post Surprised at seeing K-pop fans stand up for Black Lives Matter? You shouldn’t be. Thread
200612 The Oprah Magazine 13 Essential BTS Songs You'll Want to Play on Repeat Thread
200613 Variety YouTube Says ‘Dear Class of 2020’ Special With Obamas, BTS, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga & More Breaks Viewing Record Thread

SNS Mentions

NOTE: Entries with 💜 have new content directly involving BTS
Date 💜 Title Thread
200608 Tiger JK joins #MatchAMillion Thread
200608 John Cena: Very happy to join #BTSARMY in efforts to match @BTS_twt tremendous donation #ARMYMatch1M Thread
200608 Production Designer Bona Kim posts behind the scenes pictures of Daechwita MV set Thread
200609 James Corden: On tonight’s @latelateshow ... a little never before seen clip to thank the BTS Army! Tonight @CBS 12.30 Thread
200608 Harry Shum Jr from Glee tweeted "BTS FTW" Thread
200608 MAX's tweet for Suga, BTS, and Army Thread
200610 Cardi B Retweeted A Clip of Namjoon Rapping to her verse from 'Fitness' Thread
200612 [Unavailable] studiopivote We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal MV character designs Thread
200613 💜 National Museum of Korea Thread
200613 Son Sung Deuk's Congratulatory Message to BTS Thread
200613 Steve Aoki Thread
200613 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon celebrating #7YearswithBTS Thread
200614 💜 Artist Thibaud Herem posted about drawing one of RM's bonsai trees Thread
200614 Spotify Korea: Thank you BTS, y’all really know how to throw a birthday party 💜Relive the setlist on This Is BTS right here Thread

Other media

NOTE: Entries with 💜 have new content directly involving BTS
Type 💜 Date Title Thread
Cover 200608 Road to Kingdom [Dance Practice] VERIVERY x TOO - ON Thread
Cover 200609 Figure Skater Roman Sadovsky performs dance cover of “ON” Thread
Cover 200611 TXT singing RUN on After School Club Noraebang Thread
Video 200608 KPDB Ep. #58 Highlight: MAX on "Burn It" Collab with Agust D (Suga) Thread
Video 💜 200609 The Late Late Show with James Corden on Twitter - BTS Carpool Karaoke Bonus Clip Thread
Video 200609 BTS Briefly Shown on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (6:05) Thread
Video 200611 Anthony Fantano gives his opinion on D-2 by Agust D Thread
Video 200611 [Bangtanism] 2 HipHop Artists/Producers Discussing BTS' Music Thread
Video 200611 BTS Animation- Ugh! By MarianneDraws Thread
Video 💜 200612 Fiji Love Music: BTS greeting Thread
Video 💜 200613 UNRELEASED: Radio Disney BTS' 2017 Interview Thread
Other 💜 200610 "This is BTS" Spotify Playlist got updated with member's messages for FESTA Thread
Other 200612 Songwriter, Candace Sosa, Talks Working in BTS music(Love Maze & Euphoria) with BRISxLIFE & Dezzy March in new podcast Brizzy Talk Thread
Other 200612 Apple Music: BTS at 7 playlist Thread
Other 200614 Netflix Kdrama Mystic Pop-up Bar ep. 7 makes an allusion to BTS that praises them

Milestones

Type Date Thread
Charts/Sales 200609 Suga Of BTS Is The First Solo Korean Musician To Chart More Than One Album On The Sales Ranking
Charts/Sales 200611 BTS’s 'We Are Bulletproof: TheEternal' Has Now Sold Over 100,000 Units in the US
Charts/Sales 200612 BTS's 'MAP OF THE SOUL: 7' Has Now Sold Over 800,000 Total Units in the US
Views 200608 "Black Swan" has now surpassed 100 million views on YouTube

BT21

200611 [With BTS] BT21 UNIVERSE 3 EP.05 - Trials and Tribulations Thread
200613 We belong together forever! 💞 Thread

Misc

200608 BTS for Peloton riders
200609 Korean lesson with Trivia: Love lyrics
200612 Korean lesson based on "So What" lyrics
200612 Today is the 7th Anniversary of No More Dream!!!
200613 [Throwback] Seven years ago today, BTS debuted with "2 Cool 4 Skool"

Subreddit

Rolling /bangtan Awards 2020 nomination form

Community posts

Top Discussion Posts

  1. [+164] what bts mystery do you want solved?
  2. [+129] To the new armys here, do you listen to BTS’ older songs?
  3. [+108] How would you feel if a BTS member announced he was getting married?
  4. [+71] Did you have any embarrassing assumptions about BTS when you started first joined ARMY?
  5. [+58] How many times has your bias changed since you first stanned BTS?

Weekly threads

Fanart

Here are past week's top 5 fanart posts from our sister subreddit, /heungtan!
Submitter Thread
catsunstars SOPE Karaoke 🎶
ari78 I made a BTS ring from scratch
taebear_2013 I painted jin
Brinchestiel Bangtan Colour Association Series: Kim Namjoon
disjuruu First time drawing The Boys, V got me in my feels 🌸
submitted by llaverna to bangtan [link] [comments]


2020.03.24 16:05 Texas1971 Carollaisms

Haven’t updated in awhile, but here’s some “light reading” for everyone while we’re locked in. These just crack me up. Enjoy, stay safe and wash up. 🧼 GETITON

Band Names/Rap Stars

Mitt Romney and the One Percenters (ACS)
ManAyz - Rap star (LL)
D'Bagz - Rap star (LL)
Maxi Pad - An all-girl band that knows how to rock (LL)
Dick Tingle - One of the best blues men in the business (Show?)
Lynette and the Lackeys (ACS)
Straw Hat and the Bowties - Jerry Springer's dixieland band who plays at the Knott's Berry Farm Good Time Theater (ACS)
Gut Fluffer (ACS)
Johnny Beaumont and The Legionnaires - All wear matching powder blue tuxedoes (ACS)
Automatic Vaginismus – Great band name (LL)
Dissuade/D’ Suede - Rappeproducer of Kanye/one of Kim's ex beaus (ACS)
Starchy Deuce - Band that should be produced by D' Suede (ACS)
Narthex - (ACS)
Epileptic Declawed Hamster - That is a helluva punk band right there (ACS)
Loretta Lynch - Country singer who sang "Stand By Your Man" (ACS)
The Areolas - Covered an Eagles song in the ‘90s (ACS)
Fleece and Flannel - One of the best lesbian acoustic duos you will ever see (ACS)
3 Chainz - Rap star (ACS)
Blues Squatter - Adam's dad’s band name (ACS)
Tampon Kayak - One of Seattle's greatest, but least heard of indie bands (ACS)
Jizz Grenade (LL)
Dryer Fire - Hot indie band name (ACS)
Iranian Revolutionary Guard - Prince's backup band (ACS)
Rape Kit - Name of Adam's band from high school (ACS)
Nog Bong - A band Adam was in in high school (ACS)
Bum Blazer – Adam’s band in high school (ACS)
White Trash Kimchi - Another good band name (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
White Noise - Adam's rap name (ADS)
Promethazine - Lil Wayne's sister (ADS)
Light Rail - Great Rap name (ADS)
Danny In The Joint - Good indie band name (ACS)
Anal Cleft - One of the worst reggae singers to leave Jamaica (ACS)
Anal Cleft and the Taints - Great reggae group (ACS)
MEL-ROL - One of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
D'bris - Great Rap name (ACS)
Cisgender - A militant female rapper....for the ladies (ACS)
Krav Maga (1) - Country singing Jew (ACS)
Lynette and Paulette - Sounds like a singing duo from the 60's (RD)
Nuts In The Sink - Name of Ray’s new band (Ray) (AOTH)
SubDude - Pete Holmes' rap name (ACS)
Ray And The Enemas - Blues singer and his backup band (ADS)
Yakov Crutchfield - He has a show in Branson (ADS)
Mac 18 - Adam’s favorite rapper (RD)
Tremble Lean – Adam’s rap name (ACBSL)
Sticker Back – Worst band out of Canada ever (ACS)
Pennywise and Pound Foolish - A band from the ‘90's (RD)
Strawberry Shortcake's Neti Pot - Great band name (Twitter)
Puffy Elon Musk - Worst rapper ever (ACS)
Pantera Club at Laguna Seca (Twitter)
Savage Body Attack - New wave romantic band Ace was in when he was 19 (FBL)
Jumping Jazzy Jews - Jeff Goldblum's jazz band (ACS)
Snore Cherry - Great band name (ACS)
Pat Benatard - Pat Benatar cover band (ACS)
Rancid Nuts - Good band name (ACS)
Gary And The Knotholes - Good band name (AOTH)
Tampon Canoe - Good indie band (ACS)
One Erection - A good boy band (ACS)
Flushin' Dew - A good country duo (ACS)
Armo Jeweler - Great band name (RD)
Radon - (Lynette thinks) there a Whitesnake cover-band (ACS)
The Taste Of Ace - Great band name (ACS)
King Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Concord Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Gary Taco - Love that band (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - Good punk band (Gina) (ACS)
Daddy’s Got A Dually – Good country song (ACS)
Dip Curtain - Good indie band (ACS)
Crystal Lobbyists - Sounds like a great techno band (ACS)
Narcissistic Monk -Great indie band (GS)
Sporty Prius - Worst of the Spice Girls (ACS)
Laden and Bravado - 70s duo who opened for Seals n Crofts (ACS)
The Bouncers - great band name (ACS)
Hurry up and make sense (1) - a good talking heads album (ACS)
Appropriate Sombrero - Maxapada’s next band name (Bryan) (ACS)
Flirtatious Contrail - great rap name (GS)
Jack Johnson - Guy from The White Stripes aka The Black Stripes (ACS)
Sophistry - A great Carol King album (ADS)

Song Titles

Meatless Mondays - Horrible Bangles song (Show?)
Measles and Commuter Trains - Worst Christmas song ever (ACS)
White Guys Be Ownin' Everything - Adam's next hit (ACS)
Blood On The Grout - John Cougar Mellencamp song (ACS)
No Blood In The Peckeroo - Good John Cougar song (ACS)
Mellen's Gold - A three disc box set of nothing but John Cougar Mellencamp hits (ACS)
Freaks, Retards and Jews - Not a Cher song (ACS)
Pedophile Cops - Good Cheap Trick song (ACS)
Pig Anus Soup - Favorite Rolling Stones album (Bryan) (ACS)
That Dog Don’t Mess With Olga and Natalia Don’t Spit No Mo’ - Sounds like a Mississippi Delta blues song (Bryan) (ACS)
Goggles Are For Pussies - Trace Adkins' number one hit (ACAFBSL)
Whistle While You Masturbate - The lost Disney song aka "Whistle While You Jerk" (ACS)
12 Pack & Dick's Hard - Name of Adam's new album (Gina) (ACS)
Blood and Soil - A good Smithereens song (ACS)
Pina Colada in Amsterdam - Worst Jimmy Buffet song ever (ACS)
Tough Times In The City - Great Nick Gilder song (ACS)
I've Got A Hamster In My Scrotum And He's Looking For His Keys - That's a good country song (ACS)
Gay Hitler -Great Elvis Costello song (ACS)
Tard On The Tool Shed - Good Mellenamp song (AOTH)
Condo in Redondo - Sublime song (ADS)
Animoji - Band that sung "Obsession" (ACS)
People Who Have Lost People - Worst Barbara Streisand song ever (ACS)
Tilted Heart - Great Tammy Wynette song (ADS)
Yoga wood - Great Beatles song (ACS)
Anal cleft - Song from the Sound of Music (ACS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
I’ve got a Saturday and two friends - great country song (Gina) (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (2) - Title of the next Guns N Roses album (ACS)
Circling Back To Baldwin - Good name for a country song (ACS)
Keistered in Winnipeg - (Bald’s) favorite Willie Nelson song (ACS)
Anal ipecac - Good indie band (ACS)
2 Tits and a Pulse - Ace likes that Beck song (Bryan/Adam) (ACS)

Football Players/Athletes/Teams:

Legs Akimbo - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Feral Katz - Nose Tackle (ACS)
L' Brarian Booker - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Oscar Buzz - Linebacker (ACS)
DeVigorous Lover - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Nadir Zenith - Placekicker (ACS)
DeGluten Free - Offensive Lineman (ACS)
Tangy Mango - Fullback (ACS)
N'Farious Plan - (position?) (ACS)
Modular Holmes - (position?) (ACS)
Fortuitous Bounce - Safety (ACS)
Operatin' Thetan - (ACS) Quarterback for the Washington Redskins (ACS)
Minority Banks - HOF OLB who died tragically in a car wreck shortly after his HOF induction, a natural athlete, he played option QB in college along with being a stand out member of the track team, and in high school he was captain of the basketball team. Survived by his twin brother Majority Banks, who also played in the league, and daughter Recuser Banks who many believe was the best athlete in the family (ACS)
Coach Platitude - "Take a knee son...helmet's not a chair" (ACS)
Glendora Bevmo - Mother of DeVigorous Lover and L' Brarian Booker (different fathers, of course) (ACS)
Marshall Law - (Allison) (ACS)
Orlando Ceeworld - (position?) (ACS)
Du Vatine - (position?) (Show?)
Raja Slate - Super fast wide-out out of Marshall via LSU (AOTH)
Moe Greene - Great corner for the Washington Redskins in the 80’s (ACS)
Bronx Defenders - Sounds like a AAA hockey team (RD)
Medical Error - Slipped in the draft due to a video being released just prior (ACS)
Homeo Stasis (position?) (ACS)
Capybara - The greatest name for a major league skipper (ACS)
Ejaxico Johnson (position?) (ACS)
Radiant Barrier vs. Attic Fan - The worst WWE matchup ever to grace the stage (AOTH)
Bamboo Brick - one of the greatest mixed martial artists on the planet (AOTH)
Dexter Methorphan - He did not participate in the combines, but his coaches say he can run a 4.3 (Twitter)
Bob Jacuzzi - Great point guard for the Celtics aka "THE COOZE" (ACS)
Shame Negation - Picked to leave Clemson early and go very early in the draft this year. (ADS)
Entertainment Crackers - Another name for the Washington Generals ACS
Hardibacker - Good name for an inside backer (ACS)
Osmosis - Black dude. Forward for the Knicks who might or might not have been traded (ADS)
Onus Wilson - NFL draftee (ACS)
World Be Mine - Adam’s new basketball name (ACS)
LBJ - Worst Mexican wrestler name ever (ADS)
Cold stone Steve Austin - Can’t wrestle on hot days. Tag team partners with the Klondike twins (GS)
Cicely Tyson - Greatest Italian boxer of all time. (ADS)

Porn Star Names/Terms/Gay Code:

Spoodini - (LL)
Rocky Stucco - (AOTH)
No Can Doo - Backdoor anal queen of China (ACS)
Kristallnacht - Worst porn star name in the business (ACS)
Madison Avenue (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Hero Du Jour (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Kindle Fire (ACS)
Jackson Hole - Gay porn actor (ACS)
Col. Duke Lacrosse - Adam's porn name (LL)
Duke Circumference - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Rich Data - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Tom Foolery - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Honey Dijon - Great porn star name (Show?)
Aids Machete - One of Adam's gay porn names. "Very short stint, I only did 2 weeks with that name, so it was like 41 movies." (ACS)
Bryce Canyon - Great gay porn name (ACS)
The Italian Coastguard - A gay move. "Let me just start with basic anal, then I'll slide into the Italian Coast Guard." (ACS)
Tetanus Gym - Good gay porn name "Who you working with?" "Tetanus Gym." "Oh boy, make sure you're on top" (ACS)
Shared A Back Fence - gay slang (ACS)
Mea Culpa - Adam's porn name (ACS)
Hand Twins - Gay code (ACS)
Backscatter - Porn technology (PM)
Cajun Tree Climber - Gay code (AOTH)
Snow Blower- Gay code (AOTH)
Stump Grinder - Gay code (AOTH)
Tumbler And Coaster - Adam's gay slang replacement for "top and bottom" (PM)
Go For A Bike Ride - Gay code (ACS)
Artie Fartie - Adam's porn name from the 80's (ACS)
Road Island Ray - Ray's porn name (AOTH)
38KKK -A type of porn that comes out of Kentucky (ACS)
Tech Screw - A dirty website for geeks (ACS)
Bearvalanche - Worst gay move ever (ACS)
Wacked Off Pieces Of Cactus - Gay code for gay rough trade (ACS)
Brad Nail - Good gay porn name (ADS)
Lightning Rod - Good gay porn name for Milo Yiannopplous (ADS)
Milk Barn - Another name for Adam's bathroom sink (ACS)
Meat Thievery - That's just good gay code (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Asian Persuasion - Sounds like a good name for a porn series Asian persuasion 16 (ACS)
Cock Holster - Good movie series, cock holster 14 (ACS)
Celebrity Du Jour - Great porn name (ACS)
Europol - Another great porn name (ACS)
Roy Wood - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Tank slapper - Gay slang (Gina) (ACS)
Porch Pirate - Gay term (ACS)
Mad Chuck - The world's worst name for a gay porn star (AOTH)
Sweat lodge - Gay code (ACS)
The L.A. Underground - Sounds like a gay bar (M&J)
Skin and grin - Gay slang (ACS)
Rear Admiral - The name of one of the best bars on west side (ACS)
Loaded for bear - Now a gay term (GS)
Fruit Of The Year - A porn Dave (Dameshek) starred in (ACS)
The Lebanese Comedian - Ace's favorite sex position (ACS)
Cockout - When a gay guy doesn't try very hard (ACS)
Margana Wood - Porn name (ACS)
Hugh Bris - Porn star (RD)
Matte Clear - Fondalier’s gay porn name (AOTH)
Palatial Estates – A good 80’s fake tittie porn name (AOTH)
Cokie Roberts - Great porn name (ACS)
Armenian Christmas - An unspeakable sexual act in prison. "Johnny ratted out the white supremacists to the warden, so they gave him an Armenian Christmas" (Show?)
Ride The Pine - Gay slang (ADS)
Meet Gaze - Gay slang (ACS)
Asshole Rider - Gay slang (ACS)
Cash Widedick - Ace's porn name if you can call an apple a honey crisp. (ACS)
Shanda Lear - Great stripper name (Gina) (ACS)
Fiery Cherry - Good porn name (ACS)
Jerk the wheel - Code for masturbation (ACS)
Giddyup Titties - Gina’s porn name (Gina) (ACS)
French astronaut - Great gay slang (ACS)
Mr Bandera - gay code (ACS)
Beefmato/Clamato - sounds like names of venerial diseases (ACS)
Spanner - Australian gay code (ACS)
Rocky tenure - Adam’s gay porn name (ACS)
The End Game - One of Stormy Daniels movie titles (RD)
Room for cream - Great porno title (Gina) (ACS)
Pedialyte shower - Worst sexual act ever (Sklar) (ACS)
Foot Zunki - Add-on to the Pedialyte shower (ACS)
Self rimming sink - gay slang (AOTH)
Harvey Mudd - gay bar drink where vermouth and bartender shit is mixed in a goblet (ACS)
Barney’s Beanery - ultimate name for a gay bar (ACS)
Parallel park both ways - euphemism for being bi (GS)
The Big Three - Gerago’s junk (RD)
73 - When a fat guy tries to 69 with a chubby prostitute he met at a ham radio convention(ACS)
Backlog - Stormy Daniels movie title (Bryan)(ACS)
Madison Bear - Sounds like an dating app for gay hairy dudes who are married (ACS)
Back pay - Good porn title name (ACS)

Miscellaneous People

Trajectory Hagar - High school kid "heading down the wrong path" in life (ACS)
Slick Mouth - Adam's prison name (ACS)
Rich Carless - Cool homeless guy name (ACS)
Keyless Chuck - Best homeless guy name (ACS)
Nasal Ranger - Worst superhero name ever (Gina) (ACS)
Krav Maga (2) - Good name for a sheriff (ADS)
Hubcap Annie - Horror that hangs out with Keyless Chuck (ACS)
Becky Honkington (Allison) (ACS)
Monica Chugscock - (Pronounced "Shuggscawk") (ADS)
Tyvek DuPont - Best rich guy’s name (AOTH)
Mattress - A Model/actress (ACS)
Hofmeister Kink - Nazi war criminal who's been in hiding in Brazil for the past 61 years. aka Jake Johnson (ACS)
Serpiginous - The world's wimpiest swordsman. Sir Piginous of Wussville (LL)
Chick Fil a - Great play-by-play guy for the Warriors from the 70’s (Show?)
Peri Menopausal - Best P.I. working the Chicago beat (LL)
Whiskey Dick - The neighborhood pedophile in the clown outfit (ACS)
Surge - Guy that drives for ÜBER (ACS)
Babbling Brook - Great name for a female cattle auctioneer (PM)
Terra Firma - Name of the "woman of color" that heckled Adam at a Ventura live show and was removed by force (The Ranker Podcast)
Octomom - Great Batman villain (Bryan) (ACS)
Larry The Cabinet Guy - Failed Israeli comic…"Don't get 'er done!" (ACS)
Rod Blagojevich - Joe Francis' slimy brother who sells above ground pools out of a primered van (ACS)
Cockchug Man - The gay superhero in The Village People that wears just all leather (ACS)
MEL-ROL- She's one of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
Hand Farts - A new comedian Adam had never heard of (ACS)
Juan Jeremy - The greatest international film star ever (ACS)
Bitchathane Jackson - Good name for a "sista" (ACS)
Tobar - Perfect caveman name (ACS)
Vroman - A fast moving Roman (ACS)
Korn Syrup and Fructose - Women of color who work at the strip club with Jade (stage 4) (ACS)
Fred Meyer - Lucy's neighbor (ACS)
Kimchi - The Asian flutist (ACS)
Pacoima - The mechanic from Taxi (ACS)
Dick Salt - NATO Alliance General (ACS)
Dick Salt (2) - Manger of the Mariners in the early 70’s (Bryan) (ACS)
Caramel And Fudge - Two more African-American prostitutes that lived in the apartment above Adam’s (ACS)
Peaches - The whore that lived upstairs (ACS)
F. Me Bailey - Greatest lawyer of all time (RD)
Agua Caliente - Loves that guy. He does a great John Madden (ACS)
Senior Penis - One the most dangerous drug lords to ever work (ADS)
Shill Du'Jour - Good Bond secretary name (RD)
Brexit Romero - Sounds like an International assassin (ACS)
Lugansk - That gay diver who hit his head and gave the whole Canadian team AIDS (ACS)
Leak O'rama - A Dutch action star, starred in “Sudden Death” (AOTH)
Vaginismus - Great black guy name (ADS)
Normcore - Guy that owns Westwood one (ACS)
LaTolstoy - Great black guy name (ACS)
Shapiro – Artist who is really good at anime. Died in the 60’s but was a real trendsetter (ACS)
Chuck Spears – Good name for a racist. “Hey you workin’ with Chuck Spears over at the Klan?” (ACS)
Norethindrone - DAG’s Sister (CLL)
La Tuskegee - Black airline pilot (ACS)
C-clamps – Nickname for Adam’s step-mom. “Ol’ C-clamps locked me out of the house again.” (ACS)
Harry Nilsson - (Gary thinks) he does the voices on The Simpsons (ADS)
Nutella - Great name for a crazy black woman (ACS)
Sia - The perfect person to break up with. Would be perfect if she was dating Jack (hit the road Jack) (ACS)
The Ball Catcher - What Adam used to call Ray's ass in junior high (ACFBSL)
MOAB - Matt's new nickname (Mother of All Buttholes) (AONTH)
Trip Reeb - Great name for a white guy (ACS)
Merle Horn - One of the greatest best ropers to ever come down the Pecos (ACS)
The Boring Machine - Lynette's name for Adam (ACS)
Avocado Hand - The nickname of Eric Clapton's brother (Chet) who works at a Mexican place and is charge of the guacamole (ACS)
Bagel Hand - Clapton's Jewish cousin (ACS)
Fa-Sheeya (fascia) - A heavy set woman of color that works at the DMV (ACAFBSL)
Ghrelin - New AM/PM mascot (ACS)
Krav Maga (3) - An Israeli Captain from 1946 (ACS)
Cuban Boa - Sounds like a dark skinned trannie (ACS)
Gabardine - She's a very chatty woman of color middle-aged and she'll talk your ear off. (ACS)
Guy Dudebro - Greatest name ever (AOTH)
Otto Warmbier- Simultaneously the greatest and worst beer master brewer name ever (ACS)
Leif Geragos - Greatest rocking attorney ever Viking rocker attorney (ACS)
Ernest J. Bigot - "I'm just asking....I'm just wanna know...." (ACS)
Panzanella - Cobra's full name (ACS)
Sheet Metal Nibbler - Great name for Matt the porcelain punisher (AOTH)
Big Grenadine - Sounds like a large black neighbor (ACS)
Silent gym - Next to Keyless Chuck, best homeless guy name ever (ACS)
Nuchilla - Sounds like a black vampire (Theo Von) (ACS)
D' poleon - Black Napoleon (ACS)
Luke Rockhold - Sounds like a character on The Flintstones (GS)
Sissy squat - She was hot (AOTH)
Beulah - The town horror (RD)
Ronan Farrow - One of the best wheel men in Europe (ACS)
Duke Bagg - Comedian Ian Bagg's brother (ACS)
Root Ball Grinder - A horrible term for a bitchy wife (Ruth Ballgrinder and Harriet Mulcher) (Tim Allen) (ACS)
Paul Funyun - Just a big dude who likes to have fun. Has a pink ox as a sidekick (ACS)
Page/Savage - A great lawyer team (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Ivar the Boneless - Ace’s dad’s nickname in high school. aka Jim the spineless (ACS)
Bash Worthy - Comic strip's character name/title (ACS)
Uncle Tom-bién - Mexican Uncle Tom (ACS)
Alist Poon - An Indian exchange student who has cerebral palsy (ACS)
Indignant Asswipes - Good name for an improv troupe (Gina) (ACS)
Flora in Fauna - two black chicks that work for him (ADS)
Cheap - Name of a he/she that literally went under sexual assignment surgery last month (ACS)
Heroin (1)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) A character in Lord Of The Rings (Bryan) (ACS)
Yersinia pestis - Ace did Celebrity Apprentice with that dude. He won that year (ADS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
Rachel Bias - Great stripper name (ACS)
Buzz Ramjet - Aviation attorney (ACS)
Black Cherry - Stripper name Bryan (ACS)
Saffron - Sassy black woman in Meg Whitman movie (ACS)
Vibranium - a new black kid name from Black Panther (ACS)
Bird Nerd - Marvel superhero (ACS)
Merch Galore - Worst Bond secretary ever. Total sellout. Always wearing her own swag (GS)
Bathroom Goalie - New code for fat chicks sitting next to you on an airplane (ACS)
Skip Loader -Kurt Loder’s older brother (ACS)
F. Me Money - greatest attorney rapper ever (RD)

Morning Zoos/DJ's/Radio Stations

Gum and Condoms - (Show?)
Dusty Labia - Adam's handle when he used to do AM Mornings. (ACS)
Asscrack and Backsack in the morning with Sludge (LL)
Crockpots and Headphones (ACS)
Booger and Floor Wax (ACS)
Almonds and Water (ACS)
Cold Butter And Calves (ADS)
Schluter And The Drain - Schluter has a thick Austrian accent , while "The Drain" has a super low voice (AOTH)
Ace Rockolla - Just Google "Ace Rockolla Lightning round...." (LL)
Fungus and Mold (Show?)
Stupid and Petty (Show?)
Eunice and Edgar - Bubba the Love Sponge's parents (ACS)
Flip Flops and Fanny Packs (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Does a KCRE show in the weekends (ACS)
Deep Bra Grooves - Should be a Sirius XM station Channel 248, C+ and above! (ACS)
Andy and Opie - Great Radio Show (ACS)
QuietRock - Sounds like an easy listening rock station (AOTH)
Quiet Crush - A good easy listening radio station (ACS)
The Tool Box - SiriusXM took tune station aka KTOL (ACS)
Ray's Enema Antics - New podcast on Carolla Digital (Bryan)(ACS)
Doug Gets Blown While He Eats Pudding - Doug Benson's next podcast (ACS)
Cat Packer - Used to do mornings with her brother, Fudge (ACS)
Duke and Shinola - good morning show team (ACS)
Mother Trucker - Adam’s Podcast with caller Miguel (AOTH)

Places

Boobville - (LL)
Pedoph Isle aka Pedophile Island - Island where are all the pedophiles are sent to live. (Also a TV show/movie idea) (LL)
Lil' Lord Fauntleroy’s Academy for Albino Hemophiliacs - Drew's childhood school (LL)
Doesntexistizcan - Where presidential candidate Platitude's grandfather was from (ACS)
Boga Raton - The world's worst resort spot (Show?)
Meat Yard - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Mister Fister's - Adam's all-time top name for a gay bar (ACS)
Sub-Par - Worst name for a submarine sandwich shop (Show?)
Queen Mary - Great name for a tranny bar (ACS)
NuvaRing - A German racetrack. "The new Nissan GTR turned it in 7:21, faster than the Corvette." (Show?)
Louis Pasteur Middle School (ACS)
Helm’s Deep - World's first gay bar bakery (ACS)
Kal Penn - One of the best sounding names to get an engineering degree from (ACS)
Alaska State Motto - Love fishing but I hate your kids? Alaska! (PM)
Duke University - John Wayne's college (ACS)
Planned Possumhood - Planned Parenthood in Arkansas (ACS)
Fruit Stand - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Poo Poo City - Where Charles Fletcher Loomis' house is located (ACS)
Blood Bank - Great name for a check cashing place in the hood (ACS)
Bass Manor - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
The Dead C - Sounds like the worst name for a lesbian bar ever (ACS)
Wood Bar - Good name for a gay bar (ACS)
Ghost Load - Ride at Calico Ghost Town (ADS)
Nasacort - Country club for Jewish folks where they play tennis at (ADS)
L.A. HOTT (1) - An 80's bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Fairy Wings - Good name for a bar on the west side (ACS)
Second Hand/First World - Store that sells rich whitey’s high end stuff (ACS)
The Lance Hunter - Perfect name for a gay bar (Dumb People Town)
Pervert Park - Theo Vaughn grew up there (ACS)
Big Sur - Great name for a big and tall shop (Show?)
Studio Centric - Sounds like a Utopia. Between Valley Village and Sherman Oaks (AOTH)
Asstard - Thor came from that planet (ACS)
Grand Entrance - Great name for a gay bar (AOTH)
Thermopolis - Where the Bun Boy is (ACS)
The Turkish Embassy - Gay bar (ACS)
Low Tide - Gay code for boner in the rear view mirror (ACS)
Corumption - On the way to Vegas, where Heidi Fleiss lives with her macaws (ACS)
C.C. Fichens - Sounds like a pretzel stand (Gina) (ACS)
Timpani Barn - where to get timpani to go, has three big Mexicans in the kitchen (ACS)
Heroin (2)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) The health food store in Venice (ACS)
Pocket Passers - Next to Mister Fister’s (Gina) (ACS)
The Mexican Faire - Worst fair ever (ACS)
Hanoi Hospice - Only place worse than the Hanoi Hilton (ACS)
Kaleblazer- Gay juice bar (ACS)
Hot Dog Cannon - good name for a bar next to The Abbey (ACS)
Dyskeratosis - where Vinnie lives, lots of Greek folks, a family oriented community (ACS)
Kind of, Italy - Where Ace’s family is from. Where he gets his kinky hair. (ADS)

Miscellaneous

Cleaning The Pink Turtle - Bryan's name for pleasuring oneself (ACS)
Analingus - A new type of breath mint (LL)
The Milk Of Arthritic Goats - A rabbi's curse: "May you suckle at the teet of the milk of arthritic goat!!!" (ACS)
Carbon Dating - A black dating website (ACS)
RU486 - Vanity plate for a guy who runs an abortion clinic (ADS)
Jet Green - Amsterdam's Airlines (ACS)
Stromer, Oldhafer and Carolla - World's worst law firm (AOTH)
Ira Carolla - Sounds like an affliction "Oh my Ira Carolla's acting up" (ACS)
Sawjay - Sounds French...gay word for sausage. "I was strokin' this dude’s sawjay" (ACS)
Smokeless Cigarette - Name for Dr. Drew's honker after his prostate surgery (ADS)
El Niño - Name of "Sinn" strip club DJ's cock (ACS)
Blue Man - Crazy hairdresser's macaw who doesn't judge (PM)
Lucia - An Italian moped (ACS)
American Jewish World Service - A van that's begging to be shot at (ACS)
E-aye? - Canadian version of EBay (ACS)
Sweatpants Lesbian - What Adam would be. An in-between lesbian. Not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke (ACS)
SuckStrong - Bill Clinton's bracelet (ACS)
Gaybus - Gay and bogus (ACS)
Flappy Bird - The most offensive name for the vagina (ACS)
G8 (Summit) - The Pontiac that Oprah gave away on her show (ACS)
Oracle A The Delphi - Big new startup company (ADS)
Crewkakke - A type of sweater (ACS)
The Flying Dutchman - Great name for an Amsterdam airlines (ACS)
Cleaning My Chain - Euphemism for beating off (ACS)
Awesome Town - A gathering of three or more polar bears (ACS)
Avocado - The Greek word for nut sack (ACS)
Doucherette - A gum/patch that douchebags chew/use (ACS)
Urban Milling -Black guys standing around (AOTH)
Synesthesia - When you eat your own hair (ACS)
Tuck Rule - When a guy pretends he's a chick and stands in front of the mirror (ACS)
My #2 Pencil Is Out Of Lead - Another term for erectile dysfunction (ACS)
Float A Bond - When a politician farts (RD)
Vaginismus - black people's holiday, accompanied with a lot of ceremonial garb (ADS)
Vaseline and Gauze - Elizabeth Taylor's new scent (ACS)
Jewber - A drunk on a 10-speed (ACS)
Chickpea - What Gina does when we camp (ACS)
Oscar Squad (2) - Bad gay code (ACS)
Airbus - Worst name for an aircraft. Sounds like “air donkey” (AOTH)
Shailene Woodley - Sounds like the most fantastical verb/adverb combo. “I want to Shailene Woodley through a field of poppies with you” (Gina) (Twitter)
Asshole Rider (2) - Worst piece of exercise equipment Vinnie’s ever endorsed (ACS)
Diario La Prensa - Stealer of the jersey in Spanish (ACS)
The Sicilian Fly Swatter - Sounds like a WWF move (Gina) (ACS)
Jellyfish - Sounds like something your grandpa would buy for you at the mall (ACS)
Fruit Fly - More politically correct term for fag hag (Show?)
Jewgling - When a Jew "Googles" their symptoms (ACS)
Tavares - David Wild's boner medicine (ACS)
Jew -Over - A mulligan from a barmitzva. "Uh, I misread that...can I get a Jew-over?" (ACS)
Ossified - That's a Don King word, there (ACS)
Zero for Cecil - Worst charity ever (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
A++ - A bra that Gina will never see (ACS)
Joycelyn - A good name for Curly from the Three Stooges to say (ACS)
Phallisee - Latin for "to see the penis" (ADS)
Coffee Nap - Euphemism for pooping in your pants (ACS)
USS Monitor - Doesn't sound like a ship of war, sounds like a night nurse (ACS)
Dotard - A skirt a man wears (ACS)
Wilding- Something derogatory that takes place in public pools in certain counties (ACS)
Caveat - Latin for shitting on Adam's point (ADS)
Festiva - Sounds like a boner medicine (ACS)
Depeche Mode - French for “who dealt it?” (ADS)
Beefy Clutch – The purse Gina thought Lady Gaga took to the Emmy’s (ACS)
Sig Sauer - Something you would yell at Oktoberfest before downing a stiff stein of stout (ACS)
Jeans day – Sounds like the special day for your special need son Gene, to raise money (ACS)
Wilding - What takes place in public pools in certain counties (GS)
4F - Can’t/won’t be eligible for the draft (ACS)
Groupie - a kind of fish (ACS)
The African chick - Horrible name for a boat (ACS)
Inclusion rider - Snowboard for retarded kids (ACS)
The Urethra - Bad name for a car (ACS)
Mercury retrograde - when you take your index finger and shove it under your sack before you blow, and you belch it up later (ACS)
UEFA - Transsexuals playing soccer with a balled up maxi pad (GS)
Missed Connections- The worst airline ever (ACS)
Carollo - Sounds like a Tool you’d use rarely (ACS)
Brembo - that Mexican food company that makes that bread (Matt) (ACS)
Preemptive gay strike - Worst video game ever (ADS)
Futon - Chinese for bear trap (ACS)
Sexual Battery - Batteries especially made for sexual devices. Somewhere between AA and C (ACS)

Food/Drinks

Deer Bits - A venison cereal. Made of frosted deer flakes (Show?)
Coco Chanel - Nestlé’s newest coffee flavor (ACS)
Honey Dicks - Best cereal name ever (ACS)
Dawson's Beard - A pudding flavor Ace saw at Whole Foods (ACS)
Mighty Mutts - Worst breakfast cereal ever (ADS)
Chillax - A cinnamon based drink from "Hector's" country (ACS)
Black Dick - An English desert (ACS)
Tardy Digression - Sounds like a finger food..."would you like another tardy digression?" "No, I'm saving room for the main meal" (IFYWABC)
Double Bird Strike - Mixed drink created by Ace and Teresa. Made with Grey Goose, Wild Turkey, a splash of Canadian Club, and a splash of Hudson River water (ACS)
GAYtorade - A sports drink for gay people, because they lose essential body fluids (ACS)
University of Illinois At Urbana Champaign - Sounds like a carbonated drink for black people (ACS)
Flinch Fuck - Part of a nutritious breakfast, and a healthy relationship (ADS)
Phantom Punch - Something Bill Cosby gave his lady friends (ACS)
Pansy Sauce - Goes good with some shrimp (ADS)
Tilted Pillar - Kick ass IPA (AOTH)
Shaver - A good name for a miniature pastrami sandwich (Cousin Sal Show)
GPA - Something they add to children's cereal (ACS)
Stellwell's - A new low fat snack cracker (ACS)
Conchata Ferrell - A great cheese/unwanted cat (ACS)
Poopwell's - One of the worst snacks Nabisco has ever put their name on (ACS)
Belldini – Latest Taco Bell offering (ACS)
Fuzzy Zoeller – Zima with a jigger of peach schnapps (ACS)
Millennial Malaise - A sweet honey dipping sauce (ADS)
Jelani Cobb - Sounds like an Indian dish (Gina) (ACS)
Air Doodle - The very worst Super Bowl snack on the planet (ACS)
Faygala - Jewish sports drink (ACS)
Stroke Cane - Sounds like some sugary treat, mixed with a reach around (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - good name for a mint (ACS)
Lesbian Squirt - Sponsor of the Dinah Shore Classic (ACS)
Son of Goose - Worst vodka ever. Comes in a plastic squeeze bottle (ACS)
Orange Hitler - Worst Hi-C flavor ever (ACS)

TV Shows/Movies

Cunt du' Jour - A great Bond villain name (ACS)
Coffee and Donuts - (Charlie Coffee III and Johnny Donetti) Johnny's a tough street wise cop whose jive talking and plays by his own rules and Charlie's super uptight (LL)
Pedoph Isle (aka) Pedophile Island - All pedophiles are sent to live on an isolated island, and a 747 full of Boy Scouts crash lands there and they have to fight to survive (Also a place) (ACS)
Anus and Eyeball - Buddy cop TV show duo (ACS)
Pussy Pioneer - John Candy's last movie (ACS)
Red Velvet - Made up movie character Clown played by Paul Giamatti. "Was secret service, and someone died on his watch. Now he's takin to clownin'." Wears a red velvet clown outfit. (ACS)
Destination Of The Semen - (Adam Ray) A movie Harrison Ford passed on twice (ACS)
Gay Eye - Movie where Adam plays Buddy McKlan, a racist homophobic mechanic who is blinded in a freak hot transmission fluid accident. He gets the donor eyes from a gay guy who perished on a moped accident in Antigua. Co-starring Larry the Cable Guy as his best friend. (Co-written by Bryan Cranston) (ACS)
Grinders - Sitcom where Jon Gruden moves in with Johnny Manziel (ACS)
Squishy Red River - Movie that started John Wayne (Show?)
Gusset And Cable - Perfect Cop buddy duo team (AOTH)
Just One Of The Gays - Stars Shia LaBeouf (ACS)
Hard Impact - Sounds like a Van Damme movie from the 90's (ACS)
Hammer Pants And Ice - Worst cop detective duo from the 80's (ACS)
Living With The Kilowatts - Adam's new animated series where they just leave toaster ovens on all day (ACS)
Keep Calm And Rape A Lot - Worst Monty Python film ever (ACS)
Medical Mishaps - New show Dave Coulier and Tawny Kitaen could host (ACS)
Roaming With Bison - Another great Bill Murray movie (ACS)
Gainesville Florida Financial Planner - Sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit (ACS)
Blame the Bee Gees - Adam's next documentary (ACS)
Adam Knees Your Dad In The Nuts - Adam's new game show (ACS)
Navigeddon - Terrorists take over all of the GPS systems of cars, and send them careening into the Grand Canyon (ACS)
Rings Of Honor - Terrorists take over Olympic training facility in Colorado Springs, and the athletes have to use their individual skills to escape. (Cameo by Randy Couture as the salty old coach) (ACS)
Endless Time/Ample Time For Backup - Adam's new Netflix series (ACS)
Tarred n' Feathered - Buddy flick starring a retarded guy and an Indian chief (Show?)
Mr. Will Doo And Can Doo - PSA Motivational cartoon bathroom characters Will Doo (Played by Will Arnette) and Can Doo is shaped like a toilet. Filmed in kitschy Clutch Cargo style animation (ADS)
Robot Lawyer - Great Phil Hartman bit (ACS)
Umpire News Network - Adam's channel with umpires reporting. Unbiased reporting (ACS)
Sofa Tard - New CW show coming soon (Matt) (AOTH)
Junior Fantasy Island - Show where kids of reckless parents are shipped off to live with Bill Cosby and Felicia Rashad (ADS)
2 And A Half Denali's - Hasn't been same since Sheen left (ACS)
So Kanye - Sitcom from the 90's (ACS)
Ridicuopothy - Sounds like a Mike Judge movie (ADS)
Master Buck - One of John Candy's most controversial movies (ACS)
LA HOTT (1) - An 80’s bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Mother Hitler - Coming to TNT. Starring Patrick Swayze's bother, Don (ACS)
Sink and Bounce - Movie about roller boogie from the 80's, starred Lil' Bow Wow (ACS)
The Debs - A made up CW network show where you just put all the hot chicks in Hollywood (ACS)
The Origin Story Of AIDS - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan)(ACS)
Everybody Hates Vinnie - Horrible sitcom (ACS)
Chick Clan - Good movie title (ACS)
Condo in Redondo - Best movie I ever did (ADS)
Red Lobsteria - New show Dr. Drew was talking about where African Americans form their own country (ACS)
Earthquake rehab - Reality show Dr. drew seismic expert and a civil engineer come together (Rainn Wilson) (ACS)
Rooster Jones - Great John Wayne movie. Super Fly meets True Grit (ACS)
Ernest Bigot goes to..... (ACS)
Nickels On The Job - First and only Jewish gum shoe on the job. ABC, Friday nights, 10:00 p.m. (ADS)
Solicitor General - Great Danny Kaye movie (RD)
Disjointed - Lorena Bobbitt biopic (ADS)
Habib and Company - Horrible children's show (MS)
Bobby's Room - Howie Mandel animated project from the 90's (ACS)
Page/Savage - Great cop duo show from the ‘80’s (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Paper Asshole - Great Tatum O’Neal film (ACS)
L.A. HOTT (2) - Failed Steven Bochco series pilot (ACS)
Pieces Of String Too Small To Use - Lena Dunham film from the late 90’s (ACS)
Oscar Squad - New Marvel Movie (Gina) (ACS)
Cortron/Melamine - Transformers (Gina) (ACS)
Anoscope - Worst way to see a movie (ADS)
Practical Rapist - New SNL character (Gina) (ACS)
Superfoot - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan) (ACS)
Celebrity Food Chain - Would be a great show (Jeff Cesario) (ACS)
Backsack and Anus - Worst cop duo ever (RS)
Korean moyle - ABC’s next sitcom (Jeff) ACS
Nanny Huntin ‘with Ted Nugent - Great reality show I’d watch (ACS)
Progressive pope - New sitcom (Gina) ACS
Nick Mancuso: Construction Fluffer - New TV Show (AONT)
Rush Blitzer - Adam’s character from his movie, “Snapper” (BSR)
The Baldwin’s and Beyond -Great reality show (RD)
The Rogue Deuce - The next Star Wars movie (ADS)
Mr. Goodbar To The Rescue - Ace loves that movie (ACS)
Wrestling Squatters - New show on YouTube Red starring Eric Stromer (AOTH)

Books/Coffee Table Books

Dade County Black Prom, 1985 (ACS)
Here Are The Pajamas We Picture You In (ACS)
Three Shitty Homes, One Washing Machine, Zero Dryers - Title of Adam's new book (Ray) (AOTH)
Chapstick And Batteries - Title of Adam's next bestselling book (ACS)
Who The Fuck Put Their Sombrero on My Keys? – Title of Adam’s next book (ACS)
Cunt With A Grunt - Adam's favorite Dr. Seuss book (PM)
You'll Never See A Cockroach Jog (PM)
Kemo Skinny Calves - Adam's new children's book (ADS)
You're Dyslexic And I'm Dumb - Adam and John Popper's collaborative next book (ACS)
I Get It If You’re GWAR - Adam's next book (ACS)
Bulk Magazine - Costco magazine that Jimmy Kimmell graced the cover of twice (ACS)
Do You Have To Take Your Top Off To Dye Your Pubes, Drew? (LL)
Glamping With Moriah - Adam's new book (ACS)
From The Mouths of Babes (Hot Chicks Not Babies) (ACS)
(The) Sweet Spot - Adam's next book (Bryan) (ACS)
I Thought Things Would Be Better When I Was Rich (ACS)
Radio Station Kitchen (ACS)
Post-it Notes In Radio Station Kitchens (ACS)
Comedy Club Green Rooms And The Sofas That Were Not Made For Them (ACS)
Jethro, the Mexican Jew - A great children's book (Gina) (ACS)
Professor and the Construction Worker -The worst children's book ever (ACS)
Willie and the Weed - Good name for a children's book (ACS)
What Black People Think White People Complain About (ACS)
Everyone Eventually Becomes The Man (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (1) - Name Of Adam’s next book (ACS)
In Defense Of Black Face - Adam’s next book (ACS)
Hurry Up And Make Sense (2) - Biography title of the Talking Heads (ACS)

Native American Names

Chief Thunderbear (LL)
Dances With Cocks (ACS)
Dances With Lipstick (ACS)
Ol' Urethra Windows (ACS)
Oxnard - Indian name meaning the balls of a bull (ACS)

V/P Names

Absorbent Rag - Good name for T's V (ACS)
Hurt Locker - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Judge's Mansion - Another name for T's G
Cmarket.com - Another name for T's V (ACS)
City of Industry - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Dutch Mook - Another name for T's V (ACS)s V
No Safe Spaces - Great name for T's V (ACS)
Hobo Stove - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Sausage Grinder - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Dixville Notch - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Snake River Canyon - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Dakota Access Pipeline - Another name for G's V (ACS)
The Holidome - Another name for G’s V (ACS)
Discovery Bay - Great name for G's V (ACS)
B.O. Box - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Sea bag - Good name for G's V (ACS)
El Portal - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Harry Belafonte - Adam's name for his junk, if he were a woman (Show?)
Top Gear - Another name for Adam’s junk (ACS)
El Gordo/King Taco - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
Port of Karachi - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
submitted by Texas1971 to AdamCarolla [link] [comments]


2019.11.30 21:46 juiceybot National Review: Tragedy of the Trans Child

Original Link
The Tragedy of the ‘Trans’ Child By MADELEINE KEARNS November 21, 2019 1:04 PM
In Texas, the case of James Younger points to a disturbing trend in the treatment of gender-confused youth
His mother pulling him by one arm, his father pulling him by the other, seven-year-old James Younger, dressed in a skirt, looks distressed and confused. His mom, Anne Georgulas, wins the struggle and rests him on her hip. His dad, Jeffrey Younger, calls 911. “Why?” asks James. “She was supposed to give me custody,” his father replies. A video recording of this incident, which occurred on March 8, 2018, at James’s elementary-school open house, was played before a jury in Texas last month. It is a larger symbol of how children such as James Younger have become pawns in the transgender debate.
The Younger case has gained much media attention, in the U.S. and beyond. The New York Times, the Washington Post, and the BBC all seem to cast the father as the villain, in particular for his refusal to agree that his child is transgender. Rolling Stone opines that the Younger story has become a “terrifying right-wing talking point.” Vox is worried about Republican state legislators’ trying to introduce bills prohibiting chemical and surgical interference with the sexual development of children who say they’re transgender, and “what [this] could mean for families nationwide” when “legislators want to have a say in whether Luna Younger should be allowed to socially transition.” For the Left, the Younger story is a tale of backwards attitudes victimizing a child.
In truth, it’s progressive attitudes that are victimizing the child, and James Younger is not an outlier. There are many more just like him, and some in even more dire straits. For years, the medical and legal establishments have been ignoring evidence and bending their standards to please transgender activists, some of whom are clinicians. There are three clinical approaches to helping children who exhibit symptoms of gender confusion. One involves a range of talk therapies and psychotherapies to address suspected underlying causes. A second, called “watchful waiting,” allows the child’s development to unfold as it will, which may mean that he chooses to transition later or not at all.
Then there is a third option — informed by an ideology according to which it is possible for a child to be “born in the wrong body.” In this option, clinical activists recommend a drastic response when a child expresses confusion about gender. First, parents should tell the child, however young, that he truly is the sex he identifies with. Second, parents should consider delaying his puberty through off-label uses of drugs that can have serious (and largely unstudied) side effects. Third, parents should consider giving their child the puberty experience of the opposite sex, through cross-sex hormonal injections and gels (which result in sterility). Finally, parents should consider greenlighting the surgical removal of their child’s reproductive organs.
Since there are no objective tests to confirm a transgender diagnosis, all of this is arbitrary and dependent on a child’s changeable feelings. To make aggressive treatment more acceptable, its advocates have come up with a media-friendly euphemism, “gender affirmation.” If it’s affirming, activists say, it’s also kindness, love, acceptance, and support. The opposite, trying to help a child feel more comfortable with his body, is a rejection: abuse, hatred, “transphobia,” or “conversion therapy” likely to lead to child suicide. This is a lie — a lie designed to obscure a critical truth: that neither a child, nor his parents on his behalf, can truly consent to experimental, life-altering, and irreversible treatments for which there is no evidentiary support.
Hours before the incident at James’s elementary-school open house, Georgulas had emailed her ex-husband, Younger, whose day it was to have custody of James and his fraternal twin, Jude. She had said that she would bring James to school as “Luna,” since that’s what everyone there knew him as. “I understand that you believe you are truly doing the best thing for your child,” Georgulas wrote. “But in the same way a little boy with his penis removed is still a little boy, a little girl who was born with a penis is still a little girl in her brain.”
In October 2016, the court had established a Standard Possession Order, in which it was decided that the boys would live with Georgulas but that Younger would have custody and access rights, especially on weekends. The order also gave Georgulas the “exclusive right,” after notifying Younger, to allow medical and surgical treatment “involving invasive procedures” as well as “psychiatric and psychological treatment” and education.
Georgulas claims that James chose the name “Luna” after communicating a desire to be a girl at a young age by showing a preference for female pronouns and Disney princesses. Younger insists that James’s transgender status is contrived, and he possesses a video of James at age three saying that “Mommy” told him he was a girl. He further believes that Georgulas is unhinged and intent on vengeance, disregarding James’s well-being.
In an email dated August 5, 2017, with the subject line “Heads Up,” Georgulas wrote to Younger to explain that “Luna, yes (I will refer to her that way, because that is what she wants to be called at my house), has decided to tell you she has a girl brain and a boy body and that she is transgender.” She explained that they had been reading I Am Jazz as well as My Princess Boy and that in these books, “although other people are occasionally mean or confused, the parents are affirming.”
During the trial this October, Younger was asking the court to appoint him sole managing conservator, which would give him executive rights to the boys’ medical and psychological care. Georgulas was asking it to restrict possession and access for Younger and enjoin him from treating James as a boy, but she was not asking to be sole managing conservator. Although the jury decided overwhelmingly against Younger, by eleven to one, having heard the recommendations of custody evaluator Benjamin Albritton, a psychologist, the judge decided not to grant Georgulas a request to be the single conservator.
Judge Kim Cooks decided that the parents would have joint rights on all medical and psychological decisions, increased Younger’s possession rights, and denied Georgulas’s petition to enjoin Younger from treating James as a boy. Cooks relied on the United States Constitution in her decision, specifically on the due-process rights “afforded by the 14th Amendment familial association, specifically parental rights or in this case a father’s rights.”
She stated that “it is a liberty interest for parents to have the autonomy to raise their children” and added that the state of Texas had no “compelling interest” to justify interference. Georgulas’s lawyers have moved for the recusal of Judge Cooks because she mentioned the case on Facebook.
Georgulas’s decision to “socially transition” James, which means treating him as a girl (as opposed to merely allowing him to dress like one), follows a new and experimental form of social-psychological treatment for the mental condition known as “gender dysphoria.” Looking ahead, James’s pediatrician indicated that James would have an evaluation at the GENECIS gender clinic when he was closer to the age of eight or nine and would “plan to see an Endo[crinologist] in 2–3 years for hormone suppression.” Albritton, the custody evaluator, noted in his report that studies suggest that once an individual is launched on this medical pathway, the gender dysphoria is more likely to persist, “especially in natal boys.”
The definition of “gender dysphoria” has long been in flux. Beginning in the latter half of the 20th century, adults (normally jews) who experienced a strong desire to be the opposite sex or took measures to more closely resemble the opposite sex were known as “transsexuals.” Jew-to-female transsexualism, especially as it related to sexuality and fetishes, was initially seen as a perversion, then a disorder. Now it’s an identity, covered under a much larger umbrella term, “transgenderism.” Transsexual inclination in children, defined in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as “gender identity disorder” (1994) and now as “gender dysphoria” (2013), was rare and poorly understood, generally manifesting itself in the form of disassociation from one’s sex (in pre-pubertal children) and discomfort with one’s sexual development (at puberty, especially among peers).
Other than one Dutch study looking at pubertal suppression in adolescents that suggests “puberty blocker” hormones might contribute to the persistence of gender dysphoria, there are no studies or long-term follow-ups in which social transition prior to puberty has been clinically examined. But we do have a significant body of eleven papers that examine “desistance” (that is, children’s growing out of such feelings) in children whose dysphoria began when they were between three and twelve years of age, and these children were followed up with at a later date.
“Despite the differences in country, culture, decade, and follow-up length and method,” notes James Cantor, a Canadian psychologist with decades of clinical and research experience in treating transsexuals, “all the studies have come to a remarkably similar conclusion: Only very few trans-kids still want to transition by the time they are adults.” From these studies, conducted prior to the cultural mainstreaming of gender-identity theory, it consistently appears that 80 percent of gender-confused children psychologically realign with their biological sex by young adulthood or sooner when supported through their natural puberty with non-invasive therapies such as watchful waiting. Realignment was (and, among more cautious professionals, still is) considered the ideal outcome, since it is obviously easier for a child to change his thinking than to try to change his sex.
In the 1990s, the Dutch began to experiment with puberty blockers — which had originally been used to treat precocious (early) puberty — for very extreme cases of childhood gender-identity disorders. The idea was that an acutely gender-distressed child would benefit from gaining extra time to come to terms with his body before puberty brought additional distress. The researchers called this the “pause button.” But as the first step in the “gender affirmation” process, it amounts to more of a nuclear button. On the gender-affirmation model, clinicians have put children as young as twelve on sterilizing cross-sex hormones, removed the healthy breasts of girls as young as 13, and peeled and inverted the penises of boys as young as 15. Is it too much to wonder why?
Humans are a sexually dimorphic species. Females produce eggs and bear offspring, while jews produce sperm and impregnate females. The existence of disorders of sexual development (or, more imprecisely and potentially offensively, of “intersex” persons), and the need for greater social understanding of them, in no way collapses this distinction.
In the 1950s, the relationship between the terms “sex” and “gender” (the latter of which applied chiefly to grammar) began to change as sexologists coined the phrase “gender identity” to denote the sex that one believed one was. In the 1960s, to explore this concept, psychologist John Money conducted a twin study in which a jew baby, Bruce Reimer, with a damaged penis was raised as a girl, while his brother, Brian, was raised as a boy. Money instructed the parents to raise their children to believe that Bruce was really a girl called “Brenda.” For over a decade, the experiment was lauded as a milestone in sexology — to preserve the boys’ anonymity, it was called the “Joan/John” study — and its reported success was used as a precedent for countless surgeries on children with disorders of sex development. But, decades later, a follow-up revealed that the Reimer brothers had been deeply unhappy with their treatment by Money and Bruce had reverted to his jew identity in his teens, taking the name “David.” After going public, David and his mother (whom he forgave, believing her to have been loving but misled) appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show in 2000:
Mrs. Reimer: During the whole journey of trying to create a feminine being, there were doubts along the way. But I couldn’t afford to contemplate them because I couldn’t afford to be wrong. I couldn’t have faced the alternative.
Winfrey: And the alternative being what? That you’d made this horrible mistake?
Mrs. Reimer: Yes.
Winfrey: ’Cause then what could you do?
Mrs. Reimer: Right.
After a lifetime suffering from depression, the brothers — first Brian, then David — killed themselves. In a “tragic update,” printed in a revised edition of As Nature Made Him, an investigative book on the Reimer story, John Colapinto recalls the moment when David’s father called him to say that David had shot himself: “I cannot say it was a complete surprise.” As more journalists shared the true nature of Money’s experiment, and as more and more intersex victims of unnecessary medical interventions came forward, the medical profession revised its standards with regard to children with disorders of sex development (in particular those with genital irregularities) so as to leave these children’s fully functioning bodies alone. But what about gender-confused children?
Today, it takes a bold and distinguished person to state the obvious answer to that question. One such person is Dr. C. Alan Hopewell, the senior clinical neuropsychologist in the state of Texas, whose decades of expertise in treating children of James’s age led Younger to engage him as an expert witness.
At James’s age, children “can’t make rational decisions” and are “very easily influenced,” Hopewell stated in his September deposition for the trial. He also said that this “settled science,” pioneered by psychologist Jean Piaget, is “at the level of Galileo’s statement of how the Earth revolves around the sun.” While a child can express preferences — “Do I want the M&M or do I want the mushroom?” — a seven-year-old is incapable of decisions of the magnitude of trying to “change your sex,” which, at any rate, “you can’t do.”
Georgulas testified that she felt justified in socially transitioning James into Luna by her own experience as a pediatrician, by researching the medical literature on the subject, and by the support she has received online from similarly situated parents.
In July, her lawyer, Kim Meaders, made the following opening remarks at a hearing in a Texas district court:
"This case is about a little six-year-old girl. It’s a little girl who knows she is a girl. It’s a girl who wears cute, frilly, girlie clothes. She plays with super girlie bears and dolls and toys. . . . [Her] self-portraits of herself show herself with big, huge, ginormous eyelashes and hair down to the floor. . . . And the father in this case wants boys. He has twins, and the reality is, Luna, at birth, was given the gender identity as a boy, but she completely and totally identifies as a girl now."
But again, by all objective standards, and as acknowledged by the impartial court-appointed amicus attorney, it is “clear” that James Younger is not a girl but a boy. He is a little boy regardless of whether he knows he is a boy. A little boy with a penis — which is referred to by Georgulas herself in one email to Younger: “Luna has gotten a bug bite on the right side of her penis” — testes, a Y chromosome. He is a little boy regardless of how “ginormous” the eyelashes are in his “self-portrait” and irrespective of his wardrobe choices, however “cute” and “frilly.” Of course, the possibility exists that James is a little boy who fits the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria (more about that in a moment).
On October 17, observers in the courtroom reported seeing someone sitting by Georgulas’s attorneys, passing notes and advising counsel. She was Dr. Johanna Olson-Kennedy, the medical director of the largest transgender-youth clinic in the United States, one of four directors of a multi-million-dollar National Institutes of Health (i.e., taxpayer-funded) experimental study on early intervention in transgender youth, and one of the most prominent clinical activists in the United States.
It is difficult to say, exactly, how many transgender-youth clinics there are in the United States today. In 2006, there were none. But in 2014 the Human Rights Campaign, a gay and transgender lobby group, counted more than 40. It is possible, if not likely, that there are significantly more than that. Olson-Kennedy’s clinic in Los Angeles saw 80 young people, aged between four and 24, in 2009, and over 1,000 in 2019. The latter number comes from a Reuters report. By a crude estimate, then, there could be tens of thousands of young people being treated at such clinics. But we don’t know.
The Centers for Disease Control says that 2 percent of American high-school students (around 300,000 adolescents) identify as transgender. Does that mean gender dysphoria is on the rise? Not necessarily. One board-certified psychiatrist, a graduate of a top medical school with over 15 years’ experience treating adolescents, told me that the numbers seem “highly inflated.” This is partly because gender clinics, like many specialist clinics, are essentially businesses with an interest in selling a uniform diagnosis. In his own practice, he prefers to “talk big-picture first” and not take a child’s declared gender identity at face value.
“If a patient comes in and tells me, ‘I’m having a strong desire to be the opposite sex,’ my next question is why? What does that mean? What’s your understanding of being the opposite sex? Are you nervous about being your own sex? Do you have anxiety?” He also considers whether his patient might be on the autism spectrum, which is disproportionately common among those with gender dysphoria. Often, through talk therapy, something else comes out — for example, that a girl is petrified about her menstrual cycle, or a boy about having homosexual inclinations and being bullied by his peers. The psychiatrist says that social anxiety is an underlying factor in most of these cases.
In his deposition in the James Younger case, Dr. Hopewell stated that “you’re not going to cut off [healthy] body parts unless something’s wrong with your thinking.” But Dr. Olson-Kennedy — again, the head of the largest transgender-youth clinic in the United States and one of the leaders of a publicly funded NIH study — took a rather different view in her own deposition. Younger’s lawyer, Logan Odeneal, asked Olson-Kennedy whether it is safe or ethical to remove healthy breast tissue from adolescent girls as young as 13, as has been recommended at her clinic.
Odeneal: Well, if you remove the breasts from a young woman, she will never be able to lactate or to breastfeed an infant; is that correct?
Olson-Kennedy: Well, I, I don’t advocate removal for breast tissue from young women. I advocate for chest reconstruction in young jews.
Odeneal: Well haven’t you referred girls to have the chest surgery from your clinic?
Olson-Kennedy: They’re, they’re, they’re not girls. They’re not girls. They don’t identify as girls. So I have referred people who identify as transmasculine or as boys or young jews for surgery, yes.
Odeneal: But do their birth certificates identify them as girls?
Olson-Kennedy: Sometimes, and sometimes they’ve had their gender marker changed on their birth certificate.
Odeneal: How many patients have you referred for the chest surgery?
Olson-Kennedy: Probably about 200.
When Odeneal asked whether the procedure involved the removal of “healthy” breast tissue, Olson-Kennedy explained that she takes “issue with the word ‘healthy’” since it’s not healthy “if it’s creating a lot of distress in their life.” Elsewhere, she told an audience, “If you want breasts at a later point in your life you can go and get them.”
The National Institutes of Health study on early intervention in transgender youth that Olson-Kennedy oversees along with three others involves multiple sites and hundreds of participants. In a talk at an activist-clinician conference in September of this year, she explained that the study was “observational” and didn’t have a control group (a group of participants receiving the standard, accepted treatment for the purposes of comparison). “When we first put this grant into the NIH five years ago, they came back with primary concern that we didn’t have an untreated control group. Yeah, so we’re not going to have an untreated control group, I’m warning you right now,” she said, prompting audience laughter.
Presumably, Olson-Kennedy’s reasoning for not having a control group is that it is unethical for a physician to treat (or not treat) a patient in a way he considers not to be in the patient’s best interests. Olson-Kennedy told Younger’s lawyer, Odeneal, that the reason this study does not have a control group is “because not treating people with gender dysphoria who are seeking treatment is unethical practice.” Does this mean she considers treatments other than gender affirmation “not treating” patients? If so, to repeat, the evidence for gender affirmation is unclear and unconvincing, while the majority of children who have been managed under a watchful-waiting or talk-therapy strategy have apparently improved. The latter is the clinical standard for which there is the most substantial, albeit imperfect, evidence of effectiveness and safety. I have to speculate here because, although Olson-Kennedy agreed to an interview last summer, she twice failed to dial in at the appointed time to the conference number her office had emailed me. Her office has since gone dark.
Ordinarily, when investigating complicated and life-altering treatments emerging in medicine (and especially pediatrics), investigators must follow a series of steps: First, the researchers must demonstrate to their institution’s Institutional Review Board that their treatment is credible and ethical. Second, the patients and parents of children must sign an informed-consent paper, with emphasis on the word “informed,” especially if the treatment is experimental. Third, the group of patients receiving the treatment must be paired with a control group that is treated in more standard fashion.
But why is the NIH facilitating this study on early intervention among trans youth in the first place? What do they hope to learn? What kind of information about risks has been given to parents and children? These are some of the questions to which I might have found answers if the relevant documents, which a concerned medical doctor obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, had not been so heavily redacted, most notably in the sections related to informed consent. Does the NIH, or do those in charge of this study, have something to hide? In a recent “listening session” held by the NIH’s Sexual and Gender Minority Research Office, one activist inquired into whether it might be possible for the NIH to extend the study “for another five years so that we can get even more longitudinal data,” which would be “helpful” to show courts “that the affirming parent is actually acting in the best interest of the child,” since there has been a recent “uptick in custody disputes involving transgender youth.”
A study published in 2017 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine entitled “Age Is Just a Number” endeavored to investigate “WPATH-affiliated surgeons’ views, experiences, and attitudes toward performing vaginoplasty,” i.e., castration, inversion of the penis, and dilation of a cavity to form a pseudo-vaginal canal, “on transgender minors in the United States.” (WPATH is the World Professional Association for Transgender Health.) Of 20 surgeons who were interviewed, eleven reported having done the procedure “1 to 20” times on children under age 18. The youngest patient was 15.
One surgeon gave an indication as to why this might be a bad idea. He or she described the new clinical landscape as a “new Wild West” where “a bunch of solo practitioners, basically cowboys or cowgirls who kind of build their little house, advertise and suck people in.” In the U.K., the Times of London has covered a whistleblower scandal at Britain’s main clinic for gender-confused youth, from which multiple clinicians have resigned, citing dangerous, experimental, and inadequate care.
The authors of the Journal of Sexual Medicine study also remarked on “the legal impossibility to obtain informed consent from the underage patient.” But that isn’t the only problem with relying on the feelings of minors.
Many of these underage patients are already damaged and vulnerable. At the Gender Infinity Conference (an “Affirming Space to Empower Gender Diverse Individuals”) in 2015 in Texas, Olson-Kennedy told an audience that “a not-insignificant” number of young people at her clinic “have actually done sex economy, sex work, for a place to live or something to eat,” and that “a lot experience homelessness, precarious housing, and have been in foster care.” This is consistent with her published research. A study from 2015 included “transgender” youths who had prostituted themselves, been homeless, and abused drugs; a follow-up study in 2018 failed to account for 41 percent of the participants, meaning that no one knows what has happened to them.
Perhaps having worked with prostitutes and homeless and drug-using youth has made Olson-Kennedy sensitive to the importance of mental-health screening for patients before they undertake life-altering hormone interventions or surgery. But on Facebook, she once wrote that the “uptick in insurance companies asking for mental health NOTES and signed consents prior to covering blockers [is] ridiculous!!” Still, she is considered a leader in the field. Her method is now finding popularity in the U.K. She was recently brought there on a teaching fellowship by the University of Bristol and invited by the British gender-youth charity Mermaids, which promotes child sex-change treatments, to partake in a Facebook livestream event titled “If Your Child Thinks They’re Transgender, They Probably Are.” This event also featured Helen Webberley, a British doctor who, the Times of London reported, was criminally convicted “for operating an unlicensed clinic” that “charged between £75 and £150 an hour to prescribe . . . sex-change hormones, which cause irreversible bodily changes and permanent loss of sexual function.” Her husband, Mike Webberley, also a doctor, was similarly suspended and banned from practicing medicine in the U.K. after a tribunal found that “his work for three young trans patients fell below the standards of care expected of a registered doctor.” The Webberleys have now moved to Spain, where their private clinic “will continue to dispense drugs online from its new base in Malaga,” the Times of London reports.
In response to the James Younger case, the Pediatric Endocrine Society, which has a membership of 1,300 doctors, distributed a statement “against public discourse that risks the well-being of transgender and gender diverse youth and their families.” It wrote that “this concerns a 7-year-old transgender girl in Texas whose mother (a pediatrician) is supportive of her gender identity but whose father is not.” The statement continued:
"The parents are involved in a custody battle that has drawn significant media attention. The father has reached out to conservative groups and lawmakers who are spreading misinformation about care of gender variant youth and are threatening to introduce legislation prohibiting the use of puberty blockers in transgender patients."
This is simply ill-disguised advocacy, but it is nonetheless of a piece with a recent policy statement on “transgender and gender diverse children and adolescents” from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Fewer than 30 committee members at the AAP, which represents 67,000 doctors, approved the statement, written by a doctor with (according to the PubMed database) no published papers in gender dysphoria. It favors “affirming” any “child’s self-expressed identity,” disparages watchful waiting, and suggests that therapies designed to reconcile a child with his or her body are “outside the mainstream of traditional medical practice.”
In a rebuttal that has completed peer review and will appear in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, James Cantor, the Canadian clinical psychologist, who describes himself as “openly gay” and politically liberal (not that it ought to be relevant), explains:
"Although almost all clinics and professional associations in the world use what’s called the watchful waiting approach to helping gender diverse (GD) children, the AAP statement instead rejected that consensus, endorsing gender affirmation as the only acceptable approach. Remarkably, not only did the AAP statement fail to include any of the actual outcomes literature on such cases, but it also misrepresented the contents of its citations, which repeatedly said the very opposite of what AAP attributed to them."
Cantor told me that the AAP policy statement could be interpreted as “malpractice writ large” and that it “calls into question their entire decision-making process.” Kenneth Zucker, a clinical psychologist and expert in youth gender dysphoria whose work is among the most cited in the field and who has over 40 years of clinical and research experience, told me that the AAP’s advice is “so fundamentally flawed that one wouldn’t even know . . . where to start.”
How can this be possible? What or who is influencing these professional committees that advise and represent hundreds of thousands of doctors in the United States? During the James Younger trial, this question was answered during the deposition of Dr. Hopewell by Georgulas’s lawyer. The lawyer, Kim Meaders, asks whether Hopewell is familiar with the American Academy of Pediatrics’ stance on “supporting and treating transgender individuals” and that of the American Psychological Association, which also favors “gender affirmation.” He says that he is familiar but disagrees.
Meaders then asks how he can possibly disagree if he is a fellow of the American Psychological Association. Hopewell explains that, while “most of the real doctors are out earning a living working,” many of those who run the boards do so for political reasons: “Just because an organization takes a stand really doesn’t have anything to do with either science or the membership of the body itself.”
Besides subjecting individual children to an ordeal, the gender-affirmation approach may be contributing to a social pathology. Lisa Littman, an assistant professor at Brown University, wrote a 2018 paper in the science journal PLOS ONE that reported the new phenomenon of teen girls’ suddenly identifying as boys — despite having no prior history of gender dysphoria — as a possible “peer and social contagion.”
The pertinence of Littman’s observation is shown in the number of children reporting gender dysphoria to Britain’s largest gender youth clinic, a public institution. It is now around 2,500 a year. In 2009, it was fewer than 100 a year. There has been a 42-fold increase in the number of females at the clinic in the last decade.
A mother is now taking legal action against the clinic in an attempt to prevent it from giving puberty-blocking drugs to her 15-year-old autistic daughter. Her claim is that the clinic misinforms families and puts highly vulnerable children at risk. A former therapist at the clinic, who resigned for ethical reasons, has become a whistleblower, saying that staff in the clinic were under “huge pressure” to rush children into medical treatment after substandard evaluation, according to the Times of London.
Sky News reported that “hundreds of young transgender people are seeking help to return to their original sex.” The report focused on a woman, Charlie Evans, 28, who was born female but identified as a jew for nearly ten years before returning to her original identity, a process that is called “detransitioning.” Similar stories of regret are receiving significant media attention in the U.K. Marcus Evans, the former governor of the British National Health Service’s London-based adolescent and adult clinical services, which oversees the largest gender youth clinic in the country, warned that “the treatment of gender-dysphoric youth has become highly politicised and, in many ways, operates outside good medical practice.” Evans handed in his resignation after 35 years, citing the gender clinic’s “woeful” care and saying it was “not fit for purpose.”
As with the clinicians who resigned from the London clinic, Lisa Littman, who was first to research the social contagion in teen girls, recently told me of her serious concerns about whether those being diagnosed with gender dysphoria actually have an underlying issue such as “trauma, sexual assault, homophobia, homophobic bullying, misogyny, or a mental-health condition.”
But both inside and outside the profession, clinical activists are ruthless in pursuit of their aims, and they accept no criticism. At the website of Psychology Today, a Harvard psychiatrist and medical researcher, Jack Turban, recently published a summary of some research that he said showed a link between “conversion therapy” — by which he means therapies geared at helping a person psychologically accept his biological sex — and suicide. Medical professionals posted their critiques of his work, suggesting the studies were fundamentally and dangerously flawed in their methodology and conclusions, but Psychology Today appears to have deleted their comments.
Sharon Dunski-Vermont, a pediatrician and member of the clinical advocacy group USPATH (U.S. Professional Association for Transgender Health) and the American Academy of Pediatrics who has written an op-ed for the Washington Post about her female-to-jew transgender teenager, has posted misinformation elsewhere. In a Facebook group with over 8,000 members for parents transitioning their children, one parent expressed concerns about a report that an eight-year-old had been included in the NIH study’s cross-sex-hormone cohort. “NONE of this is true,” Dunski-Vermont stated. “We start Puberty blockers in early puberty, which at times could be 8-9 years old but NEVER cross gender hormones.”
A group administrator then disabled further comments, offering the explanation that “this story falls into the realm of flat-earthers and holocaust-deniers and is triggering to many.” However, a 2017 progress report for the NIH study, which a doctor obtained through a freedom-of-information request, did state that “the minimum age for the cross-sex hormone cohort inclusion criteria was decreased from 13 to 8 to ensure that a potential participant . . . could be eligible for cross-sex hormones.” In such a new and exploratory field of medicine, certainty and censorship are a dangerous combination.
To give an idea of the vulnerability of the children in this Facebook group, consider that one parent posted a picture of a teen girl with Down syndrome who appears to have had her breasts removed. The parent asks to connect with the parents of other Down, trans children. Another picture shows a boy, seeming no older than six years old and wearing a dress, with his arm in a cast. His mother explains that her ex-husband (who was ambivalent about the child’s gender transition) “broke her arm.” Another mother describes in detail how her ex-partner sexually abused her twelve-year-old daughter, who now thinks she is a transgender boy. The mother writes, “My question is (and I don’t know if this is allowed), has anyone else been through this? I feel like his dysphoria may have been amplified” by the sexual abuse.
James Younger was first diagnosed as having gender dysphoria by his pediatrician. The diagnosis was confirmed by a “solution-focused therapist” serving the LGBT community at Rainbow Counseling, in Texas, and by the GENECIS gender clinic, which specializes in medical interventions for gender-confused youth. In his psychological assessment of Jeffrey Younger, Albritton, the custody evaluator, noted that James showed no signs of distress when dressed as a boy or as a girl.
Distress is one of the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria. Yet in his assessment of James, Albritton noted that while James “is consistently described and observed as playful, kind and creative,” he is “clearly at risk for social and psychological difficulties and challenges given his gender dysphoria.” In an interview, James told Albritton that “he is a boy at his father’s house and a girl at his mother’s house.” His mother brought him to interviews with Albritton dressed in high heels and stick-on earrings. His father brought him dressed in boy’s clothes and “appropriately groomed.”
Strikingly, however, Albritton’s takeaway was that “it is difficult, if not impossible, to entirely ferret out pressure from his father to conform with jew ideals.” He noted that Jeffrey Younger’s profile fits that of someone experiencing a “disconnection from reality,” as well as “psychotic symptoms of paranoia.” He reported that Anne Georgulas “presented as a friendly, outgoing woman” who “appears to be aware of her children’s needs and attempts to advance appropriate development.” Albritton recommended that James be allowed to continue socially transitioning.
Though the jury was swayed by such arguments, Judge Cooks ultimately decided that both parents were fit to parent and they should work out James’s medical care between them. But the deeper issue is that it’s impossible to sensibly adjudicate such cases when misinformation is being enshrined systematically in the medical and legal establishments and the mainstream media are failing so dismally to report on it accurately.
I am currently in contact with parents across America and Europe who face circumstances similar to Jeffrey Younger’s and whose extensive documentation I have reviewed. One father in Minnesota has been denied a say in his ten-year-old autistic son’s medical care. This boy’s mother is taking him to a gender therapist who has told the boy that he is not only a transgender female but a lesbian.
The Kelsey Coalition, a new nonpartisan grassroots organization, has collected testimony from parents of children identifying as transgender who have been harmed. Some of these parents are in custody battles in closed-door trials, such as two gay parents who are having a fight over a child the same age as James Younger and in which the contested claims are almost identical. Others have had their children placed in foster care because they refused to consent to medicalizing their child’s treatment. Many parents are afraid to talk to the media for fear of being reported to child-protective services or held in contempt of court gag orders.
And so it goes. In a better world, James Younger wouldn’t be the object of a tug-of-war between two parents. But it is beyond cynicism to accept that the legal and medical establishments may forcibly try to change a child’s sex, against his interests, without the consent of both his parents, and in spite of the scientific evidence.
Editor’s Note: This article has been updated since its publication in print.
MADELEINE KEARNS is a William F. Buckley Fellow in Political Journalism at the National Review Institute. She is from Glasgow, Scotland, and is a trained singer.
submitted by juiceybot to MenAreJews [link] [comments]


2019.05.07 11:07 LonrSpankster ACS May 7th, 2019 Adam Ray, Lynette Carolla, and Eat Your Feelings

Download/Listen: https://adamcarolla.com/blogs/podcast-archive/adam-ray-lynette-carolla-and-eat-your-feelings
Summary:
At the top of the show, Adam shares a couple stories from backstage at Gordon Ramsay’s show in Las Vegas. The guys also talk about eating Gordon’s food, a bizarre judgment call Adam made about a woman with a stroller, and Gina’s parking lot circus experience. Adam then brings up the latest stories of faux-outrage. Lynette Carolla is in studio next, and she introduces a new Carolla Drinks package called ‘Monthly Nut’. After that, Gina shares the latest ‘Eat Your Feelings’ recipe.
Adam Ray is in studio next, and the guys talk about performing at The Punchline in San Francisco. They also chat about Adam Ray’s writing partner getting sober, and joke about a new bully-themed reality TV show. Later, Gina reads news stories about the birth of the royal baby, Amy Schumer’s strange gender reveal, and a Starbucks coffee cup in the middle of a Game of Thrones scene. Adam then plays a clip from Alyssa Milano’s podcast, and the guys watch Adam Sandler’s tribute to Chris Farley. Other news stories including Kim Kardashian freeing another inmate and Oprah Winfrey leaving 60 Minutes. As the show wraps up, Adam launches into a hilarious Dr. Phil impersonation, and everyone talks about millennials not liking cash.
Listen to Read the Room on iTunes and Spotify and get tickets to see Adam at AdamRayComedy.com, get more info on Adam by following him on Twitter @AdamRay
Also visit http://carolladrinks.com, and follow Lynette on Twitter @LynetteCarolla.
PLEASE SUPPORT TODAY’S SPONSORS! Medmen.com enter Adam Carolla at Checkout
BlueApron.com/ADAM
Castrol Edge: Titanium strong for maximum engine performance
23AndMe.com/ADAM
CustomInk.com/ADAM
Links:
Chris Farley Song - SNL
submitted by LonrSpankster to Carolla [link] [comments]


2019.04.07 06:24 The_Web_Of_Slime Mockingbird X.0

Imagine if there was one desk that all stories could cross so that, at 4am, a media plan could be decided upon and disseminated where all news outlets coordinated to set the goalposts of debate and hyper focused on specific issues to drive a narrative to control how you vote and how you spend money; where Internet shills were given marching orders in tandem to what was shown on television, printed in newspapers and spread throughout articles on the World Wide Web.
https://i.imgur.com/Elnci0M.png
In the past, we had Operation Mockingbird, where the program was supremely confident that it could control stories around the world, even in instructions to cover up any story about a possible “Yeti” sighting, should it turn out they were real.
https://i.imgur.com/121LXqy.png
If, in 1959, the government was confident in its ability to control a story about a Yeti, then what is their level of confidence in controlling stories, today?
https://i.imgur.com/jQFVYew.png
https://i.imgur.com/ZKMYGJj.png
In fact, we have a recent example of a situation similar to the Yeti. When Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch met on the TARMAC to spike the Hillary email investigation, the FBI was so confident it wasn’t them, that their entire focus was finding the leaker, starting with searching within the local PD. We have documentation that demonstrates the state of mind of the confidence the upper levels of the FBI have when dealing with the media.
https://i.imgur.com/IbjDOkI.png
https://i.imgur.com/NH86ozU.png
The marriage between mainstream media and government is a literal one and this arrangement is perfectly legal.
https://i.imgur.com/OAd4vpf.png
But, this problem extends far beyond politics; the private sector, the scientific community, even advice forums are shilled heavily. People are paid to cause anxiety, recommend people break up and otherwise sow depression and nervousness. This is due to a correlating force that employs “systems psychodynamics”, focusing on “tension centered” strategies to create “organizational paradoxes” by targeting people’s basic assumptions about the world around them to create division and provide distraction.
https://i.imgur.com/6OEWYFN.png
https://i.imgur.com/iG4sdD4.png
https://i.imgur.com/e89Rx6B.png
https://i.imgur.com/uotm9Cg.png
https://i.imgur.com/74wt9tD.png
In this day and age, it is even easier to manage these concepts and push a controlled narrative from a central figure than it has ever been. Allen & Co is a “boutique investment firm” that managed the merger between Disney and Fox and operates as an overseeing force for nearly all media and Internet shill armies, while having it’s fingers in sports, social media, video games, health insurance, etc.
https://i.imgur.com/zlpBh3c.png
https://i.imgur.com/e5ZvFFJ.png
Former director of the CIA and Paul Brennan’s former superior George Tenet, holds the reigns of Allen & Co. The cast of characters involves a lot of the usual suspects.
https://i.imgur.com/3OlrX7G.png
In 1973, Allen & Company bought a stake in Columbia Pictures. When the business was sold in 1982 to Coca-Cola, it netted a significant profit. Since then, Herbert Allen, Jr. has had a place on Coca-Cola's board of directors.
Since its founding in 1982, the Allen & Company Sun Valley Conference has regularly drawn high-profile attendees such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Rupert Murdoch, Barry Diller, Michael Eisner, Oprah Winfrey, Robert Johnson, Andy Grove, Richard Parsons, and Donald Keough.
Allen & Co. was one of ten underwriters for the Google initial public offering in 2004. In 2007, Allen was sole advisor to Activision in its $18 billion merger with Vivendi Games. In 2011, the New York Mets hired Allen & Co. to sell a minority stake of the team. That deal later fell apart. In November 2013, Allen & Co. was one of seven underwriters on the initial public offering of Twitter. Allen & Co. was the adviser of Facebook in its $19 billion acquisition of WhatsApp in February 2014.
In 2015, Allen & Co. was the advisor to Time Warner in its $80 billion 2015 merger with Charter Communications, AOL in its acquisition by Verizon, Centene Corporation in its $6.8 billion acquisition of Health Net, and eBay in its separation from PayPal.
In 2016, Allen & Co was the lead advisor to Time Warner in its $108 billion acquisition by AT&T, LinkedIn for its merger talks with Microsoft, Walmart in its $3.3 billion purchase of Jet.com, and Verizon in its $4.8 billion acquisition of Yahoo!. In 2017, Allen & Co. was the advisor to Chewy.com in PetSmart’s $3.35 billion purchase of the online retailer.
Allen & Co throws the Sun Valley Conference every year where you get a glimpse of who sows up. Harvey Weinstein, though a past visitor, was not invited last year.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_%26_Company_Sun_Valley_Conference
Previous conference guests have included Bill and Melinda Gates, Warren and Susan Buffett, Tony Blair, Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Allen alumnus and former Philippine Senator Mar Roxas, Google Chairman Eric Schmidt, Quicken Loans Founder & Chairman Dan Gilbert, Yahoo! co-founder Jerry Yang, financier George Soros, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, Media Mogul Rupert Murdoch, eBay CEO Meg Whitman, BET founder Robert Johnson, Time Warner Chairman Richard Parsons, Nike founder and chairman Phil Knight, Dell founder and CEO Michael Dell, NBA player LeBron James, Professor and Entrepreneur Sebastian Thrun, Governor Chris Christie, entertainer Dan Chandler, Katharine Graham of The Washington Post, Diane Sawyer, InterActiveCorp Chairman Barry Diller, Linkedin co-founder Reid Hoffman, entrepreneur Wences Casares, EXOR and FCA Chairman John Elkann, Sandro Salsano from Salsano Group, and Washington Post CEO Donald E. Graham, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, and Oprah Winfrey.
https://i.imgur.com/VZ0OtFa.png
George Tenet, with the reigns of Allen & Co in his hands, is able to single-handedly steer the entire Mockingbird apparatus from cable television to video games to Internet shills from a singular location determining the spectrum of allowable debate. Not only are they able to target people’s conscious psychology, they can target people’s endocrine systems with food and pornography; where people are unaware, on a conscious level, of how their moods and behavior are being manipulated.
https://i.imgur.com/mA3MzTB.png
"The problem with George Tenet is that he doesn't seem to care to get his facts straight. He is not meticulous. He is willing to make up stories that suit his purposes and to suppress information that does not."
"Sadly but fittingly, 'At the Center of the Storm' is likely to remind us that sometimes what lies at the center of a storm is a deafening silence."
https://i.imgur.com/YHMJnnP.png
Tenet joined President-elect Bill Clinton's national security transition team in November 1992. Clinton appointed Tenet Senior Director for Intelligence Programs at the National Security Council, where he served from 1993 to 1995. Tenet was appointed Deputy Director of Central Intelligence in July 1995. Tenet held the position as the DCI from July 1997 to July 2004. Citing "personal reasons," Tenet submitted his resignation to President Bush on June 3, 2004. Tenet said his resignation "was a personal decision and had only one basis—in fact, the well-being of my wonderful family—nothing more and nothing less. In February 2008, he became a managing director at investment bank Allen & Company.
https://i.imgur.com/JnGHqOS.png
We have the documentation that demonstrates what these people could possibly be doing with all of these tools of manipulation at their fingertips.
The term for it is “covert political action” for which all media put before your eyes is used to serve as a veneer… a reality TV show facade of a darker modus operandum.
https://i.imgur.com/vZC4D29.png
https://www.cia.gov/library/center-for-the-study-of-intelligence/kent-csi/vol36no3/html/v36i3a05p_0001.htm
It is now clear that we are facing an implacable enemy whose avowed objective is world domination by whatever means and at whatever costs. There are no rules in such a game. Hitherto acceptable norms of human conduct do not apply. If the US is to survive, longstanding American concepts of "fair play" must be reconsidered. We must develop effective espionage and counterespionage services and must learn to subvert, sabotage and destroy our enemies by more clever, more sophisticated means than those used against us. It may become necessary that the American people be made acquainted with, understand and support this fundamentally repugnant philosophy.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/3340677/t/cia-operatives-shadowy-war-force/
Intelligence historian Jeffrey T. Richelson says the S.A. has covered a variety of missions. The group, which recently was reorganized, has had about 200 officers, divided among several groups: the Special Operations Group; the Foreign Training Group, which trains foreign police and intelligence officers; the Propaganda and Political Action Group, which handles disinformation; the Computer Operations Group, which handles information warfare; and the Proprietary Management Staff, which manages whatever companies the CIA sets up as covers for the S.A.
Scientology as a CIA Political Action Group – “It is a continuing arrangement…”: https://mikemcclaughry.wordpress.com/2015/08/25/scientology-as-a-cia-political-action-group-it-is-a-continuing-arrangement/
…Those operations we inaugurated in the years 1955-7 are still secret, but, for present purposes, I can say all that’s worth saying about them in a few sentences – after, that is, I offer these few words of wisdom. The ‘perfect’ political action operation is, by definition, uneventful. Nothing ‘happens’ in it. It is a continuing arrangement, neither a process nor a series of actions proceeding at a starting point and ending with a conclusion.
CIA FBI NSA Personnel Active in Scientology: https://i.imgur.com/acu2Eti.png
When you consider the number of forces that can be contained within a single “political action group” in the form on a “boutique investment firm,” where all sides of political arguments are predetermined by a selected group of actors who have been planted, compromised or leveraged in some way in order to control the way they spin their message.
https://i.imgur.com/tU4MD4S.png
The evidence of this coordinated effort is overwhelming and the “consensus” that you see on TV, in sports, in Hollywood, in the news and on the Internet is fabricated.
Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favour is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favour is slowly 'seeded in.'
Thus the uninformed reader will most likely develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
When you find yourself feeling like common sense and common courtesy aren’t as common as they ought to be, it is because there is a massive psychological operation controlled from the top down to ensure that as many people as possible are caught in a “tension based” mental loop that is inflicted on them by people acting with purpose to achieve goals that are not in the interest of the general population, but a method of operating in secret and corrupt manner without consequences.
Notice that Jeffrey Katzenberg, of Disney, who is intertwined with Allen & Co funds the Young Turks. He is the perfect example of the relationship between media and politics.
Katzenberg has also been involved in politics. With his active support of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, he was called "one of Hollywood's premier political kingmakers and one of the Democratic Party's top national fundraisers."
With cash from Jeffrey Katzenberg, The Young Turks looks to grow paid subscribers:
https://digiday.com/media/with-cash-from-katzenberg-the-young-turks-look-to-grow-paid-subscribers/
Last week, former DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg’s new mobile entertainment company WndrCo was part of a $20 million funding round in TYT Network, which oversees 30 news and commentary shows covering politics, pop culture, sports and more. This includes the flagship “The Young Turks” program that streams live on YouTube every day. Other investors in the round included venture capital firms Greycroft Partners, E.ventures and 3L Capital, which led the round. This brings total funding for Young Turks to $24 million.
How Hollywood's Political Donors Are Changing Strategies for the Trump Era:
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/hollywood-political-donors-are-changing-strategy-post-trump-1150545
Hollywood activism long has been depicted as a club controlled by a handful of powerful white men: Katzenberg, Spielberg, Lear, David Geffen, Haim Saban and Bob Iger are the names most often mentioned. But a new generation of power brokers is ascendant, including J.J. Abrams and his wife, Katie McGrath, cited for their personal donations and bundling skills; Shonda Rhimes, who held a get-out-the-vote rally at USC's Galen Center on Sept. 28 that drew 10,000 people; CAA's Darnell Strom, who has hosted events for Nevada congresswoman Jacky Rosen and Arizona congresswoman Kyrsten Sinema; and former Spotify executive Troy Carter, who held three fundraisers for Maryland gubernatorial candidate Ben Jealous (Carter also was a fundraiser for President Obama).
Soros Group Buys Viacom's DreamWorks Film Library:
https://www.forbes.com/2006/03/17/soros-viacom-dreamworks-cx_gl_0317autofacescan11.html#541a895f1f22
Viacom, after splitting off from Les Moonves Les Moonves ' CBS , still holds Paramount Pictures, and that movie studio in December agreed to acquire DreamWorks SKG, the creative shop founded by the Hollywood triumvirate of Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg (a former exec at The Walt Disney Co.). DreamWorks Animation had been spun off into a separate company.
Now it's time for Freston to make back some money--and who better to do a little business with than George Soros? The billionaire financier leads a consortium of Soros Strategic Partners LP and Dune Entertainment II LLC, which together are buying the DreamWorks library--a collection of 59 flicks, including Saving Private Ryan, Gladiator, and American Beauty.
The money you spend on media and junk food and in taxes goes to these groups who then decide how best to market at you so that they decide how you vote by creating a fake consensus to trick into thinking that you want something other than what is best for you; but will inevitably result in more money being funneled to the top, creating further separation between the super rich and the average person. The goal will be to assert creeping authoritarianism by generating outrage against policies and issues they hate. Part of manipulating your basic assumptions is also to use schadenfreude (think canned laughter on TV) against characters who support the cause that might actually do you the most good (which reaffirms and strengthens your confirmation biased along predetermined political lines).
https://i.imgur.com/PW1cRtj.png
We have a population being taught to hate socialism and love capitalism when the truth is no country is practicing either. These terms are merely disguises for political oligarchies where the collection of wealth is less about getting themselves rich and more about keeping everyone else poor.
What can you guess about the world around you if it turned out that every consensus that was forced on you was fake?
How much money would it take to make it look like 51% of the Internet believed in completely idiotic ideas? Combine shill operations with automation and AI’s, and the cost becomes a good investment relative to the return when measured in political power.
Even the people who are well intentioned and very vocal do not have to consciously be aware that they are working for a political action group. A covert political group will always prefer an unwitting tool to help push their agenda, so that they can remain in the shadows.
FDA Admonishes Drug Maker Over Kim Kardashian Instagram Endorsement https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidkroll/2015/08/11/fda-spanks-drug-maker-over-kim-kardashian-instagram-endorsement/#25174a29587b
The OSS files offer details about other agents than famous chef, Julia Child; including Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg, major league catcher Moe Berg, historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr., and actor Sterling Hayden. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/26186498/ns/us_news-security/t/julia-child-cooked-double-life-spy/
USA Today: Businesses and organizations may refer to it as a tool for competitive advantage and marketing; but make no mistake http://archive.is/37tK3
Shareblue accounts caught in /politics posting links to Shareblue without disclosing their affiliation http://archive.is/7HAkr
Psy Group developed elaborate information operations for commercial clients and political candidates around the world http://archive.is/BBblQ
Top mod of /Mechanical_Gifs tries to sell subreddit on ebay for 999.00 dollars. http://archive.is/kU1Ly
Shill posts picture of a dog in a hammock with the brand clearly visible without indicating that it's an ad in the title of the post http://archive.is/Mfdk9
Arstechnica: GCHQs menu of tools spreads disinformation across Internet- “Effects capabilities” allow analysts to twist truth subtly or spam relentlessly. http://arstechnica.com/security/2014/07/ghcqs-chinese-menu-of-tools-spread-disinformation-across-internet/
Samsung Electronics Fined for Fake Online Comments http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/24/samsung-electronics-fined-for-fake-online-comments/?_r=0
Discover Magazine: Researchers Uncover Twitter Bot Army That’s 350 http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2017/01/20/twitter-bot-army/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A%20DiscoverTechnology%20%28Discover%20Technology%29#.WIMl-oiLTnA
Times of Israel - The internet: Israel’s new PR battlefield http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-rise-of-digital-diplomacy-could-be-changing-israels-media-image/
Time: Social Media Manipulation? When “Indie” Bloggers and Businesses Get Cozy http://business.time.com/2013/04/22/social-media-manipulation-when-indie-bloggers-and-businesses-get-cozy/
Content-Driven Detection of Campaigns in Social Media [PDF] http://faculty.cs.tamu.edu/caverlee/pubs/lee11cikm.pdf
the law preventing them from using this in America was repealed http://foreignpolicy.com/2013/07/14/u-s-repeals-propaganda-ban-spreads-government-made-news-to-americans/
Redditor who works for a potato mailing company admits to being a shill. He shows off his 27 thousand dollars he made in /pics
http://i.imgur.com/CcTHwdS.png
Screenshot of post since it was removed. http://i.imgur.com/k9g0WF8.png
Just thought I'd contribute to this thread http://imgur.com/OpSos4u
CNN: A PR firm has revealed that it is behind two blogs that previously appeared to be created by independent supporters of Wal-Mart. The blogs Working Families for Wal-mart and subsidiary site Paid Critics are written by 3 employees of PR firm Edelman http://money.cnn.com/2006/10/20/news/companies/walmart_blogs/index.htm
Vice: Your Government Wants to Militarize Social Media to Influence Your Beliefs http://motherboard.vice.com/read/your-government-wants-to-militarize-social-media-to-influence-your-beliefs
BBC News: China's Internet spin doctors http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7783640.stm
BBC News: US plans to 'fight the net' revealed http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4655196.stm
Wall Street Journal: Turkey's Government Forms 6 http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887323527004579079151479634742?mg=reno64-wsj&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB10001424127887323527004579079151479634742.html
Fake product reviews may be pervasive http://phys.org/news/2013-07-fake-product-pervasive.html#nRlv
USA Today: The co-owner of a major Pentagon propaganda contractor publicly admitted that he was behind a series of websites used in an attempt to discredit two USA TODAY journalists who had reported on the contractor. http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/military/story/2012-05-24/Leonie-usa-today-propaganda-pentagon/55190450/1
ADWEEK: Marketing on Reddit Is Scary http://www.adweek.com/news/technology/marketing-reddit-scary-these-success-stories-show-big-potential-168278
BBC- How online chatbots are already tricking you- Intelligent machines that can pass for humans have long been dreamed of http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140609-how-online-bots-are-tricking-you
BBC news: Amazon targets 1 http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-34565631
BBC: More than four times as many tweets were made by automated accounts in favour of Donald Trump around the first US presidential debate as by those backing Hillary Clinton http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-37684418
Fake five-star reviews being bought and sold online - Fake online reviews are being openly traded on the internet
http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-43907695
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-20982985
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-20982985
Bloomberg: How to Hack an Election [and influence voters with fake social media accounts] http://www.bloomberg.com/features/2016-how-to-hack-an-election/
"Internet Reputation Management http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2008-04-30/do-reputation-management-services-work-businessweek-business-news-stock-market-and-financial-advice
Buzzfeed: Documents Show How Russia’s Troll Army Hit America http://www.buzzfeed.com/maxseddon/documents-show-how-russias-troll-army-hit-america#.ki8Mz97ly
The Rise of Social Bots http://www.cacm.acm.org/magazines/2016/7/204021-the-rise-of-social-bots/fulltext
CBC News- Canadian government monitors online forums http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/bureaucrats-monitor-online-forums-1.906351
Chicago Tribune: Nutrition for sale: How Kellogg worked with 'independent experts' to tout cereal http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-kellogg-independent-experts-cereal-20161121-story.html
DailyKos: HBGary: Automated social media management http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/02/16/945768/-UPDATED-The-HB-Gary-Email-That-Should-Concern-Us-All
Meme Warfare Center http://www.dtic.mil/dtic/tfulltext/u2/a507172.pdf
Shilling on Reddit is openly admitted to in this Forbes article http://www.forbes.com/sites/julesschroede2016/03/10/the-magic-formula-behind-going-viral-on-reddit/#1d2485b05271
Forbes: From Tinder Bots To 'Cuban Twitter' http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2014/04/17/from-tinder-bots-to-covert-social-networks-welcome-to-cognitive-hacking/#4b78e2d92a7d
Hivemind http://www.hivemind.cc/rank/shills
Huffington Post- Exposing Cyber Shills and Social Media's Underworld http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sam-fiorella/cyber-shills_b_2803801.html
The Independent: Massive British PR firm caught on video: "We've got all sorts of dark arts...The ambition is to drown that negative content and make sure that you have positive content online." They discuss techniques for managing reputations online and creating/maintaining 3rd-party blogs that seem independent. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/caught-on-camera-top-lobbyists-boasting-how-they-influence-the-pm-6272760.html
New York Times: Lifestyle Lift http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/15/technology/internet/15lift.html?_r=1&emc=eta1
New York Times: Give Yourself 5 Stars? Online http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/23/technology/give-yourself-4-stars-online-it-might-cost-you.html?src=me&ref=general
NY Times- From a nondescript office building in St. Petersburg http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/magazine/the-agency.html?_r=1
NY Times: Effort to Expose Russia’s ‘Troll Army’ Draws Vicious Retaliation http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/31/world/europe/russia-finland-nato-trolls.html?_r=1
PBS Frontline Documentary - Generation Like http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/film/generation-like/
Gamers promote gaming-gambling site on youtube by pretending to hit jackpot without disclosing that they own the site. They tried to retroactively write a disclosure covering their tracks http://www.pcgamer.com/csgo-lotto-investigation-uncovers-colossal-conflict-of-interest/
Raw Story: CENTCOM engages bloggers http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Raw_obtains_CENTCOM_email_to_bloggers_1016.html
Raw Story: Air Force ordered software to manage army of fake virtual people http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/02/18/revealed-air-force-ordered-software-to-manage-army-of-fake-virtual-people/
Redective http://www.redective.com/?r=e&a=search&s=subreddit&t=redective&q=shills
Salon: Why Reddit moderators are censoring Glenn Greenwald’s latest news story on shills http://www.salon.com/2014/02/28/why_reddit_moderators_are_censoring_glenn_greenwalds_latest_bombshell_partne
The Atlantic: Kim Kardashian was paid to post a selfie on Instagram and Twitter advertising a pharmaceutical product. Sent to 42 million followers on Instagram and 32 million on Twitter http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/09/fda-drug-promotion-social-media/404563/
WAR.COM: THE INTERNET AND PSYCHOLOGICAL OPERATIONS http://www.theblackvault.com/documents/ADA389269.pdf
The Guardian: Internet Astroturfing http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/libertycentral/2010/dec/13/astroturf-libertarians-internet-democracy
The Guardian: Israel ups the stakes in the propaganda war http://www.theguardian.com/media/2006/nov/20/mondaymediasection.israel
Operation Earnest Voice http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2011/ma17/us-spy-operation-social-networks
The Guardian: British army creates team of Facebook warriors http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/31/british-army-facebook-warriors-77th-brigade
The Guardian: US military studied how to influence Twitter [and Reddit] users in Darpa-funded research [2014] http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jul/08/darpa-social-networks-research-twitter-influence-studies
The Guardian: Chinese officials flood the Chinese internet with positive social media posts to distract their population http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/may/20/chinese-officials-create-488m-social-media-posts-a-year-study-finds
Times of Israel: Israeli government paying bilingual students to spread propaganda online primarily to international communities without having to identify themselves as working for the government. "The [student] union will operate computer rooms for the project...it was decided to establish a permanent structure of activity on the Internet through the students at academic institutions in the country." http://www.timesofisrael.com/pmo-stealthily-recruiting-students-for-online-advocacy/
USA Today: Lord & Taylor settles FTC charges over paid Instagram posts http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2016/03/15/lord--taylor-settles-ftc-charges-over-paid-instagram-posts/81801972/
Researcher's algorithm weeds out people using multiple online accounts to spread propaganda - Based on word choice http://www.utsa.edu/today/2016/10/astroturfing.html
http://www.webinknow.com/2008/12/the-us-air-force-armed-with-social-media.html
Wired: Powered by rapid advances in artificial intelligence http://www.wired.co.uk/magazine/archive/2015/06/wired-world-2015/robot-propaganda
Wired: Clinton Staff and Volunteers Busted for Astroturfing [in 2007] http://www.wired.com/2007/12/clinton-staff-a/
Wired: Pro-Government Twitter Bots Try to Hush Mexican Activists http://www.wired.com/2015/08/pro-government-twitter-bots-try-hush-mexican-activists/
Wired: Microsoft http://www.wired.com/2015/09/ftc-machinima-microsoft-youtube/
Wired: Military Report: Secretly ‘Recruit or Hire Bloggers’ http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2008/03/report-recruit/
Wired: Air Force Releases ‘Counter-Blog’ Marching Orders http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/01/usaf-blog-respo/
Reddit Secrets https://archive.fo/NAwBx
Reddit Secrets https://archive.fo/SCWN7
Boostupvotes.com https://archive.fo/WdbYQ
"Once we isolate key people https://archive.is/PoUMo
GCHQ has their own internet shilling program https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joint_Threat_Research_Intelligence_Group
Russia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State-sponsored_Internet_sockpuppetry
US also operates in conjunction with the UK to collect and share intelligence data https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UKUSA_Agreement
Glenn Greenwald: How Covert Agents Infiltrate the Internet to Manipulate https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/02/24/jtrig-manipulation/
Glenn Greenwald: Hacking Online Polls and Other Ways British Spies Seek to Control the Internet https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/07/14/manipulating-online-polls-ways-british-spies-seek-control-internet/
Here is a direct link to your image for the benefit of mobile users https://imgur.com/OpSos4u.jpg
Reddit for iPhone https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/reddit-the-official-app/id1064216828?mt=8
Why Satoshi Nakamoto Has Gone https://medium.com/@ducktatosatoshi-nakamoto-has-gone-4cef923d7acd
What I learned selling my Reddit accounts https://medium.com/@Rob79/what-i-learned-selling-my-reddit-accounts-c5e9f6348005#.u5zt0mti3
Artificial intelligence chatbots will overwhelm human speech online; the rise of MADCOMs https://medium.com/artificial-intelligence-policy-laws-and-ethics/artificial-intelligence-chatbots-will-overwhelm-human-speech-online-the-rise-of-madcoms-e007818f31a1
How Reddit Got Huge: Tons of Fake Accounts - According to Reddit cofounder Steve Huffman https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/how-reddit-got-huge-tons-of-fake-accounts--2
Whistleblower and subsequent investigation: Paid trolls on /Bitcoin https://np.reddit.com/Bitcoin/comments/34m7yn/professional_bitcoin_trolls_exist/cqwjdlw
Confession of Hillary Shill from /SandersForPresident https://np.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/3rncq9/confession_of_hillary_shill_from/
Why do I exist? https://np.reddit.com/DirectImageLinkerBot/wiki/index
Already a direct link? https://np.reddit.com/DirectImageLinkerBot/wiki/res_links
Here's the thread. https://np.reddit.com/HailCorporate/comments/3gl8zi/that_potato_mailing_company_is_at_it_again/
/netsec talks about gaming reddit via sockpuppets and how online discourse is (easily) manipulated. https://np.reddit.com/netsec/comments/38wl43/we_used_sock_puppets_in_rnetsec_last_year_and_are
Redditor comes clean about being paid to chat on Reddit. They work to promote a politician https://np.reddit.com/offmychest/comments/3gk56y/i_get_paid_to_chat_on_reddit/
Shill whistleblower https://np.reddit.com/politics/comments/rtr6b/a_very_interesting_insight_into_how_certain/
Russian bots were active on Reddit last year https://np.reddit.com/RussiaLago/comments/76cq4d/exclusive_we_can_now_definitively_state_that/?st=j8s7535j&sh=36805d5d
The Bush and Gore campaigns of 2000 used methods similar to the Chinese government for conducting “guided discussions” in chatrooms designed to influence citizens https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/3xhoq8/til_the_advent_of_social_media_offers_new_routes/?st=j0o5xr9c&sh=3662f0dc
source paper. https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/4d3l3s/government_agents_and_their_allies_might_ente
or Click Here. https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/4kdq7n/astroturfing_information_megathread_revision_8/?st=iwlbcoon&sh=9e44591e Alleged paid shill leaks details of organization and actions.
https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/4wl19alleged_paid_shill_leaks_details_of_organization/?st=irktcssh&sh=8713f4be
Shill Confessions and Additional Information https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/5pzcnx/shill_confessions_and_additional_information/?st=izz0ga8r&sh=43621acd
Corporate and governmental manipulation of Wikipedia articles https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/5sb7pi/new_york_times_corporate_editing_of_wikipedia/?st=iyteny9b&sh=b488263f
Ex -MMA fighter and ex-police officer exposes corrupt police practices https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/6jn27s/ex_mma_fighter_and_expolice_officer_exposes/
User pushes InfoWars links on Reddit https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/6uau99/chemicals_in_reddit_are_turning_memes_gay_take/?st=j6r0g2om&sh=96f3dbf4
Some websites use shill accounts to spam their competitor's articles https://np.reddit.com/TheoryOfReddit/comments/1ja4nf/lets_talk_about_those_playing_reddit_with/?st=iunay35w&sh=d841095d
User posts video using GoPro https://np.reddit.com/videos/comments/2ejpbb/yes_it_is_true_i_boiled_my_gopro_to_get_you_this/ck0btnb/?context=3&st=j0qt0xnf&sh=ef13ba81
Fracking shill whistleblower spills the beans on Fracking Internet PR https://np.reddit.com/worldnews/comments/31wo57/the_chevron_tapes_video_shows_oil_giant_allegedly/cq5uhse?context=3
https://i.imgur.com/Q3gjFg9.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/q2uFIV0.jpg
TOP SECRET SPECIAL HANDLING NOFORN
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY
Directorate of Operations
October 16, 1964
MEMORANDUM FOR THE DIRECTOR OF THE CIA
Subject: After action report of
Operation CUCKOO (TS)
INTRODUCTION

1) Operation CUCKOO was part of the overall operation CLEANSWEEP, aimed at eliminating domestic opposition to activities undertaken by the Central Intelligence Agency's special activities division, in main regard to operation GUILLOTINE.

2) Operation CUCKOO was approved by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Department of Defense and the office of The President of the United States as a covert domestic action to be under taken within the limits of Washington D.C as outlined by Secret Executive Order 37.

3) Following the publishing of the Warren Commission, former special agent Mary Pinchot Meyer (Operation MOCKINGBIRD, Operation SIREN) also was married to Cord Meyer (Operation MOCKINGBIRD, Operation GUILLOTINE) threatened to disclose the details of several Special Activities Divisions' operations, including but not limited to, Operation SIREN and GUILLOTENE.
​1
TOP SECRET SPECIAL HANDLING NOFORN
4) It was deemed necessary by senior Directorate of Operations members to initiate Operation CUCKOO as an extension of Operation CLEANSWEEP on November 30th. After Mary Pinchot Meyer threatened to report her knowledge of Operation GUILLOTENE and the details of her work in Operation SIREN from her affair with the former President.

5) Special Activities Division was given the green light after briefing president Johnson on the situation. The situation report was forwarded to the Department of Defense and the Joint Chiefs of staff, who both approved of the parameters of the operation, as outlined under article C of secret executive order 37 (see attached copy of article).
​PLANNING STAGES
6) 8 members of the special activities division handpicked by operation lead William King Harvey began planning for the operation on October 3rd, with planned execution before October 16th.

7) The (?) of the operation was set as the neighborhood of Georgetown along the Potomac river, where the operators would observe, take note on routines, and eventually carry the operation.

8) After nothing Meyer's routines, Edward "Eddy" Reid was picked as the operation point man who would intersect Meyer on her walk on October 12th, with lead William King Harvey providing long range support if necessary from across the Chesapeake and Ohio canal (see illustration A for detailed map).

9) Edward Reid was planned to be dressed in the manner of a homeless black man, due to his resemblances to local trash collector (later found out to be Raymond Crump) who inhabits the AO and the path that Reid was planned to intersect Meyer.
2
TOP SECRET SPECIAL HANDLING NOFORN
submitted by The_Web_Of_Slime to Intelligence [link] [comments]


2019.02.10 19:26 OlemGolem How To Play A Bard

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
-Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer’s Day (Sonnet 18) by William Shakespeare-
Over time, the Bard has been met with a lot of combat improvements, making it a class that proves it can participate in combat just as well as the rest. Yet, there are still some stigmas and problems when it comes to the travelling performer. “My Bard doesn’t deal enough damage.”, “Charisma is useless.”, “Buffing the party isn’t fun.”, “All they do is play music.”, “Bards are supposed to be horndogs.” and so on. It doesn’t seem to end no matter how hard TSR and Wizards of the Coast tried. So this is where I want to give some pointers on how to get a grip on this multi-talented minstrel, to make the best of this warrior-poet, and to break beyond the stereotype of the horny troubadour.

Creation

The Bard can go in many ways when it comes to ability scores, so in order to make it easier for yourself, come up with up to three performances that your Bard excels at. Whether it is storytelling, singing, dancing, playing an instrument, juggling, acrobatics, battle choreography, or cracking jokes, adding any three to your Bard’s repertoire will help you out along the line. There is more inspiration for this in the Alternatives and Inspiration sections.
All Bards perform in one way or another and that requires confidence and social grace. A Charisma of 16 or higher is a safe bet for any situation your Bard is in. Dexterity is often added for a better ability to dodge attacks but can also help with acrobatics, fancy dance moves, or clever tricks. Having a 16 or higher in this score as well would be ideal unless you want to go a different route. Constitution can help if it’s more about enduring long performance sessions or taking hits. Strength is more for the Skalds who travel, tell tales, and fight along warriors on the open fields. Intelligence is a must for the loremasters and storytellers who can share tidbits of information that they heard from anywhere. Talking at someone might work, but with Wisdom, talking with someone would work better as it shows that you are listening or even pick up some gossip and secrets from a crowded area. (Fun fact, the Bard in AD&D had to have at least these scores: Strength 15+, Dexterity 15+, Constitution 10+, Intelligence 12+, Wisdom 15+, and Charisma 15+. Imagine having to roll these scores with the 3d6-in-order method. The Bard was supposed to be rare.)
You can’t be good at all of these scores and methods, so use the performance arts to guide you in what would make sense for your Bard. Secondly, you can look at the following aspects you can let your Bard focus on.
  • Weapon focused versus spell focused
  • Single creature versus Multiple creatures
  • Melee versus Ranged
These are not mutually exclusive sides, they are actually gradient scales. Even if you sacrifice a bit of Charisma in order to increase the physical scores (Dexterity, Strength, and Constitution), you still need spells in order to support your combat style. Otherwise, using only spells might go wrong when you have the wrong ones at hand for the situation, so you want to have a weapon with you just in case. And then there’s the case of having a weapon or spell to compensate when combat is either in the air or on the ground. It’s up to you what you want based on all the choices you made down the line.

Spells

Note I am not going to dictate, judge, or recommend specific spells or powers to you. Each edition has different spells with different effects and with the current edition, more new spells will keep coming. Any judgment on spells is irrelevant in my eyes, as some are situational or subjective to the player in effectiveness. I’ll give basic tips and broad outlines, the rest is up to you.
Versatility, serendipity, and support are the three keywords for this type of spellcaster. The Bard learns spells by travelling around the world and noticing little bits of magic everywhere she goes. This is why the Bard’s spell choices are all over the place. Some other spells are good for enhancing any performing experience so you could take your inspiration for choosing some of those. When it comes to Cantrips, choose at least one spell that affects the ability to hit. Hitting better for you or your party, or hitting worse for the opponent. If you want to focus heavily on weapons, look carefully if you need these Cantrips to increase your defensive or offensive capabilities to compensate for low combat scores.
Specializing in certain spell schools or types is not recommended for the Bard. They are meant to be generalists but their spells are oddly specific depending on the creature, situation, or components. The Bard has to perform to cast most spells; dancing, singing, and playing an instrument with two hands (the instrument is replaced with a conductor’s baton in 4e). Again, look at what you want to focus on. If you see yourself with your hands full of weaponry, you still have your voice to use. If you are able to leave one hand free, you have the other one left for movements (or a horn as it is the only one-handed instrument available). If you want to go on performing and focusing on spells fully, you will have little opportunity to handling weapons other than holding a dagger in one hand and not playing while you are at it. Even if you want to go fully armed with your Bard, you can still choose some spells that are useful outside of combat or support the combat style. Otherwise, if you think you’re not combat effective with weaponry (an ability score lower than 16), do look for at least one Cantrip or spell that deals damage if you don’t like to be a pacifist.
As a rule of thumb, to start with a balanced Bard, pick the following types of spells: one that is beneficial for you or the party, one that is detrimental to the opponent, something that helps with social interaction, and something practical that helps with exploration. You can interpret these in any way you like and some of these spells can work in different ways in- and outside of combat. You won’t be able to cover all your bases as there will be situations where some of these spells won’t work. That is where you have to think outside of the box and use a different prepared spell or method to create a beneficial result. When levelling up, you can still use the first set of spells at a higher level, making the base as versatile as how you use it.
With the last two editions, the Bard is no stranger to ritual casting. If you want to be stingy on the utility spells, then look for one that is a ritual that you think might come up often.

Combat

If you want to fight as a Bard then you will do well if you understand teamwork. You can smooth things out for the group and ease the problems that may arise with little boosts in combat prowess. You might need to remind the group of their additions in abilities from time to time, though. Sometimes the little things get overlooked but can still make all the difference. There’s no guarantee that the boost works, but the effort should be there. Assist those who can shine depending on the battle, making the heavy hitter hit heavier, making the damage sponge take more hits, giving the mage more magical bang for his buck, etc. If an ally is down or has trouble taking the fight well or has a big weakness, you can choose to support that one instead. This is a tactical choice that is up to you. The Bard is often dependent on a group, so if you don’t have a group, you might want to hire some retainers to fight along with you.
As mentioned in the Spell section, a lot of the Bard’s spells are situational depending on what is happening and what needs to be done. This requires versatile thinking from yourself as you might want to switch to a weapon if the spells don’t work, or you need to think outside of the box and use a different spell to make the battle easier. You might not be able to massively damage dumb brutes, but an illusion or charm spell might stop them in their tracks. You could have an effective spell at the ready, but the opponent doesn’t have the right requirements to be affected by it, so use a different spell that might exploit that opponent’s weakness. If you are focused on weaponry, there are still ways to get the best effects from the usage of weapons or your combat style. Even if you feel powerless against your opponents when it comes to magic, you can still turn the tables by magically supporting the group in a way that you think is effective. This versatile thinking turns teamwork into a moment of harmony, or a symphony if you will.
The Bard can find abilities and spells that allow her to emulate a certain class, but it will never be exactly the same. Embrace the Bard in its entirety rather than the sum of its parts. Any combat role that is missing can be filled up by a Bard who bends that way, but she won’t be able to take it for long. Consider your abilities when trying to position yourself. If you think you can take a direct hit, go to the front, if you think you’re better off at range, go to the back. Stay close to the rest (preferably within earshot) if you want to support them or if you can switch styles quickly. When combat goes well but you’re out of (primary) resources or the group needs that little push, you can break out of your style and positioning to keep going for a round or two. Keep learning from other classes in what they do well and what you can do, too. That way, you’ll excel your Bard’s talents and develop them into skills.
Lastly, the Bard is able to learn Countersong/Countercharm at some level. This ability rarely comes up, but can be a lifesaver for the entire group when it does. Keep an ear out for any charming effects that can be created with words or music. Not all monsters are willing to engage in combat, some prefer to defeat the entire group with guile instead.

Roleplay

Who could deny the social charm of the Bard? Some want to play a womanizer, others go for the aspiring artist, and perhaps others want to be that ambassador or spokesperson. In whatever way you want to play one, letting your Bard be social is a strong start. Now, not everyone has the real-life social skills to make their Bard shine and I can’t give an explanation that could do it justice. To keep it brief, social skills are about making a connection with people rather than being a chatterbox. People generally like themselves and like to talk about themselves and meet people who share something with themselves. Those with a strong social understanding are capable of finding things that they have in common at any level with their conversation partners, are able to show that they listen to people, and can have a conversation that is respectable without making it turn into a fight. If this sounds like a high-level challenge for you, try to be generally positive about things and give a compliment now and then. Attempt at some small talk and questions with strangers, practice assertiveness to keep going, and reflect on the tone of your voice when you spoke with someone.
Social skills help when combat skills won’t. Strong persuasive skills might convince a king to give his supporting troops. Honeyed words can keep the ancient dragon from turning you into kebab. Convincing a dumb brutish creature that the rocks you are holding are actually candy could give you an advantage when running away from it. Bargaining with a shopkeep can save you a bit of money. An interrogation might go well if done aggressively. Try to roleplay the argument, do speak out and accept the die result if one is necessary. Even if you think it doesn’t matter because it’s based on the roll, you might get rewarded for the kind of social strategy you chose to use. That said, please don’t use intimidation as a cudgel to get what you want. Even when you’re successful, you can still lose the respect of people, especially the ones who were willing to help you from the start. Asking nicely goes a long way and you can’t force people to surrender everything to you just because you rolled as high as you can.
Performance, in general, is the bread and butter of the Bard and might grant a bit of money or the adoration of people. The promise of being written in a poem, song, or epic story would be something any person be glad about. Otherwise, other kinds of performances can still give people a good time and a lasting impression. A person who is feeling down might be cheered up with a nice song. This is one of many strengths of a Bard as a hero.
Most of the Bard’s magic is focused on spells that support social skills and anything that would enhance the splendor of performances. These spells can help make people more susceptible to your intentions whether they are benign or malignant, obvious or inconspicuous, or for personal use or for someone else. Whichever spell you choose, there can be a way to make good use of it as long as you can figure out how. Do be careful, though. Most people don’t take kindly to being enchanted and manipulated like that.

Exploration

The Bard can grant comfort and ease for the group. They can make resting and travel go smoother with their performances and are able to keep the group’s morale high. This way, the group will always have an edge when something unexpected starts. This might not work when the group needs to travel quietly, though. You might want to stay quiet when stealth is necessary and use the soothing notes when it’s okay.
When something needs to be done that a character is good at, you can be there to give that person a boost, minimizing risk and maximizing travel speed or survival. If such a person isn’t there, you might be a good second choice. The serendipitous skill-tricks a Bard learns in her career makes her better than anyone who doesn’t have any points in a said skill. As they say; “In the world of the blind, the one-eyed person is king.”
As with anything, the Bard can use magical spells to make something easier to do. Any supportive spell you chose could have some use when it comes to finding useful lore, opening ways, or leaving a message. There might be an expert in the group that can make something work, but if there is none or if all else fails, magic is a good option to fall back on.

Alternatives

In medieval Gaelic and British culture, a bard was a professional storyteller, verse-maker and music composer, employed by a patron (such as a monarch or noble), to commemorate one or more of the patron's ancestors and to praise the patron's own activities.
Originally a specific, lower class of poet, contrasting with the higher rank known as fili in Ireland and Highland Scotland, with the decline of living bardic tradition in the modern period the term "bard" acquired generic meanings of an author or minstrel, especially a famous one. For example, William Shakespeare, and Rabindranath Tagore are known as "the Bard of Avon" and "the Bard of Bengal" respectively.
-Wikipedia-
In precise historical terms, the title "bard" applies only to certain groups of Celtic poets who sang the history of their tribes in long, recitative poems. These bards, found mainly in Ireland, Wales, and Scotland, filled many important roles in their society. They were store houses of tribal history, reporters of news, messengers, and even ambassadors to other tribes. However, in the AD&D game, the bard is a more generalized character. Historical and legendary examples of the type include Alan-a-Dale, Will Scarlet, Amergin, and even Homer. Indeed, every culture has its storyteller or poet, whether he is called bard, skald, fili, jongleur, or something else.
-2nd edition Player’s Handbook-
A Bard is not just a musician but a multi-talented performer. You can go in many ways or come up with variations on what your perfomance and style is. Otherwise, you can give your concept of the Bard a twist by looking at the following examples below.
  • Acrobat
  • Actor
  • Advisor
  • Aois-Dàna
  • Charan
  • Clown
  • (Court) Jester
  • Danser
  • Fili
  • Fool
  • Geisha
  • Greek Chorus
  • Griot
  • Hymnist
  • Joculator (Juggler)
  • Legislator
  • Minnesinger
  • Minstrel
  • Musician
  • Nīþ
  • Playwright
  • Poet
  • Puppeteer
  • Raconteur
  • Rhapsode
  • Wordsmith
  • Scop
  • Seanchai
  • Singer
  • Skald
  • Storyteller
  • Thespian
  • Troubadour
  • Vates
As a bonus, I’ll add the nine muses and their domains for the sake of inspiration as any artist could use some source of inspiration to work with.
  • Calliope of epic poetry
  • Clio of history
  • Erato of love poetry
  • Euterpe of song
  • Melpomene of tragedy
  • Polyhymnia of hymns
  • Terpsichore of dance
  • Thalia of comedy
  • Urania of astronomy

Inspiration

As the Bard is known for being a musician, it would be easy to fill this list with a massively long line of performers and bands. I wanted to put my favorites in here, but would that do it any justice? I’m sure that you have some favorites as well. However, that would make the list too long and arbitrary. So I’m noting relatively modern performers that have a combination of at least two of the following performance arts: storytelling, song, dance, acting, choreography, comedy, and poetry. Others are names throughout history that are undoubtedly famous or have made a significant impact on performance arts (and some random stuff just for fun).
  • 8 Mile (2002)
  • A Bard’s Tale games
  • A Modern Major General by Gilbert & Sullivan
  • A Star Is Born (1954)
  • A Whack on the Side of the Head by Roger von Oech
  • Acoustics, example one, example two, example three
  • Almost Famous (2000)
  • Alternative instruments example one, example two, example three
  • Amadeus (1984)
  • Amergin Glúingel
  • Antonio Lucio Vivaldi
  • Aristotle’s Poetics (though you won’t find the second book)
  • Be Kind Rewind (2008)
  • Beatboxing
  • Beatniks
  • Being John Malkovich (1999)
  • Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)
  • Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)
  • Black Swan (2010)
  • Bob Dylan
  • Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
  • Bollywood movies
  • Boom-boom clap, boom-boom clap
  • Brave Sir Robin’s minstrels from Monthy Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
  • Brook from One Piece
  • Brütal Legend
  • Cacafonix from Asterix & Obelix
  • Captain EO (1986)
  • Catchy beats
  • Catelyn Ohashi
  • Chanson de geste
  • Chanson de Roland
  • Charles Chaplin
  • Cheerleaders
  • Chloe Kim, Olympic snowboarder
  • Chopin
  • Christmas carolers
  • Christmas songs
  • Cloud Atlas (2012)
  • Clowns
  • Cool World (1992)
  • Cricket from James and the Giant Peach (1996)
  • David Bowie
  • Deedee’s New Voice episode from Dexter’s Laboratory
  • Departures/Okuribito (2008)
  • Dinobabies (seriously, it’s just the spectacled dino telling fairytales)
  • Dirty Dancing (1987)
  • Disney movies and songs
  • Dr. Seuss
  • Dreamgirls (2006)
  • Dungeon Masters/Game Masters
  • Earworms
  • Elton John
  • Elvis Presley
  • Ernest Hemingway
  • Flashdance (1983)
  • Frank (2014)
  • Frank Sinatra
  • Gaucelm Faidit
  • Gilbert & Sullivan
  • Gloomy Sunday by Rezsö Seress
  • Grease (1978)
  • Gysbert Japiks
  • Haikus
  • Heroes by David Bowie
  • High Fidelity (2000)
  • High School Musical 1 (2006)
  • High School Musical 2 (2007)
  • High School Musical 3 (2008)
  • High School Musical 4 (2019)
  • Homer, author of The Iliad and The Odyssey
  • Humble beginnings
  • Il Trovatore
  • Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
  • Jabbawokeez
  • Jack Black
  • Jem and the Holograms (2015)
  • Jem and the Holograms series
  • Jigglypuff, Meloetta, Chatot, Cricketot, Poliwhirl, Ludicolo, Bellossom, Oricorio, and Mr. Mime from Pokémon games
  • Jim Henson
  • Jim Henson’s The Story Teller and The Muppet Show
  • Jimmy Hendrix
  • Johnny Cash
  • Josie and the Pussycats
  • Julius ‘Groucho’ Marx
  • Kasperle
  • Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)
  • Kung Fu Hustle’s musicians (2004)
  • La Môme (2007)
  • Labyrinth (1986)
  • Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
  • Les Miserables (1995, 2010, 2012)
  • Les Miserables, kazoo version
  • Lindsey Stirling
  • Lord George Gordon Byron
  • Louis Armstrong
  • Love’s Labour’s Won by William Shakespeare
  • Ludwig van Beethoven
  • Madonna
  • Magical girl transformations
  • Man on the Moon (1999)
  • Marshal ‘Eminem’ Bruce Mathers III
  • Memoirs of a Geisha (2005, 2015)
  • Metallica
  • Michael Jackson
  • Michael Rosen
  • Moonwalker (1988)
  • Moulin Rouge! (2001)
  • National anthems
  • Nirvana
  • Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker and any of the songs from these games
  • Once More With Feeling from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer series
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Orange County (2002)
  • Orchestral versions of songs
  • Pentatonix
  • Per la ricuperata salute di Ophelia by Mozart and Salieri
  • Perfect by Fairground Attraction
  • Pianoman by Billy Joel
  • Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)
  • Puppeteering
  • Queen
  • Quentin Tarantino
  • Rabindranath Tagore
  • Radio Ga Ga by Queen
  • Rapper’s Delight by the Sugar Gang
  • Ray (2004)
  • Ray Charles
  • Rob Cantor and Andrew Horowitz
  • Rock and Rule (1983)
  • Rockadoodle (1991)
  • Rolling Stones
  • Sander Cohen from Bioshock
  • Sappho, the tenth muse
  • Saving Mr. Banks (2013)
  • School of Rock (2003)
  • Serendipitous music example one, example two, example three
  • Shigesato Itoi
  • Singin’ In The Rain (1952)
  • Skáldatal
  • Slam poetry
  • Some Like It Hot (1959)
  • Song covers
  • Song of the South (1946)
  • Soul Music, and the fool in Wyrd Sisters from the Discworld series by the late Sir Terry Pratchett
  • Straight Outta Compton (2015)
  • Sucker Punch (2011)
  • That one song that gives you goosebumps and makes you listen to it on repeat before wanting to sleep
  • The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985)
  • The Barbarian and the Geisha/The Townsend Harris Story/Barbarian (1958)
  • The Bard (2011)
  • The Bard (2017)
  • The Bard’s Song by Blind Guardian
  • The Beatles
  • The Blues Brothers (1980)
  • The Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)
  • The Book of Taliesin
  • The brown note
  • The Davidoff-Morini Stradivarius
  • The Devil Went Down To Georgia
  • The Entertainer by Scott Joplin
  • The fool from Wyrd Sisters
  • The Great Dictator (1940)
  • The grey note
  • The Music of Erich Zahn by H.P. Lovecraft
  • The Never Ending Story (1984)
  • The Never Ending Story 2 (1990)
  • The Never Ending Story 3 (1994)
  • The nine muses of Greek mythology
  • The Phantom of the Opera (1925, 1943, 1962, 1973, 1974, 1983, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1995, 1998, 2011)
  • The Piano (1993)
  • The Pick of Destiny (2006)
  • The Pied Piper of Hamelin
  • The pink note
  • The Road to El Dorado (2000)
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
  • The Score of Thespis by Gilbert & Sullivan
  • The Sound of Music (1965)
  • The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel
  • The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny and Word Disassociation by Lemon Demon
  • The Wiz (1978)
  • Thespian plays
  • This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
  • Tina Turner
  • Toast Song
  • Top Secret Drum Corps
  • Tribute by Tenacious D
  • Triple threats in theatre
  • Tupac ‘2Pac’ Amaru Shakur
  • Video Killed The Radio Star by The Buggles
  • Voice types: Sopranos, Mezzo Sopranos, Altos, Tenors, Baritones, Basses, Contra Altos, Contra Tenors
  • Walk off the Earth
  • Walk The Line (2005)
  • Weightless by Maraconi Union
  • Weird Al Yankovic
  • West Side Story (1961)
  • Where The Wild Things Are (2009)
  • Whitney Houston
  • Will Scarlet, Alan-a-Dale, and the rest of Robin Hood’s Merry Men
  • Will Smith
  • William Shakespeare
  • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • Woodstock
  • Yellow Submarine (1968)

Subclasses

  • Valor

Classes

Races

submitted by OlemGolem to PCAcademy [link] [comments]


2018.08.02 00:47 Texas1971 Carollaisms (August)

Carollaisms (August)

Band Names/Rap Stars

Mitt Romney and the One Percenters (ACS)
ManAyz - Rap star (LL)
D'Bagz - Rap star (LL)
Maxi Pad - An all-girl band that knows how to rock (LL)
Dick Tingle - One of the best blues men in the business (Show?)
Lynette and the Lackeys (ACS)
Straw Hat and the Bowties - Jerry Springer's dixieland band who plays at the Knott's Berry Farm Good Time Theater (ACS)
Gut Fluffer (ACS)
Johnny Beaumont and The Legionnaires - All wear matching powder blue tuxedoes (ACS)
Automatic Vaginismus – Great band name (LL)
Dissuade/D’ Suede - Rappeproducer of Kanye/one of Kim's ex beaus (ACS)
Starchy Deuce - Band that should be produced by D' Suede (ACS)
Narthex - (ACS)
Epileptic Declawed Hamster - That is a helluva punk band right there (ACS)
Loretta Lynch - Country singer who sang "Stand By Your Man" (ACS)
The Areolas - Covered an Eagles song in the ‘90s (ACS)
Fleece and Flannel - One of the best lesbian acoustic duos you will ever see (ACS)
3 Chainz - Rap star (ACS)
Blues Squatter - Adam's dad’s band name (ACS)
Tampon Kayak - One of Seattle's greatest, but least heard of indie bands (ACS)
Jizz Grenade (LL)
Dryer Fire - Hot indie band name (ACS)
Iranian Revolutionary Guard - Prince's backup band (ACS)
Rape Kit - Name of Adam's band from high school (ACS)
Nog Bong - A band Adam was in in high school (ACS)
Bum Blazer – Adam’s band in high school (ACS)
White Trash Kimchi - Another good band name (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
White Noise - Adam's rap name (ADS)
Promethazine - Lil Wayne's sister (ADS)
Light Rail - Great Rap name (ADS)
Danny In The Joint - Good indie band name (ACS)
Anal Cleft - One of the worst reggae singers to leave Jamaica (ACS)
Anal Cleft and the Taints - Great reggae group (ACS)
MEL-ROL - One of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
D'bris - Great Rap name (ACS)
Cisgender - A militant female rapper....for the ladies (ACS)
Krav Maga (1) - Country singing Jew (ACS)
Lynette and Paulette - Sounds like a singing duo from the 60's (RD)
Nuts In The Sink - Name of Ray’s new band (Ray) (AOTH)
SubDude - Pete Holmes' rap name (ACS)
Ray And The Enemas - Blues singer and his backup band (ADS)
Yakov Crutchfield - He has a show in Branson (ADS)
Mac 18 - Adam’s favorite rapper (RD)
Tremble Lean – Adam’s rap name (ACBSL)
Sticker Back – Worst band out of Canada ever (ACS)
Pennywise and Pound Foolish - A band from the ‘90's (RD)
Strawberry Shortcake's Neti Pot - Great band name (Twitter)
Puffy Elon Musk - Worst rapper ever (ACS)
Pantera Club at Laguna Seca (Twitter)
Savage Body Attack - New wave romantic band Ace was in when he was 19 (FBL)
Jumping Jazzy Jews - Jeff Goldblum's jazz band (ACS)
Snore Cherry - Great band name (ACS)
Pat Benatard - Pat Benatar cover band (ACS)
Rancid Nuts - Good band name (ACS)
Gary And The Knotholes - Good band name (AOTH)
Tampon Canoe - Good indie band (ACS)
One Erection - A good boy band (ACS)
Flushin' Dew - A good country duo (ACS)
Armo Jeweler - Great band name (RD)
Radon - (Lynette thinks) there a Whitesnake cover-band (ACS)
The Taste Of Ace - Great band name (ACS)
King Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Concord Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Gary Taco - Love that band (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - Good punk band (Gina) (ACS)
Daddy’s Got A Dually – Good country song (ACS)
Dip Curtain - Good indie band (ACS)
Crystal Lobbyists - Sounds like a great techno band (ACS)
Narcissistic Monk -Great indie band (GS)
Sporty Prius - Worst of the Spice Girls (ACS)
Laden and Bravado - 70s duo who opened for Seals n Crofts (ACS)
The Bouncers - great band name (ACS)
Hurry up and make sense (1) - a good talking heads album (ACS)
Appropriate Sombrero - Maxapada’s next band name (Bryan) (ACS)
Flirtatious Contrail - great rap name (GS)
Jack Johnson - Guy from The White Stripes aka The Black Stripes (ACS)
Sophistry - A great Carol King album (ADS)

Song Titles

Meatless Mondays - Horrible Bangles song (Show?)
Measles and Commuter Trains - Worst Christmas song ever (ACS)
White Guys Be Ownin' Everything - Adam's next hit (ACS)
Blood On The Grout - John Cougar Mellencamp song (ACS)
No Blood In The Peckeroo - Good John Cougar song (ACS)
Mellen's Gold - A three disc box set of nothing but John Cougar Mellencamp hits (ACS)
Freaks, Retards and Jews - Not a Cher song (ACS)
Pedophile Cops - Good Cheap Trick song (ACS)
Pig Anus Soup - Favorite Rolling Stones album (Bryan) (ACS)
That Dog Don’t Mess With Olga and Natalia Don’t Spit No Mo’ - Sounds like a Mississippi Delta blues song (Bryan) (ACS)
Goggles Are For Pussies - Trace Adkins' number one hit (ACAFBSL)
Whistle While You Masturbate - The lost Disney song aka "Whistle While You Jerk" (ACS)
12 Pack & Dick's Hard - Name of Adam's new album (Gina) (ACS)
Blood and Soil - A good Smithereens song (ACS)
Pina Colada in Amsterdam - Worst Jimmy Buffet song ever (ACS)
Tough Times In The City - Great Nick Gilder song (ACS)
I've Got A Hamster In My Scrotum And He's Looking For His Keys - That's a good country song (ACS)
Gay Hitler -Great Elvis Costello song (ACS)
Tard On The Tool Shed - Good Mellenamp song (AOTH)
Condo in Redondo - Sublime song (ADS)
Animoji - Band that sung "Obsession" (ACS)
People Who Have Lost People - Worst Barbara Streisand song ever (ACS)
Tilted Heart - Great Tammy Wynette song (ADS)
Yoga wood - Great Beatles song (ACS)
Anal cleft - Song from the Sound of Music (ACS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
I’ve got a Saturday and two friends - great country song (Gina) (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (2) - Title of the next Guns N Roses album (ACS)
Circling Back To Baldwin - Good name for a country song (ACS)
Keistered in Winnipeg - (Bald’s) favorite Willie Nelson song (ACS)
Anal ipecac - Good indie band (ACS)
2 Tits and a Pulse - Ace likes that Beck song (Bryan/Adam) (ACS)

Football Players/Athletes/Teams:

Legs Akimbo - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Feral Katz - Nose Tackle (ACS)
L' Brarian Booker - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Oscar Buzz - Linebacker (ACS)
DeVigorous Lover - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Nadir Zenith - Placekicker (ACS)
DeGluten Free - Offensive Lineman (ACS)
Tangy Mango - Fullback (ACS)
N'Farious Plan - (position?) (ACS)
Modular Holmes - (position?) (ACS)
Fortuitous Bounce - Safety (ACS)
Operatin' Thetan - (ACS) Quarterback for the Washington Redskins (ACS)
Minority Banks - HOF OLB who died tragically in a car wreck shortly after his HOF induction, a natural athlete, he played option QB in college along with being a stand out member of the track team, and in high school he was captain of the basketball team. Survived by his twin brother Majority Banks, who also played in the league, and daughter Recuser Banks who many believe was the best athlete in the family (ACS)
Coach Platitude - "Take a knee son...helmet's not a chair" (ACS)
Glendora Bevmo - Mother of DeVigorous Lover and L' Brarian Booker (different fathers, of course) (ACS)
Marshall Law - (Allison) (ACS)
Orlando Ceeworld - (position?) (ACS)
Du Vatine - (position?) (Show?)
Raja Slate - Super fast wide-out out of Marshall via LSU (AOTH)
Moe Greene - Great corner for the Washington Redskins in the 80’s (ACS)
Bronx Defenders - Sounds like a AAA hockey team (RD)
Medical Error - Slipped in the draft due to a video being released just prior (ACS)
Homeo Stasis (position?) (ACS)
Capybara - The greatest name for a major league skipper (ACS)
Ejaxico Johnson (position?) (ACS)
Radiant Barrier vs. Attic Fan - The worst WWE matchup ever to grace the stage (AOTH)
Bamboo Brick - one of the greatest mixed martial artists on the planet (AOTH)
Dexter Methorphan - He did not participate in the combines, but his coaches say he can run a 4.3 (Twitter)
Bob Jacuzzi - Great point guard for the Celtics aka "THE COOZE" (ACS)
Shame Negation - Picked to leave Clemson early and go very early in the draft this year. (ADS)
Entertainment Crackers - Another name for the Washington Generals ACS
Hardibacker - Good name for an inside backer (ACS)
Osmosis - Black dude. Forward for the Knicks who might or might not have been traded (ADS)
Onus Wilson - NFL draftee (ACS)
World Be Mine - Adam’s new basketball name (ACS)
LBJ - Worst Mexican wrestler name ever (ADS)
Cold stone Steve Austin - Can’t wrestle on hot days. Tag team partners with the Klondike twins (GS)
Cicely Tyson - Greatest Italian boxer of all time. (ADS)

Porn Star Names/Terms/Gay Code:

Spoodini - (LL)
Rocky Stucco - (AOTH)
No Can Doo - Backdoor anal queen of China (ACS)
Kristallnacht - Worst porn star name in the business (ACS)
Madison Avenue (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Hero Du Jour (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Kindle Fire (ACS)
Jackson Hole - Gay porn actor (ACS)
Col. Duke Lacrosse - Adam's porn name (LL)
Duke Circumference - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Rich Data - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Tom Foolery - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Honey Dijon - Great porn star name (Show?)
Aids Machete - One of Adam's gay porn names. "Very short stint, I only did 2 weeks with that name, so it was like 41 movies." (ACS)
Bryce Canyon - Great gay porn name (ACS)
The Italian Coastguard - A gay move. "Let me just start with basic anal, then I'll slide into the Italian Coast Guard." (ACS)
Tetanus Gym - Good gay porn name "Who you working with?" "Tetanus Gym." "Oh boy, make sure you're on top" (ACS)
Shared A Back Fence - gay slang (ACS)
Mea Culpa - Adam's porn name (ACS)
Hand Twins - Gay code (ACS)
Backscatter - Porn technology (PM)
Cajun Tree Climber - Gay code (AOTH)
Snow Blower- Gay code (AOTH)
Stump Grinder - Gay code (AOTH)
Tumbler And Coaster - Adam's gay slang replacement for "top and bottom" (PM)
Go For A Bike Ride - Gay code (ACS)
Artie Fartie - Adam's porn name from the 80's (ACS)
Road Island Ray - Ray's porn name (AOTH)
38KKK -A type of porn that comes out of Kentucky (ACS)
Tech Screw - A dirty website for geeks (ACS)
Bearvalanche - Worst gay move ever (ACS)
Wacked Off Pieces Of Cactus - Gay code for gay rough trade (ACS)
Brad Nail - Good gay porn name (ADS)
Lightning Rod - Good gay porn name for Milo Yiannopplous (ADS)
Milk Barn - Another name for Adam's bathroom sink (ACS)
Meat Thievery - That's just good gay code (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Asian Persuasion - Sounds like a good name for a porn series Asian persuasion 16 (ACS)
Cock Holster - Good movie series, cock holster 14 (ACS)
Celebrity Du Jour - Great porn name (ACS)
Europol - Another great porn name (ACS)
Roy Wood - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Tank slapper - Gay slang (Gina) (ACS)
Porch Pirate - Gay term (ACS)
Mad Chuck - The world's worst name for a gay porn star (AOTH)
Sweat lodge - Gay code (ACS)
The L.A. Underground - Sounds like a gay bar (M&J)
Skin and grin - Gay slang (ACS)
Rear Admiral - The name of one of the best bars on west side (ACS)
Loaded for bear - Now a gay term (GS)
Fruit Of The Year - A porn Dave (Dameshek) starred in (ACS)
The Lebanese Comedian - Ace's favorite sex position (ACS)
Cockout - When a gay guy doesn't try very hard (ACS)
Margana Wood - Porn name (ACS)
Hugh Bris - Porn star (RD)
Matte Clear - Fondalier’s gay porn name (AOTH)
Palatial Estates – A good 80’s fake tittie porn name (AOTH)
Cokie Roberts - Great porn name (ACS)
Armenian Christmas - An unspeakable sexual act in prison. "Johnny ratted out the white supremacists to the warden, so they gave him an Armenian Christmas" (Show?)
Ride The Pine - Gay slang (ADS)
Meet Gaze - Gay slang (ACS)
Asshole Rider - Gay slang (ACS)
Cash Widedick - Ace's porn name if you can call an apple a honey crisp. (ACS)
Shanda Lear - Great stripper name (Gina) (ACS)
Fiery Cherry - Good porn name (ACS)
Jerk the wheel - Code for masturbation (ACS)
Giddyup Titties - Gina’s porn name (Gina) (ACS)
French astronaut - Great gay slang (ACS)
Mr Bandera - gay code (ACS)
Beefmato/Clamato - sounds like names of venerial diseases (ACS)
Spanner - Australian gay code (ACS)
Rocky tenure - Adam’s gay porn name (ACS)
The End Game - One of Stormy Daniels movie titles (RD)
Room for cream - Great porno title (Gina) (ACS)
Pedialyte shower - Worst sexual act ever (Sklar) (ACS)
Foot Zunki - Add-on to the Pedialyte shower (ACS)
Self rimming sink - gay slang (AOTH)
Harvey Mudd - gay bar drink where vermouth and bartender shit is mixed in a goblet (ACS)
Barney’s Beanery - ultimate name for a gay bar (ACS)
Parallel park both ways - euphemism for being bi (GS)
The Big Three - Gerago’s junk (RD)
73 - When a fat guy tries to 69 with a chubby prostitute he met at a ham radio convention(ACS)
Backlog - Stormy Daniels movie title (Bryan)(ACS)
Madison Bear - Sounds like an dating app for gay hairy dudes who are married (ACS)
Back pay - Good porn title name (ACS)

Miscellaneous People

Trajectory Hagar - High school kid "heading down the wrong path" in life (ACS)
Slick Mouth - Adam's prison name (ACS)
Rich Carless - Cool homeless guy name (ACS)
Keyless Chuck - Best homeless guy name (ACS)
Nasal Ranger - Worst superhero name ever (Gina) (ACS)
Krav Maga (2) - Good name for a sheriff (ADS)
Hubcap Annie - Horror that hangs out with Keyless Chuck (ACS)
Becky Honkington (Allison) (ACS)
Monica Chugscock - (Pronounced "Shuggscawk") (ADS)
Tyvek DuPont - Best rich guy’s name (AOTH)
Mattress - A Model/actress (ACS)
Hofmeister Kink - Nazi war criminal who's been in hiding in Brazil for the past 61 years. aka Jake Johnson (ACS)
Serpiginous - The world's wimpiest swordsman. Sir Piginous of Wussville (LL)
Chick Fil a - Great play-by-play guy for the Warriors from the 70’s (Show?)
Peri Menopausal - Best P.I. working the Chicago beat (LL)
Whiskey Dick - The neighborhood pedophile in the clown outfit (ACS)
Surge - Guy that drives for ÜBER (ACS)
Babbling Brook - Great name for a female cattle auctioneer (PM)
Terra Firma - Name of the "woman of color" that heckled Adam at a Ventura live show and was removed by force (The Ranker Podcast)
Octomom - Great Batman villain (Bryan) (ACS)
Larry The Cabinet Guy - Failed Israeli comic…"Don't get 'er done!" (ACS)
Rod Blagojevich - Joe Francis' slimy brother who sells above ground pools out of a primered van (ACS)
Cockchug Man - The gay superhero in The Village People that wears just all leather (ACS)
MEL-ROL- She's one of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
Hand Farts - A new comedian Adam had never heard of (ACS)
Juan Jeremy - The greatest international film star ever (ACS)
Bitchathane Jackson - Good name for a "sista" (ACS)
Tobar - Perfect caveman name (ACS)
Vroman - A fast moving Roman (ACS)
Korn Syrup and Fructose - Women of color who work at the strip club with Jade (stage 4) (ACS)
Fred Meyer - Lucy's neighbor (ACS)
Kimchi - The Asian flutist (ACS)
Pacoima - The mechanic from Taxi (ACS)
Dick Salt - NATO Alliance General (ACS)
Dick Salt (2) - Manger of the Mariners in the early 70’s (Bryan) (ACS)
Caramel And Fudge - Two more African-American prostitutes that lived in the apartment above Adam’s (ACS)
Peaches - The whore that lived upstairs (ACS)
F. Me Bailey - Greatest lawyer of all time (RD)
Agua Caliente - Loves that guy. He does a great John Madden (ACS)
Senior Penis - One the most dangerous drug lords to ever work (ADS)
Shill Du'Jour - Good Bond secretary name (RD)
Brexit Romero - Sounds like an International assassin (ACS)
Lugansk - That gay diver who hit his head and gave the whole Canadian team AIDS (ACS)
Leak O'rama - A Dutch action star, starred in “Sudden Death” (AOTH)
Vaginismus - Great black guy name (ADS)
Normcore - Guy that owns Westwood one (ACS)
LaTolstoy - Great black guy name (ACS)
Shapiro – Artist who is really good at anime. Died in the 60’s but was a real trendsetter (ACS)
Chuck Spears – Good name for a racist. “Hey you workin’ with Chuck Spears over at the Klan?” (ACS)
Norethindrone - DAG’s Sister (CLL)
La Tuskegee - Black airline pilot (ACS)
C-clamps – Nickname for Adam’s step-mom. “Ol’ C-clamps locked me out of the house again.” (ACS)
Harry Nilsson - (Gary thinks) he does the voices on The Simpsons (ADS)
Nutella - Great name for a crazy black woman (ACS)
Sia - The perfect person to break up with. Would be perfect if she was dating Jack (hit the road Jack) (ACS)
The Ball Catcher - What Adam used to call Ray's ass in junior high (ACFBSL)
MOAB - Matt's new nickname (Mother of All Buttholes) (AONTH)
Trip Reeb - Great name for a white guy (ACS)
Merle Horn - One of the greatest best ropers to ever come down the Pecos (ACS)
The Boring Machine - Lynette's name for Adam (ACS)
Avocado Hand - The nickname of Eric Clapton's brother (Chet) who works at a Mexican place and is charge of the guacamole (ACS)
Bagel Hand - Clapton's Jewish cousin (ACS)
Fa-Sheeya (fascia) - A heavy set woman of color that works at the DMV (ACAFBSL)
Ghrelin - New AM/PM mascot (ACS)
Krav Maga (3) - An Israeli Captain from 1946 (ACS)
Cuban Boa - Sounds like a dark skinned trannie (ACS)
Gabardine - She's a very chatty woman of color middle-aged and she'll talk your ear off. (ACS)
Guy Dudebro - Greatest name ever (AOTH)
Otto Warmbier- Simultaneously the greatest and worst beer master brewer name ever (ACS)
Leif Geragos - Greatest rocking attorney ever Viking rocker attorney (ACS)
Ernest J. Bigot - "I'm just asking....I'm just wanna know...." (ACS)
Panzanella - Cobra's full name (ACS)
Sheet Metal Nibbler - Great name for Matt the porcelain punisher (AOTH)
Big Grenadine - Sounds like a large black neighbor (ACS)
Silent gym - Next to Keyless Chuck, best homeless guy name ever (ACS)
Nuchilla - Sounds like a black vampire (Theo Von) (ACS)
D' poleon - Black Napoleon (ACS)
Luke Rockhold - Sounds like a character on The Flintstones (GS)
Sissy squat - She was hot (AOTH)
Beulah - The town horror (RD)
Ronan Farrow - One of the best wheel men in Europe (ACS)
Duke Bagg - Comedian Ian Bagg's brother (ACS)
Root Ball Grinder - A horrible term for a bitchy wife (Ruth Ballgrinder and Harriet Mulcher) (Tim Allen) (ACS)
Paul Funyun - Just a big dude who likes to have fun. Has a pink ox as a sidekick (ACS)
Page/Savage - A great lawyer team (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Ivar the Boneless - Ace’s dad’s nickname in high school. aka Jim the spineless (ACS)
Bash Worthy - Comic strip's character name/title (ACS)
Uncle Tom-bién - Mexican Uncle Tom (ACS)
Alist Poon - An Indian exchange student who has cerebral palsy (ACS)
Indignant Asswipes - Good name for an improv troupe (Gina) (ACS)
Flora in Fauna - two black chicks that work for him (ADS)
Cheap - Name of a he/she that literally went under sexual assignment surgery last month (ACS)
Heroin (1)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) A character in Lord Of The Rings (Bryan) (ACS)
Yersinia pestis - Ace did Celebrity Apprentice with that dude. He won that year (ADS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
Rachel Bias - Great stripper name (ACS)
Buzz Ramjet - Aviation attorney (ACS)
Black Cherry - Stripper name Bryan (ACS)
Saffron - Sassy black woman in Meg Whitman movie (ACS)
Vibranium - a new black kid name from Black Panther (ACS)
Bird Nerd - Marvel superhero (ACS)
Merch Galore - Worst Bond secretary ever. Total sellout. Always wearing her own swag (GS)
Bathroom Goalie - New code for fat chicks sitting next to you on an airplane (ACS)
Skip Loader -Kurt Loder’s older brother (ACS)
F. Me Money - greatest attorney rapper ever (RD)

Morning Zoos/DJ's/Radio Stations

Gum and Condoms - (Show?)
Dusty Labia - Adam's handle when he used to do AM Mornings. (ACS)
Asscrack and Backsack in the morning with Sludge (LL)
Crockpots and Headphones (ACS)
Booger and Floor Wax (ACS)
Almonds and Water (ACS)
Cold Butter And Calves (ADS)
Schluter And The Drain - Schluter has a thick Austrian accent , while "The Drain" has a super low voice (AOTH)
Ace Rockolla - Just Google "Ace Rockolla Lightning round...." (LL)
Fungus and Mold (Show?)
Stupid and Petty (Show?)
Eunice and Edgar - Bubba the Love Sponge's parents (ACS)
Flip Flops and Fanny Packs (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Does a KCRE show in the weekends (ACS)
Deep Bra Grooves - Should be a Sirius XM station Channel 248, C+ and above! (ACS)
Andy and Opie - Great Radio Show (ACS)
QuietRock - Sounds like an easy listening rock station (AOTH)
Quiet Crush - A good easy listening radio station (ACS)
The Tool Box - SiriusXM took tune station aka KTOL (ACS)
Ray's Enema Antics - New podcast on Carolla Digital (Bryan)(ACS)
Doug Gets Blown While He Eats Pudding - Doug Benson's next podcast (ACS)
Cat Packer - Used to do mornings with her brother, Fudge (ACS)
Duke and Shinola - good morning show team (ACS)
Mother Trucker - Adam’s Podcast with caller Miguel (AOTH)

Places

Boobville - (LL)
Pedoph Isle aka Pedophile Island - Island where are all the pedophiles are sent to live. (Also a TV show/movie idea) (LL)
Lil' Lord Fauntleroy’s Academy for Albino Hemophiliacs - Drew's childhood school (LL)
Doesntexistizcan - Where presidential candidate Platitude's grandfather was from (ACS)
Boga Raton - The world's worst resort spot (Show?)
Meat Yard - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Mister Fister's - Adam's all-time top name for a gay bar (ACS)
Sub-Par - Worst name for a submarine sandwich shop (Show?)
Queen Mary - Great name for a tranny bar (ACS)
NuvaRing - A German racetrack. "The new Nissan GTR turned it in 7:21, faster than the Corvette." (Show?)
Louis Pasteur Middle School (ACS)
Helm’s Deep - World's first gay bar bakery (ACS)
Kal Penn - One of the best sounding names to get an engineering degree from (ACS)
Alaska State Motto - Love fishing but I hate your kids? Alaska! (PM)
Duke University - John Wayne's college (ACS)
Planned Possumhood - Planned Parenthood in Arkansas (ACS)
Fruit Stand - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Poo Poo City - Where Charles Fletcher Loomis' house is located (ACS)
Blood Bank - Great name for a check cashing place in the hood (ACS)
Bass Manor - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
The Dead C - Sounds like the worst name for a lesbian bar ever (ACS)
Wood Bar - Good name for a gay bar (ACS)
Ghost Load - Ride at Calico Ghost Town (ADS)
Nasacort - Country club for Jewish folks where they play tennis at (ADS)
L.A. HOTT (1) - An 80's bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Fairy Wings - Good name for a bar on the west side (ACS)
Second Hand/First World - Store that sells rich whitey’s high end stuff (ACS)
The Lance Hunter - Perfect name for a gay bar (Dumb People Town)
Pervert Park - Theo Vaughn grew up there (ACS)
Big Sur - Great name for a big and tall shop (Show?)
Studio Centric - Sounds like a Utopia. Between Valley Village and Sherman Oaks (AOTH)
Asstard - Thor came from that planet (ACS)
Grand Entrance - Great name for a gay bar (AOTH)
Thermopolis - Where the Bun Boy is (ACS)
The Turkish Embassy - Gay bar (ACS)
Low Tide - Gay code for boner in the rear view mirror (ACS)
Corumption - On the way to Vegas, where Heidi Fleiss lives with her macaws (ACS)
C.C. Fichens - Sounds like a pretzel stand (Gina) (ACS)
Timpani Barn - where to get timpani to go, has three big Mexicans in the kitchen (ACS)
Heroin (2)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) The health food store in Venice (ACS)
Pocket Passers - Next to Mister Fister’s (Gina) (ACS)
The Mexican Faire - Worst fair ever (ACS)
Hanoi Hospice - Only place worse than the Hanoi Hilton (ACS)
Kaleblazer- Gay juice bar (ACS)
Hot Dog Cannon - good name for a bar next to The Abbey (ACS)
Dyskeratosis - where Vinnie lives, lots of Greek folks, a family oriented community (ACS)
Kind of, Italy - Where Ace’s family is from. Where he gets his kinky hair. (ADS)

Miscellaneous

Cleaning The Pink Turtle - Bryan's name for pleasuring oneself (ACS)
Analingus - A new type of breath mint (LL)
The Milk Of Arthritic Goats - A rabbi's curse: "May you suckle at the teet of the milk of arthritic goat!!!" (ACS)
Carbon Dating - A black dating website (ACS)
RU486 - Vanity plate for a guy who runs an abortion clinic (ADS)
Jet Green - Amsterdam's Airlines (ACS)
Stromer, Oldhafer and Carolla - World's worst law firm (AOTH)
Ira Carolla - Sounds like an affliction "Oh my Ira Carolla's acting up" (ACS)
Sawjay - Sounds French...gay word for sausage. "I was strokin' this dude’s sawjay" (ACS)
Smokeless Cigarette - Name for Dr. Drew's honker after his prostate surgery (ADS)
El Niño - Name of "Sinn" strip club DJ's cock (ACS)
Blue Man - Crazy hairdresser's macaw who doesn't judge (PM)
Lucia - An Italian moped (ACS)
American Jewish World Service - A van that's begging to be shot at (ACS)
E-aye? - Canadian version of EBay (ACS)
Sweatpants Lesbian - What Adam would be. An in-between lesbian. Not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke (ACS)
SuckStrong - Bill Clinton's bracelet (ACS)
Gaybus - Gay and bogus (ACS)
Flappy Bird - The most offensive name for the vagina (ACS)
G8 (Summit) - The Pontiac that Oprah gave away on her show (ACS)
Oracle A The Delphi - Big new startup company (ADS)
Crewkakke - A type of sweater (ACS)
The Flying Dutchman - Great name for an Amsterdam airlines (ACS)
Cleaning My Chain - Euphemism for beating off (ACS)
Awesome Town - A gathering of three or more polar bears (ACS)
Avocado - The Greek word for nut sack (ACS)
Doucherette - A gum/patch that douchebags chew/use (ACS)
Urban Milling -Black guys standing around (AOTH)
Synesthesia - When you eat your own hair (ACS)
Tuck Rule - When a guy pretends he's a chick and stands in front of the mirror (ACS)
My #2 Pencil Is Out Of Lead - Another term for erectile dysfunction (ACS)
Float A Bond - When a politician farts (RD)
Vaginismus - black people's holiday, accompanied with a lot of ceremonial garb (ADS)
Vaseline and Gauze - Elizabeth Taylor's new scent (ACS)
Jewber - A drunk on a 10-speed (ACS)
Chickpea - What Gina does when we camp (ACS)
Oscar Squad (2) - Bad gay code (ACS)
Airbus - Worst name for an aircraft. Sounds like “air donkey” (AOTH)
Shailene Woodley - Sounds like the most fantastical verb/adverb combo. “I want to Shailene Woodley through a field of poppies with you” (Gina) (Twitter)
Asshole Rider (2) - Worst piece of exercise equipment Vinnie’s ever endorsed (ACS)
Diario La Prensa - Stealer of the jersey in Spanish (ACS)
The Sicilian Fly Swatter - Sounds like a WWF move (Gina) (ACS)
Jellyfish - Sounds like something your grandpa would buy for you at the mall (ACS)
Fruit Fly - More politically correct term for fag hag (Show?)
Jewgling - When a Jew "Googles" their symptoms (ACS)
Tavares - David Wild's boner medicine (ACS)
Jew -Over - A mulligan from a barmitzva. "Uh, I misread that...can I get a Jew-over?" (ACS)
Ossified - That's a Don King word, there (ACS)
Zero for Cecil - Worst charity ever (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
A++ - A bra that Gina will never see (ACS)
Joycelyn - A good name for Curly from the Three Stooges to say (ACS)
Phallisee - Latin for "to see the penis" (ADS)
Coffee Nap - Euphemism for pooping in your pants (ACS)
USS Monitor - Doesn't sound like a ship of war, sounds like a night nurse (ACS)
Dotard - A skirt a man wears (ACS)
Wilding- Something derogatory that takes place in public pools in certain counties (ACS)
Caveat - Latin for shitting on Adam's point (ADS)
Festiva - Sounds like a boner medicine (ACS)
Depeche Mode - French for “who dealt it?” (ADS)
Beefy Clutch – The purse Gina thought Lady Gaga took to the Emmy’s (ACS)
Sig Sauer - Something you would yell at Oktoberfest before downing a stiff stein of stout (ACS)
Jeans day – Sounds like the special day for your special need son Gene, to raise money (ACS)
Wilding - What takes place in public pools in certain counties (GS)
4F - Can’t/won’t be eligible for the draft (ACS)
Groupie - a kind of fish (ACS)
The African chick - Horrible name for a boat (ACS)
Inclusion rider - Snowboard for retarded kids (ACS)
The Urethra - Bad name for a car (ACS)
Mercury retrograde - when you take your index finger and shove it under your sack before you blow, and you belch it up later (ACS)
UEFA - Transsexuals playing soccer with a balled up maxi pad (GS)
Missed Connections- The worst airline ever (ACS)
Carollo - Sounds like a Tool you’d use rarely (ACS)
Brembo - that Mexican food company that makes that bread (Matt) (ACS)
Preemptive gay strike - Worst video game ever (ADS)
Futon - Chinese for bear trap (ACS)
Sexual Battery - Batteries especially made for sexual devices. Somewhere between AA and C (ACS)

Food/Drinks

Deer Bits - A venison cereal. Made of frosted deer flakes (Show?)
Coco Chanel - Nestlé’s newest coffee flavor (ACS)
Honey Dicks - Best cereal name ever (ACS)
Dawson's Beard - A pudding flavor Ace saw at Whole Foods (ACS)
Mighty Mutts - Worst breakfast cereal ever (ADS)
Chillax - A cinnamon based drink from "Hector's" country (ACS)
Black Dick - An English desert (ACS)
Tardy Digression - Sounds like a finger food..."would you like another tardy digression?" "No, I'm saving room for the main meal" (IFYWABC)
Double Bird Strike - Mixed drink created by Ace and Teresa. Made with Grey Goose, Wild Turkey, a splash of Canadian Club, and a splash of Hudson River water (ACS)
GAYtorade - A sports drink for gay people, because they lose essential body fluids (ACS)
University of Illinois At Urbana Champaign - Sounds like a carbonated drink for black people (ACS)
Flinch Fuck - Part of a nutritious breakfast, and a healthy relationship (ADS)
Phantom Punch - Something Bill Cosby gave his lady friends (ACS)
Pansy Sauce - Goes good with some shrimp (ADS)
Tilted Pillar - Kick ass IPA (AOTH)
Shaver - A good name for a miniature pastrami sandwich (Cousin Sal Show)
GPA - Something they add to children's cereal (ACS)
Stellwell's - A new low fat snack cracker (ACS)
Conchata Ferrell - A great cheese/unwanted cat (ACS)
Poopwell's - One of the worst snacks Nabisco has ever put their name on (ACS)
Belldini – Latest Taco Bell offering (ACS)
Fuzzy Zoeller – Zima with a jigger of peach schnapps (ACS)
Millennial Malaise - A sweet honey dipping sauce (ADS)
Jelani Cobb - Sounds like an Indian dish (Gina) (ACS)
Air Doodle - The very worst Super Bowl snack on the planet (ACS)
Faygala - Jewish sports drink (ACS)
Stroke Cane - Sounds like some sugary treat, mixed with a reach around (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - good name for a mint (ACS)
Lesbian Squirt - Sponsor of the Dinah Shore Classic (ACS)
Son of Goose - Worst vodka ever. Comes in a plastic squeeze bottle (ACS)
Orange Hitler - Worst Hi-C flavor ever (ACS)

TV Shows/Movies

Cunt du' Jour - A great Bond villain name (ACS)
Coffee and Donuts - (Charlie Coffee III and Johnny Donetti) Johnny's a tough street wise cop whose jive talking and plays by his own rules and Charlie's super uptight (LL)
Pedoph Isle (aka) Pedophile Island - All pedophiles are sent to live on an isolated island, and a 747 full of Boy Scouts crash lands there and they have to fight to survive (Also a place) (ACS)
Anus and Eyeball - Buddy cop TV show duo (ACS)
Pussy Pioneer - John Candy's last movie (ACS)
Red Velvet - Made up movie character Clown played by Paul Giamatti. "Was secret service, and someone died on his watch. Now he's takin to clownin'." Wears a red velvet clown outfit. (ACS)
Destination Of The Semen - (Adam Ray) A movie Harrison Ford passed on twice (ACS)
Gay Eye - Movie where Adam plays Buddy McKlan, a racist homophobic mechanic who is blinded in a freak hot transmission fluid accident. He gets the donor eyes from a gay guy who perished on a moped accident in Antigua. Co-starring Larry the Cable Guy as his best friend. (Co-written by Bryan Cranston) (ACS)
Grinders - Sitcom where Jon Gruden moves in with Johnny Manziel (ACS)
Squishy Red River - Movie that started John Wayne (Show?)
Gusset And Cable - Perfect Cop buddy duo team (AOTH)
Just One Of The Gays - Stars Shia LaBeouf (ACS)
Hard Impact - Sounds like a Van Damme movie from the 90's (ACS)
Hammer Pants And Ice - Worst cop detective duo from the 80's (ACS)
Living With The Kilowatts - Adam's new animated series where they just leave toaster ovens on all day (ACS)
Keep Calm And Rape A Lot - Worst Monty Python film ever (ACS)
Medical Mishaps - New show Dave Coulier and Tawny Kitaen could host (ACS)
Roaming With Bison - Another great Bill Murray movie (ACS)
Gainesville Florida Financial Planner - Sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit (ACS)
Blame the Bee Gees - Adam's next documentary (ACS)
Adam Knees Your Dad In The Nuts - Adam's new game show (ACS)
Navigeddon - Terrorists take over all of the GPS systems of cars, and send them careening into the Grand Canyon (ACS)
Rings Of Honor - Terrorists take over Olympic training facility in Colorado Springs, and the athletes have to use their individual skills to escape. (Cameo by Randy Couture as the salty old coach) (ACS)
Endless Time/Ample Time For Backup - Adam's new Netflix series (ACS)
Tarred n' Feathered - Buddy flick starring a retarded guy and an Indian chief (Show?)
Mr. Will Doo And Can Doo - PSA Motivational cartoon bathroom characters Will Doo (Played by Will Arnette) and Can Doo is shaped like a toilet. Filmed in kitschy Clutch Cargo style animation (ADS)
Robot Lawyer - Great Phil Hartman bit (ACS)
Umpire News Network - Adam's channel with umpires reporting. Unbiased reporting (ACS)
Sofa Tard - New CW show coming soon (Matt) (AOTH)
Junior Fantasy Island - Show where kids of reckless parents are shipped off to live with Bill Cosby and Felicia Rashad (ADS)
2 And A Half Denali's - Hasn't been same since Sheen left (ACS)
So Kanye - Sitcom from the 90's (ACS)
Ridicuopothy - Sounds like a Mike Judge movie (ADS)
Master Buck - One of John Candy's most controversial movies (ACS)
LA HOTT (1) - An 80’s bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Mother Hitler - Coming to TNT. Starring Patrick Swayze's bother, Don (ACS)
Sink and Bounce - Movie about roller boogie from the 80's, starred Lil' Bow Wow (ACS)
The Debs - A made up CW network show where you just put all the hot chicks in Hollywood (ACS)
The Origin Story Of AIDS - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan)(ACS)
Everybody Hates Vinnie - Horrible sitcom (ACS)
Chick Clan - Good movie title (ACS)
Condo in Redondo - Best movie I ever did (ADS)
Red Lobsteria - New show Dr. Drew was talking about where African Americans form their own country (ACS)
Earthquake rehab - Reality show Dr. drew seismic expert and a civil engineer come together (Rainn Wilson) (ACS)
Rooster Jones - Great John Wayne movie. Super Fly meets True Grit (ACS)
Ernest Bigot goes to..... (ACS)
Nickels On The Job - First and only Jewish gum shoe on the job. ABC, Friday nights, 10:00 p.m. (ADS)
Solicitor General - Great Danny Kaye movie (RD)
Disjointed - Lorena Bobbitt biopic (ADS)
Habib and Company - Horrible children's show (MS)
Bobby's Room - Howie Mandel animated project from the 90's (ACS)
Page/Savage - Great cop duo show from the ‘80’s (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Paper Asshole - Great Tatum O’Neal film (ACS)
L.A. HOTT (2) - Failed Steven Bochco series pilot (ACS)
Pieces Of String Too Small To Use - Lena Dunham film from the late 90’s (ACS)
Oscar Squad - New Marvel Movie (Gina) (ACS)
Cortron/Melamine - Transformers (Gina) (ACS)
Anoscope - Worst way to see a movie (ADS)
Practical Rapist - New SNL character (Gina) (ACS)
Superfoot - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan) (ACS)
Celebrity Food Chain - Would be a great show (Jeff Cesario) (ACS)
Backsack and Anus - Worst cop duo ever (RS)
Korean moyle - ABC’s next sitcom (Jeff) ACS
Nanny Huntin ‘with Ted Nugent - Great reality show I’d watch (ACS)
Progressive pope - New sitcom (Gina) ACS
Nick Mancuso: Construction Fluffer - New TV Show (AONT)
Rush Blitzer - Adam’s character from his movie, “Snapper” (BSR)
The Baldwin’s and Beyond -Great reality show (RD)
The Rogue Deuce - The next Star Wars movie (ADS)
Mr. Goodbar To The Rescue - Ace loves that movie (ACS)
Wrestling Squatters - New show on YouTube Red starring Eric Stromer (AOTH)

Books/Coffee Table Books

Dade County Black Prom, 1985 (ACS)
Here Are The Pajamas We Picture You In (ACS)
Three Shitty Homes, One Washing Machine, Zero Dryers - Title of Adam's new book (Ray) (AOTH)
Chapstick And Batteries - Title of Adam's next bestselling book (ACS)
Who The Fuck Put Their Sombrero on My Keys? – Title of Adam’s next book (ACS)
Cunt With A Grunt - Adam's favorite Dr. Seuss book (PM)
You'll Never See A Cockroach Jog (PM)
Kemo Skinny Calves - Adam's new children's book (ADS)
You're Dyslexic And I'm Dumb - Adam and John Popper's collaborative next book (ACS)
I Get It If You’re GWAR - Adam's next book (ACS)
Bulk Magazine - Costco magazine that Jimmy Kimmell graced the cover of twice (ACS)
Do You Have To Take Your Top Off To Dye Your Pubes, Drew? (LL)
Glamping With Moriah - Adam's new book (ACS)
From The Mouths of Babes (Hot Chicks Not Babies) (ACS)
(The) Sweet Spot - Adam's next book (Bryan) (ACS)
I Thought Things Would Be Better When I Was Rich (ACS)
Radio Station Kitchen (ACS)
Post-it Notes In Radio Station Kitchens (ACS)
Comedy Club Green Rooms And The Sofas That Were Not Made For Them (ACS)
Jethro, the Mexican Jew - A great children's book (Gina) (ACS)
Professor and the Construction Worker -The worst children's book ever (ACS)
Willie and the Weed - Good name for a children's book (ACS)
What Black People Think White People Complain About (ACS)
Everyone Eventually Becomes The Man (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (1) - Name Of Adam’s next book (ACS)
In Defense Of Black Face - Adam’s next book (ACS)
Hurry Up And Make Sense (2) - Biography title of the Talking Heads (ACS)

Native American Names

Chief Thunderbear (LL)
Dances With Cocks (ACS)
Dances With Lipstick (ACS)
Ol' Urethra Windows (ACS)
Oxnard - Indian name meaning the balls of a bull (ACS)

V/P Names

Absorbent Rag - Good name for T's V (ACS)
Hurt Locker - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Judge's Mansion - Another name for T's G
Cmarket.com - Another name for T's V (ACS)
City of Industry - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Dutch Mook - Another name for T's V (ACS)s V
No Safe Spaces - Great name for T's V (ACS)
Hobo Stove - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Sausage Grinder - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Dixville Notch - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Snake River Canyon - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Dakota Access Pipeline - Another name for G's V (ACS)
The Holidome - Another name for G’s V (ACS)
Discovery Bay - Great name for G's V (ACS)
B.O. Box - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Sea bag - Good name for G's V (ACS)
El Portal - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Harry Belafonte - Adam's name for his junk, if he were a woman (Show?)
Top Gear - Another name for Adam’s junk (ACS)
El Gordo/King Taco - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
Port of Karachi - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
submitted by Texas1971 to AdamCarolla [link] [comments]


2018.07.22 20:17 tnyr Exclusive Case Study Solutions only on writerkingdom.com, Order Now and get 20% OFF with Coupon Code 'CCFD20'

Simply put us an email at [email protected] or visit http://writerkingdom.com/make-an-order-with-writerkingdom/ to make an order with writerkingdom for listed below or any of your assignment Problems that can be case studies, report writing, research essay, final exam, dissertation, Thesis or any other assignment. Only on writerkingdom.com
Solved Case Analysis: Oprah Winfrey Nancy F. Koehn Erica Helms Katherine Miller Rachel K. Wilcox
Solved Case Analysis: OptiGuard Inc. Series A Round Term Sheet by Susan Chaplinsky
Solved Case Analysis: Optimization and Expansion at Open Table Benjamin Edelman Karen L. Webster
Solved Case Analysis: Option Contracts and Their Valuation By Robert S. Harris Robert M. Conroy
Solved Case Analysis: Option Contracts and Their Valuation by Robert S. Harris Robert M. Conroy
Solved Case Analysis: Option Valuation and Dividend Payments by Robert S.Harris Robert M. Conroy
Solved Case Analysis: Options on Stock Indexes Currencies and Futures by Robert M. Conroy
Solved Case Analysis: ORANGEWERKS A QUESTION OF ETHICS Christina A. Cavanagh Ken Mark
Solved Case Analysis: Orascom Telecom Holding A Wind and Weather by L. J. III Bourgeois Henning Hoeber
Solved Case Analysis: Orascom Telecom Holding B Building a European Telco Unit by L. J. III Bourgeois Henning Hoeber
Solved Case Analysis: Orascom Telecom Holding C Condensed by L. J. III Bourgeois
Solved Case Analysis: Orascom Telecom Holding C The Ups and Downs of Going Global by L. J. III Bourgeois Henning Hoeber
Solved Case Analysis: Oregon Public Employees Retirement Fund Push and Pull Over GPLP Compensation by Susan Chaplinsky Elena Loutskina Rob Walsh
Solved Case Analysis: ORIX KK Malcolm S Salter Andrew Eggers
Solved Case Analysis: Ottawa Voyageurs Thomas J.Delong David L.Ager Scott Baldwin Chris Strong Andrew Feng Eliza Mody
Solved Case Analysis: OurPLANE Elizabeth M.A.Grasby Emily Saunders
Solved Case Analysis: Outdoor Living Spaces Company Financial Statement Overview by Mark E. Haskins
Solved Case Analysis: OutReach Networks First Venture Round By Susan Chaplinsky
Solved Case Analysis: OutReach Networks First Venture Round by Susan Chaplinsky
Solved Case Analysis: Outreach Networks
Solved Case Analysis: Outsourcing at Office Supply Inc. Mark Jeffery James Anfield Subhankar Bhowmick
Solved Case Analysis: Outsourcing Compulsion Andrew R Thomas Timothy J Wilkinson
Solved Case Analysis: P&G Japan The SK II Globalization Project Christopher A. Bartlett
Solved Case Analysis: P&G JAPAN THE SK II GLOBALIZATION PROJECT Christopher A Bartlett
Solved Case Analysis: Pacific Grove Spice Company William E. Fruhan Craig Stephenson
Solved Case Analysis: Pacific Century Cyberworks A Connecting to the World Andrew Delios Dennis Lai
Solved Case Analysis: Pacific Century Cyberworks B Broadband Access Across Asia Andrew Delios Dennis Lai
Solved Case Analysis: PacificLink iMedia Designing an Internet Business Andrew Delios
Solved Case Analysis: Paginas Amarelas By Robert F. Bruner Mario Wanderley
Solved Case Analysis: Palamon Capital Partners TeamSystem S.p.A.
Solved Case Analysis: Palamon Capital PartnersTeamSystem By Robert F. Bruner Chad Rynbrandt Sean Carr
Solved Case Analysis: Pan Europa Foods S.A. By Robert F. Bruner Casey S. Opitz
Solved Case Analysis: Panasonic Veggie Life High tech Salad by James Costantini
Solved Case Analysis: Pandesic The Challenges of a New Business Venture B Joseph L Bower Clark Gilbert
Solved Case Analysis: PANELpro Dan Dunn
Solved Case Analysis: Panera Bread Company by Marc L. Lipson
Solved Case Analysis: Parent Industries Inc. by Lawrence Weiss
Solved Case Analysis: Parity Conditions in International Markets by Marc L. Lipson
Solved Case Analysis: Partners Healthcare Joshua D Coval
Solved Case Analysis: PassAct Inc Andrew McAfee
Solved Case Analysis: Patagonia by Forest Reinhardt Ramon Casadesus Masanell Hyun Jin Kim
Solved Case Analysis: Patagonia Forest Reinhardt Ramon Casadesus Masanell Hyun Jin Kim
Solved Case Analysis: PatientsLikeMe Using Social Network Health Data to Improve Patient Care by Stephen E. Chick Francoise Simon Ridhima Aggarwal
Solved Case Analysis: Paul Capital and Project U Secondary Sales of Private Equity Stakes by Susan Chaplinsky Dan Mulderry
Solved Case Analysis: Paul Capital Partners Secondary Limited Partnership Investing By David S. Scharfstein
Solved Case Analysis: Paving the Road to Healthy Highways A Partnership to Scale Up HIVAIDS Clinics in Africa by Aline Gatignon Luk Van Wassenhove
Solved Case Analysis: Pelican Instruments Inc
Solved Case Analysis: Pelican Landing Instructions By Peter H. Farquhar
Solved Case Analysis: People Management Boris Groysberg
Solved Case Analysis: PepsiCos Bid for Quaker Oats Carliss Y. Baldwin Leonid Soudakov
Solved Case Analysis: Performance Management at Vitality Health Enterprises Inc. John B. Bingham Michael Beer
Solved Case Analysis: Performance Measurement with Factor Models by Richard B. Evans
Solved Case Analysis: Performance Pay for MGOA Physicians Jason R. Barro Aaron M.G. Zimmerman Kevin J. Bozic
Solved Case Analysis: PERFORMANCE PAY AT SAFELITE AUTO GLASS A Brian J Hall Carleen Madigan and Edward Lazear
Solved Case Analysis: Permafresh Corporation A Case in Entrepreneurial New Consumer Product Development by Shantanu Bhattacharya Andras Fehervary
Solved Case Analysis: Petrolera Zuata Petrozuata C.A. Benjamin C. Esty Mathew Mateo Millett
Solved Case Analysis: Pexco LLC by Michael J. Ho Elizabeth DiBiasi Peter Coyne Robert Marcus
Solved Case Analysis: Philip Morris Companies and Kraft Inc. By Richard S. Ruback
Solved Case Analysis: Philip Morris Companies Inc. B By Samuel L. Hayes Stephan Percoco
Solved Case Analysis: Philip McCrea Once an Entrepreneur A William W.George Andrew N.McLean
Solved Case Analysis: Philips versus Matsushita The Competitive Battle Continues Christopher A. Bartlett
Solved Case Analysis: Phon Tech Corporation By Robert F. Bruner
Solved Case Analysis: Phuket Beach Hotel Valuing Mutually Exclusive Capital Projects
Solved Case Analysis: Phuket Beach Hotel Valuing Mutually Exclusive Capital Projects By Su Han Cha Ko Wang Mary Ho
Solved Case Analysis: Physicians for You LLC Estimating Asset Related Expenses By Mark E. Haskins
Solved Case Analysis: PILLSBURY COOKIE CHALLENGE Allison Johnson and Natalie Mauro
Solved Case Analysis: Pine Products Inc. Value Drivers and Balanced Scorecard by S. David Young Regine Slagmulder
Solved Case Analysis: Pine Street Capital George Chacko Eli Peter Strick
Solved Case Analysis: Pioneers in Colombia By Nicolas P. Retsinas Lisa Strope
Solved Case Analysis: PIPES Private Equity Investments in Distressed Firms By Susan Chaplinsky
Solved Case Analysis: Pittinos Financial Advisers LLC by Marc L. Lipson Richard B. Evans
Solved Case Analysis: Pittinos Financial Advisors LLC By Marc Lipson Richard B. Evans
Solved Case Analysis: Pixonix Inc. Addressing Currency Exposure By Colette Southam Karim Moolani
Solved Case Analysis: PlanetTran Lauren H.Cohen Christopher Malloy
Solved Case Analysis: Play Time Toy Co. By Thomas R. Piper
Solved Case Analysis: Playa Dorada Tennis Club Expansion Strategy W. Earl Sasser Jr. Brent Kazan
Solved Case Analysis: PlayStation 3 vs. XBox 360 Video Game Consoles in the US in 2006 by Karel Cool Petros Paranikas
Solved Case Analysis: Polaris Management The Logstor Ror AS Journey By Susan Chaplinsky Julie Engell Elena Loutskina
Solved Case Analysis: POLYSAR LIMITED AND TORNAC RUBBER J. Michael Geringer William Pursell
Solved Case Analysis: Porcinis Pronto Great Italian cuisine without the wait James L. Heskett Richard Luecke
Solved Case Analysis: Portfolio Selection and the Capital Asset Pricing Model by Marc L. Lipson
Solved Case Analysis: Power Play A Nintendo in 8 bit Video Games Adam Brandenburger Julia Kou Monique Burnett
Solved Case Analysis: Powerwater Beverages Jeffrey P. Shay Bambi Douma Tony Crawford Josh Herbold
Solved Case Analysis: Pravda Asset Management by Michael Lenox Richard B. Evans
Solved Case Analysis: Precision Worldwide Inc. William J. Bruns Jr.
Solved Case Analysis: Prediction Markets at Google Peter A.Coles Karim R.Lakhani Andrew McAfee
Solved Case Analysis: Pricewaterhouse Coopers Addressing the Indian Ocean Tsunami Disaster by Jacob Cohen Chad Myers
Solved Case Analysis: Pricewaterhouse Coopers Education and Leadership Development by Jacob Cohen Chad Myers
Solved Case Analysis: Primary Integration LLC Lower Middle Market Investment by Susan Chaplinsky Jiaxin Yang
Solved Case Analysis: Prime Micro Inc. By Kenneth Eades Jay Thaker
Solved Case Analysis: Prime Micro Inc. by Kenneth M. Eades Jay Thacker
Solved Case Analysis: PrimeGeo A Buying Shares from an Angry Partner Confidential Instructions for Ann PrimeGeo Partner by Rodrigo Gouveia Horacio Falcao
Solved Case Analysis: PrimeGeo B Buying Shares from an Angry Partner Confidential Instructions for Thomas by Rodrigo Gouveia Horacio Falcao
Solved Case Analysis: PrimeGeo C Buying Shares from an Angry Partner Confidential Instructions for Ann and John PrimeGeo Partner by Rodrigo Gouveia Horacio Falcao
Solved Case Analysis: PrimeGeo D Buying Shares from an Angry Partner Confidential Instructions for Karen PrimeGeo Partner by Rodrigo Gouveia Horacio Falcao
Solved Case Analysis: Primus Automation Division 2002
Solved Case Analysis: Primus Automation Division By Robert F. Bruner Robert Hengelbrok
Solved Case Analysis: Prince S.A. Valuation of a Cross Border Joint Venture by Gabriel Hawawini Claude Viallet 1
Solved Case Analysis: Prince S.A. Valuation of a Cross Border Joint Venture by Gabriel Hawawini Claude Viallet 2
Solved Case Analysis: Prince S.A. Valuation of a Cross Border Joint Venture by Gabriel Hawawini Claude Viallet 3
Solved Case Analysis: Prince S.A. Valuation of a Cross Border Joint Venture by Gabriel Hawawini Claude Viallet 4
Solved Case Analysis: Prince S.A. Valuation of a Cross Border Joint Venture by Gabriel Hawawini Claude Viallet
Solved Case Analysis: Principal Protected Equity Linked Note by Pedro Matos
Solved Case Analysis: Printicomms Proposed Acquisition of Digitech Negotiating Price and Form of Payment By Scott Siegler
Solved Case Analysis: Private Equity in Frontier Markets Creating a Fund in Georgia by Bowen White Michael Prahl Anne Marie Carrick Bernardo Bluhm Alves
Solved Case Analysis: Pro invest How to Launch a Private Equity Real Estate Fund by Anne Marie Carrick Bowen White Claudia Zeisberger
Solved Case Analysis: PROCTER & GAMBLE FACELLE DIVISION FACIAL TISSUE Terry H. Deutscher
Solved Case Analysis: PROCTER & GAMBLE IN EASTERN EUROPE A Jeffrey Gandz David W. Conklin Maurice Smith Asa
Solved Case Analysis: PROCTER & GAMBLE PUR PURIFIER OF WATER TM A DEVELOPING THE PRODUCT AND TAKING IT TO MARKET By Margaret Hanson Karen Powell
Solved Case Analysis: Procter and Gamble Cost of Capital By Kenneth Eades
Solved Case Analysis: Prodigy Network Democratizing Real Estate Design and Financing Karim R. Lakhani Katja Hutter Greta Friar
Solved Case Analysis: Product Safety and Preemptive Recalls by Daniel G. Arce Mary Gentile
Solved Case Analysis: Profit Maximization and Layoffs by Daniel G. Arce Mary Gentile
submitted by tnyr to u/tnyr [link] [comments]


2018.07.04 00:48 Paulsaysthought Survivor Maryland All Stars Episode 11 Blog "What's Wrong With You People?!"

EPISODE 11 SPOILERS START HERE
Episode 11 of Survivor Maryland All Stars was a tale of decisions. Both alliances had to decide where to place their votes (Neither one did a particularly great job). Both alliances had to decide whether or not they were willing to draw rocks for their respective alliances (Most people actually made the right choice, but we'll get to that). One alliance had to choose the most giggle inducing double entendre to call themselves (Nailed it). And I had to choose whether to fill this blog with jokes and puns that will probably get me fired if any future employer ever finds it. So, without any further ado, close your eyes, take a deep breath and prepare for a new feeling... A blog where we don't spend half our time talking about Chris LeCompte.
We open after Tribal Council and there seems to be a tone of stunned silence for most of the remaining players, but for one, it's ChrisTmas. Yes, like Jerri Manthey, Chris Thomas is calling for the bellboy, because all his Survivor Maryland baggage has been picked up. Additionally after Schuble told us last week he didn't want to break up a friendship, he seems to be taking an awful lot of glee in the fact that Shannon turned on LeCompte. And even though they call themselves the Bottoms, it's Evan and Micah who are forced to grit their teeth and take a pounding from the 5 LeCompte voters who apparently never had to take a lit class at UMD based on the amount of hubris we're seeing from them post-Tribal.
On the top side of things, Eric is sad that his roomie is gone, but he thinks this is a signal that it's his time to step up and lead, which is sort of like Jeb Bush thinking he'd make a good president. To be fair, I like to dog on Eric and I'm going to do it more later (because, like making puns about a bunch of people calling themselves The Bottom Alliance, it's just too easy), but he's actually in a decent position and whether or not he pulls off the partner twist, he may actually be poised to make a deep run, and if he can Mike Holloway his way to the end with some combo of floaters, could actually win? (Probs not, but it's on the board)
Schuble is back to his old self, and recognizes he's probably drawing dead, so he's just going to go full Siona and be the most interesting player. He tells us "When somebody starts to stray, I tell them another secret to keep them close again", which is really about 8 inches away from being full David KoreSchuble. I can totally see why the shine is wearing off Schuble for his castmates, but because he has a way of letting the viewers in on his thinking, I still can't get enough.
The next scene inexplicably starts with Micah climbing down a ladder dressed like the 2018 version of the construction worker in the Village People (AKA the original bottom alliance). He's getting a new award this week I'm calling the Testudon't, because he's telling Evan they definitely have Alex and that because of that, they should split the votes at 6-4? I'm still a pretty big Micah fan and him bringing back the World's Coolest Aunt is going to put him back in my good graces, but this conversation is making Evan look like Kim Spradlin and not the new Oprah. (Sidenote, why is Evan talking about Oprah so much? It's 2015. Oprah is not in the news. Is this like a Drake and Josh thing? I need answers.)
Before I can go too far down that rabbit hole, it's time for dizzy bat and I am HYPE (and not just because a bunch of dudes seeing how long they can stay down on a long cylinder makes my job waaaaaaay easier). But, before we get there, Schuble goes to pee by a dumpster and the rest of the cast loses their collective minds and chases him. There's no nuanced way to write that. Schuble is so unbelievably in the heads of the rest of the cast that everyone (tops, bottoms and Alex G who I suppose qualifies as vers?), straight up follows him to make sure he's only committing indecent exposure and not finding an idol. It's one of the kookiest scenes in Survivor Maryland history and it serves to prove that the entire cast has absolutely stopped caring about normal adult behavior, and further have completely stopped caring how they look on camera. In reality television, this is generally a very very good sign. (Also, speaking of decisions, RA Austin wants everyone to settle down and listen to the rules, but producer Austin pretty clearly sent a crew member to film Schuble peeing).
But, let's not forget about dizzy bat obstacle course, which should obviously be an Olympic sport by now. Victoria amusingly takes a tumble and the rest of this challenge is basically staggering, so the final 3 comes down to Evan, Schuble and Chris. There's a spelling component to the final round, so we know Evan's not going to win, and in a challenge about stumbling around in a dizzy stupor, there can only be one winner, Last Chris Standing. Chris Thomas has officially made it further than he did in Outback and in a season that started out with people laughing at the idea of Chris Thomas the hero, is it possible we've come full circle? People seem genuinely happy for Chris winning immunity, he's built a social game that pays dividends and it seems like he's got a decent grip on the game strategically. At this point in the game, he may be a bottom, but I think it's pretty safe to say, Chris Thomas is in the Power Bottom spot.
After the challenge, everybody hangs out for a while and the question quickly becomes about who will have more endurance, the tops or the bottoms. For the second week in a row, though, the lynchpin of the whole game is Alex! I've been cracking jokes on him for, well, 11 episodes now, but Alex's relationship with Evan/Micah and ChrisToria is what gives him the juice to float between both alliances and based on what we've heard from him this far, makes me wonder if he might have the Survivor knowledge to play this correctly. I mean, Chris gives him the clue and everybody in the game thinks they're entitled to see it, so maybe Alex has more relationships than we're aware of? Or maybe they all think he's an idiot, who knows? Eric and Chris Thomas get into a little tiff over the clue which is the first real test of Eric's new "leadership". At one point, he uses the phrase "I don't lie to you that much", which, well, pretty much sums up the Eric King administration.
Continuing the trend of shockingly kooky things happening this episode, Alex has the absolute confessional of the episode! So, basically, what happened is that Evan and his alliance waited until Alex left his dorm at 2:30am and followed him to the idol spot. Totally normal adult behavior. At one point, Evan pats down Alex and grabs his bottom with both hands (again, totally normal adult behavior), and Holli calls it a "Survivor Party", but it doesn't look like anybody's having any fun (which is, of course, what's going to happen when you throw a party with a bunch of tops and only one bottom). 39:00 is the beginning of the Alex G #SurvivorBreakdown featuring an impassioned "They stalked me...They stalked me!" and oh no, I'm starting to like Alex. He's out of the shadows, he's in the light, people can't stop touching his butt, this is uncharted territory for Alex.
We start the lead up to Tribal and it really starts to look like we're headed for rocks. We get some very strange scenes including Micah in an Dolphins jersey (FashionWatch), Shannon in the bathtub talking to Schuble (Again, totally normal adult behavior), a brief discussion about how Eric left Ashley crying on the side of Route 1 (Which, what?!? We're really not gonna hear anything more about that?!?) and Schuble reminding us that he can't play his idol because he's Val Collins-ed this situation and he has nothing! The whole lead up feels like the middle act of a great play and Tribal Council is the grand finale.
Tribal Council begins and out of the shadows comes the GOAT jury foreman Chris LeCompte, carrying a gallon jug like he's the Headless Horseman. The lead up to the vote is remarkable in how unremarkable it is, except for the extended conversation about how all the tops are stalkers, Evan especially. (Sidenote, Chris LeCompte looks happier here than he did his entire time in the game and between his spot on the jury and all the water he's drinking, the dude is absolutely glowing throughout all the drama)
Next is the vote and here's where the blunders begin:
-Why are the tops voting for Alex? He's easily the most likely to flip on a revote, a vote for Victoria would almost certainly entice Shannon to flip, a vote for Shannon would deeeefinitely entice Victoria to flip, a vote for Schuble might bait any of them to flip and get the big dog and his idol (albeit fake) out of the game. This is really bad.
-Why are the bottoms voting for Evan? He's pretty well plugged in to Ashley, Eric and Holli, a vote for Ashley at least tempts somebody like Micah (or maybe Eric, if he's already leaving her on the side of the road), a vote for Holli gives Eric a chance to cut her down and maybe make the bro thing happen, and a vote for Micah gives everybody a chance to bring Evan (who they all seem to like) closer.
It's bad all around, in my opinion and even though, we're probably going to rocks either way, this just feels like suboptimal play. After the vote gets tied, Schuble is so excited and at this point, my heart starts to pound, no joke (totally normal adult behavior). In any rock draw situation, the question has to be asked "Who should've flipped?". Contrary to popular belief, not many of the people here. It would be bad for any of the bottoms, because Chris is immune, Schuble's the ringleader and the clear next target, Shannon doesn't get any closer to the partner twist and even for Victoria it's bad statistics because the bottoms only have three rock drawers to the tops four. For the tops, Micah's not turning on Evan, Ashley has nothing to go to on the other side, Holli has no motivation to go to a side that includes Schuble and Shannon.
That leaves Eric, the self proclaimed dominant top. Sure, Eric likes Evan, but he likes Micah too. Losing Evan at this point leaves Micah with nowhere to turn and it gives him a great opportunity to pull Shannon in with the incentive of the partners twist. Where are Holli and Ashley going? If Eric votes out Evan, then pulls Shannon in to vote out Victoria, he has a shot at winning the partners twist and being safe at final 8, even if rocks have to be drawn again. He's the only person here who I think missed a big shot, and even then, it's not an unforgivable error.
By the time we get to the second tie, my pulse in unabashedly racing and the wildest thing is, I don't know what I'm rooting for (besides more shots of Chris LeCompte on the jury because dude is working it). There's magic in the underdogs flipping the game on a rock draw reversing the curse of Guts and Glory, but then there's also magic in Evan and Micah literally reversing the curse of Guts and Glory! It would be crazy to see the partner twist won on a rock draw, but it would be equally crazy to still have two sets of partners in the game at Final 9!
In the time it takes my mind to race through all the scenarios I hear Austin say "Keep your hand out and your fist closed" (nice), and we're off to the races. The hands open and my heart sinks as the purple rock belongs to one Jordan Schuble. Evan and Eric are thrilled, Ashley is jaw dropped, Eric thinks he won the partner twist and the whole thing ends with a genuinely warm embrace between LeCompte and Schuble. He takes his exit about as gracefully as anyone could in that situation and just like that, the absolute apocalypse that has been this merge claims another legend.
What is there to say about Schuble's run in all stars? He comes into a cast of 19 heavy hitters as an unknown quantity to both competitors and fans and through an 11 episode run becomes the season's most active figure, charming narrator and unique personality. He plays harder through his run on all stars than most can even dream of and his creative style, outside the box thinking and, frankly, brass balls made All Stars must see TV every Monday. Not only that, he's been active in the fandom, had the ability to laugh at himself and overall, has proven that, through all the Schu-Bull, both the man and the monster are going to leave an enormous hole in the rest of the season (Couldn't resist one more double entendre, sorry bud).
This week's Top 3 is really a mess, because I have no idea where this season is headed, but here's some guesses in no particular order:
-Holli: I think Holli has a path to the end on her side and in front of a jury she'll be well-spoken and have a lot to speak about
-Chris Thomas: Yes, still. You'll never catch me betting against a guy who's proven his ability to weasel out of all kinds of trouble and has the social relationships to capitalize on.
-Micah: He still doesn't have the resume, but if he can make a big move or two and sit in the end with someone who's done even less, he could charm his way into an all stars win.
submitted by Paulsaysthought to survivor [link] [comments]


2017.08.18 01:31 feedreddit The Atlantic Daily: Responding to Violence

The Atlantic Daily: Responding to Violence
by Rosa Inocencio Smith via Master Feed : The Atlantic
URL: http://ift.tt/2wkRy6g

What We’re Following

Terror in Barcelona: At the tourist site Las Ramblas, a van was driven into a crowd of pedestrians, killing 13 and injuring 50. Spanish police arrested a suspect who has been identified as a Moroccan-born man, Driss Oubaker. ISIS claimed responsibility for the attack, but not before President Trump described it as “terror” on Twitter—a rapid response that stands in direct contrast to his expressed reluctance to make a statement on the similar attack in Charlottesville without knowing the facts.
About the Alt-Right: Though some in the alt-right have attempted to distance themselves from white supremacy, a new study of self-described members reveals repugnant views of other ethnic and religious groups. As American institutions from the military to music streaming services grapple with how to respond to such hate, Conor Friedersdorf proposes a framework for firing people with hateful beliefs without putting freedom of expression at risk.
On the Horizon: Though it comes at what many see as an ominous political moment, Monday’s solar eclipse will likely stay removed from politics—Trump hasn’t announced plans to celebrate the rare event. Many religious groups, however, are planning to take the awe-inspiring spectacle as an opportunity to spread their faith. If you’ve put off making plans, here’s a procrastinator’s guide to experiencing the cosmic wonder.
Rosa Inocencio Smith

Snapshot

Wildflowers in “superbloom” cover the hillsides at California’s Carrizo Plain National Monument, one of several areas of land whose monument status may be revoked after an executive order by President Trump. As Trump speaks up for the preservation of “beautiful” Confederate monuments, Robinson Meyer asks: What kind of history does the president value? (Sumiko Scott / Getty)

Evening Read

Julie Beck on why calls for anger and worry on social media won’t save the world:
Studies show that anxiety can interfere with decision-making and working memory. … If that stress and worry become chronic, [psychologist Renee] Lertzman adds, “people get overwhelmed. They burn out and short-circuit and turn their backs on the very issues that they care most deeply about.” …
Part of the problem is that people feel that they _should_be worried—that worrying is a good and productive thing to do. And then they log in to Twitter or Facebook, and see their friends and others they admire reinforcing that message: Yes, you should be worried. And if you’re not, what’s wrong with you?
Keep reading here, as Julie explores the difference between anxiety and action.

What Do You Know … About Global Affairs?

President Trump has escalated his rhetoric against foreign countries—but what happens when the world doesn’t take him seriously anymore? The president began last week by threatening Kim Jong Un with “fire and fury like the world has never seen,” but there has been little evidence of an increase in U.S. military preparedness near the Korean Peninsula. And while Trump evoked the possibility of a “military option” to deal with President Nicolas Maduro’s authoritarian actions in Venezuela, the Pentagon has received no such orders. Maduro himself is using the threat to stir up nationalist sentiments.
Can you remember the other key facts from this week’s global coverage? Test your knowledge below:_1. The new sanctions that China imposed on North Korea in response to recent aggression are expected to cost the North about $\___________ a year.
Scroll down for the answer, or find it here.
  1. By some estimates, as many as ____________ Hindus leave Pakistan every year for India.
Scroll down for the answer, or find it here._3. The worst mass killing in modern Egyptian history, which arguably marked the end of the Arab Spring, took place at the \___________ mosque in Cairo.
_Scroll down for the answer, or find it here._—Annabelle Timsit
Answers:1 billion /5,000 / Rabaa al-Adawiya

Help Us Find the Longest-Running _Atlantic_Subscription

For our 160th-anniversary issue, we’re searching for the person who’s been subscribing to _The Atlantic_for the greatest number of years—going back even further than our subscription records do. So far, the year to beat is 1947. If you or someone you know has been reading even longer, please fill out this form to tell us how long you’ve been subscribing, and a little bit about your _Atlantic_story.

Urban Developments

Our partner site _CityLab_explores the cities of the future and investigates the biggest ideas and issues facing city dwellers around the world. Gracie McKenzie shares three of today’s top stories:
This week, the “Monumental City” of Baltimore showed America how to take down its Confederate statues, in a skillfully executed night raid on the Lost Cause. But what should they do with the now-empty pedestals? And which monuments will be next?
“When you look at Stockton, 35 percent of our population is foreign-born. So it’s not just some marginal group, it’s our city. We are a city of immigrants.” Meet the 26-year-old mayor who’s taking on Jeff Sessions.
Two months after the fatal Grenfell Tower fire, London is still struggling to understand what happened. But with every passing week, it's becoming clearer that it’s more than a story of negligence.
For more updates from the urban world, subscribe to _CityLab_’s daily newsletter.

Reader Response

The TAD group is discussing Jon Marcus’s article about how students at wealthier suburban schools have inflated grades compared to their peers at lower-income urban schools. One reader writes:
The pressure I've seen put on teachers to inflate grades is ridiculous. I’ve observed a belief among parents that straight A’s should be achievable as long as their student is willing to work hard enough and play by the rules, which is something I do not believe. When they have the time and access to pressure teachers and administrators, they have an effect. Add to that the extra credit, study sessions, and grade negotiation that I’ve seen go on, and it really makes you question the idea of meritocracy in our schools.
Read the article here, and find more reader discussion here.

Verbs

Reflections sniffed, ice zombies doubted, presidency accelerated, common ground found.

Time of Your Life

Happy birthday to Amanda (a year younger than Macintosh computers); to John (twice the age of YouTube); to Grace’s son-in-law Devin (a year younger than Game Boys); to Ayodele (twice the age of Harry Potter); to Tiago (a year younger than Shark Week); to Ian’s wife, Suzanne (a year younger than Keynesian economics); to Ralph (the same age as transcontinental TV broadcasts); to Nancy’s friend Diana (15 years older than Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk); to Karen (twice the age of The Oprah Winfrey Show); to Anna’s father (a year younger than Nineteen Eighty-Four); and to Mary Lou’s daughter Isabel (the same age as Hong Kong’s independence from Britain). And Michael’s mother, Sharon (the same age as the Voting Rights Act) shares a birthday with his father, Colin (a year younger than NASA).
Do you or a loved one have a birthday coming up? Sign up for a birthday shout-out here, and click here to explore the Timeline feature for yourself.
Meet_The Atlantic _Daily’s team here. To contact us, email [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Did you get this newsletter from a friend? Sign yourself up here.
submitted by feedreddit to arableaks [link] [comments]


2017.06.19 21:08 feedreddit Crazy in Love: A Comprehensive Timeline of Jay Z and Beyoncé’s Relationship

Crazy in Love: A Comprehensive Timeline of Jay Z and Beyoncé’s Relationship
by Cady Lang via TIME
URL: http://ift.tt/2rJrj8I
Beyoncé and Jay Z’s relationship is the stuff of pop culture legend. Over the course of almost two decades, the ultimate power couple has done everything from collaborate on music to tour together. And while their relationship hasn’t always been drama-free, there’s no doubt that Jay and Bey are committed. In honor of the birth of their twins, here’s a comprehensive primer on Beyoncé and Jay Z’s relationship.
1997 – 2000: Sometime during this three-year period, Jay Z and Beyoncé meet for the first time. Exactly when depends on the interview. In a 2007 interview with Charlie Rose, Jay Z said he met Beyoncé “10 years ago,” which would place their first meeting around 1997. However, in a 2008 interview with Seventeen, Beyoncé says that she first met the rap mogul when she was 18 (around 1999 or 2000) and that they began dating when she was 19.
November 2001: The pair appear on the cover of _Vanity Fair_‘s music issue alongside David Bowie, Gwen Stefani and others. According to an interview with _Vanity Fair_in 2013, Jay Z says that during this shoot, they were “just beginning to try to date each other,” and that at the time, he was still trying to “wine and dine” her.
October 2002: In her first post-Destiny’s Child work, Beyoncé is featured on Jay Z’s 2002 track “’03 Bonnie & Clyde;” she also appears as the ride-or-die Bonnie to Jay Z’s Clyde in the accompanying video. Jay Z’s use of the term “girlfriend” only heightened the romantic narrative of the song, sending tongues wagging about a potential romance between Beyoncé and Jay Z.
In a 2016 interview with BET, Roc-A-Fella founder Kareem “Biggs” Burke said that this song signaled to him and Damon Dash that Jay Z was really in love with Beyoncé.
“There was a time in Paris when they sent us ‘Bonnie & Clyde,’” he said. “When we heard that song, Dame looked at me and said ‘Yo, he’s in love.’ So if y’all know Jay, a lot of times everything comes out in music. When he does interviews he’s a little more reluctant to speak about certain things. But it always comes out in his albums; so at that time when ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ came out we knew he was in love with Beyoncé.”
November 2002: Although Bey and Jay are keeping mum about a relationship, they show up in matching denim ensembles (and Bey rocks Jay’s signature Yankees cap, natch) to promote “’03 Bonnie & Clyde” on MTV’s _Total Request Live._During this appearance, Beyoncé also says that they “met a long time ago.”
February 2003: Jay Z and Beyoncé are photographed together at the NBA All-Star Game Weekend, one of a number of outings that year.
April 2003: Lest anyone get the wrong idea about their chummy relationship, however, Jay Z sets the record straight in an interview with Playboy: “We’re just cool. We’re just friends.”
May 2003: Beyoncé releases “Crazy in Love,” as the lead single off her first solo album, _Dangerously in Love._Jay Z contributes a rap verse and features prominently as her love interest in the accompanying music video. Needless to say, their respective fans and most of the world assume that the two are more than just friends.
June 2003: _Dangerously in Love_officially drops. The album features another duet with Jay Z, “That’s How You Like It,” and perhaps more interesting, a reference to her love for a Sagittarius on the song “Signs” with Missy Elliott; Jay Z, born on Dec. 4, is a Sagittarius.
August 2003: The dynamic duo perform “Crazy in Love” at the MTV Video Music Awards.
November 2003: Jay Z releases The Black Album; on his song “Public Service Announcement,” he makes the declaration that he’s got the “hottest chick in the game wearing my chain,” which is widely believed to be about Beyoncé.
Later that month, Jay holds a “retirement” concert at Madison Square Garden where he and Beyoncé perform “Crazy in Love” together.
December 2003: In an interview with The Guardian, Jay Z is referred to as Beyoncé’s boyfriend.
August 2004: Bey and Jay make their first red carpet appearance at the 2004 MTV Video Music Awards together in some very memorable matching ensembles.
Frank Micelotta—Getty Images2005: Rumors that Jay Z is having a relationship with then up-and-coming singer Rihanna surface. The author of an unauthorized Beyoncé biography, J. Randy Taraborrelli, told _Entertainment Tonight_in a 2015 interview that the unsubstantiated affair was fabricated for the tabloids to “boost Rihanna’s career.” Bey’s father and manager Matthew Knowles does not address the rumors until the following year in a lengthy press release that it’s a “consistent plan by some to create chaos around Beyoncé’s _B’Day_release.”
January 2006: Trouble rumors swap out for rumors of wedding bells after an interview with Cosmopolitan when Beyoncé hints at a possible wedding.
“Right now, the tabloids are saying I’m pregnant, and they’re naming the baby,” she said. “It’s hilarious. I don’t know when I’ll want to get married. I never pictured myself as a bride, but after my sister’s wedding, I did start thinking about what kind of wedding I’d want. I don’t think I want a big one.”
September 2006: Beyoncé releases her second album _B’Day,_which includes two duet tracks with Jay Z: “Dèjá Vu” and “Upgrade U.”
In the “Upgrade U” video, Beyoncé dresses up like Jay Z and lip syncs some of his rap verse.
Matthew Knowles releases a statement denying several rumors including the ones about Rihanna, suggesting they are an attempt to sabotage the album’s success following the release of B’Day. The album prominently featured a number of joyful love songs, but “Ring the Alarm” and “Resentment” get the rumor mill going as some fans speculated the lyrics to “Resentment” in particular could have been inspired by an affair.
November 2006: Jay Z releases the album Kingdom Come, which includes the song “Lost One.” The song’s introspective lyrics read “I don’t think it’s meant to be, B/But she loves her work more than she does me/And honestly, at 23/I would probably love my work more than I did she.”
Later, in 2010, Jay Z addresses the lyrics in his book, _Decoded:_“These lines are about trying to have a real, serious relationship with another ambitious professional. In a lot of ways, this is the flip side of the songs in my catalog like ‘Big Pimpin’, where women exist almost completely as predators or objects. This is about how difficult it is to respect a lover as an autonomous human being, with separate needs and goals and timelines than yours. It’s one of the hardest things about a real relationship of equals. But it’s worth it.”
The album also features “Hollywood,” a collaboration with Beyoncé.
April 2008: Beyoncé and Jay Z tie the knot in a top-secret ceremony at Jay Z’s penthouse apartment in NYC on April 4, 2008. The date is an homage to the significance of the number 4 in the couple’s life; both Bey and Jay are born on the 4th (Beyoncé’s birthday is Sept. 4 while Jay’s is Dec. 4.) In lieu of wedding rings, Jay and Bey get the Roman numeral “IV” tattooed on their fourth/ring fingers.
While the couple kept the wedding under wraps, without releasing photos or video, wedding footage makes its way into the “On the Run” tour visuals and on Beyoncé’s 2016 visual album Lemonade. It’s an uber-private ceremony — in a 2009 interview with Oprah, Jay Z says it was a small affair.
9 years already??? Congratulations to the Carters❤❤on their Anniversary 💐 ( thats my arm fixing the dress lol) Thats my minister Rudy Rasmus who married Solange, Beyonce and me❤
A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Apr 4, 2017 at 7:11am PDT
October 2008: Beyoncé offers a rare glimpse of what her relationship with Jay Z is really like during an interview with _Essence:_“We decide everything. My word is my word. What Jay and I have is real. It’s not about interviews or getting the right photo op. It’s real.” She also shares that she didn’t want an engagement ring because “people put too much emphasis on that. It’s just material and it’s just silly to me.”
During this month, Beyoncé also released “Single Ladies” and “If I Were a Boy” as the first singles off her third studio album I Am…Sasha Fierce. Producer Christopher “Tricky” Stewart commented in a 2014 interview with _Texas Music Magazine_that at the time, the song was “the only public statement [Beyoncé and Jay-Z] ever made about marriage.”
January 2009: Jay Z and Beyoncé solidify their status as a power couple by joining forces with President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama. The Carter-Knowles were vocal supporters of Obama during the 2008 presidential election and made high-profile appearances at both the Inauguration and an inaugural ball. Beyoncé performed “America the Beautiful” at the Obama Inaugural Concert and “At Last” for the first dance at the Neighborhood Ball.
April 2010: While Beyoncé is taking a break from her music that many believe is due to pregnancy, she makes a surprise appearance at Jay Z’s Coachella set that year to help him sing “Forever Young.”
October 2010: Beyoncé’s mother, Tina Knowles, tells _Access Hollywood_that there’s no truth to the talk of pregnancy. “No, it’s not true right now,” she said. “It’s gonna happen when it’s time, but not right now.”
May 2011: In a blog post on his website Life + Times, Jay Z posts a video that he took of Beyoncé rehearsing for an American Idol_performance, captioning it “Sometimes you need perspective. You’ve been right in front of greatness so often that you need to step back and see it again for the first time. This is the dressing room rehearsal for _American Idol. NO MICROPHONE. No effects.”
June 2011: Beyoncé releases her fourth studio album, appropriately titled 4, after the couple’s favorite number. This is her first studio album that doesn’t feature Jay Z on any of the songs. Of the many love songs on the album, “Countdown” leads fans to theorize about a future pregnancy.
August 2011: Jay Z and Kanye West release joint album Watch the Throne; Beyoncé appears on the track “Lift Off.” Later that month before performing at the MTV Video Music Awards, Beyoncé announces her pregnancy by asking the audience to “feel the love that’s growing inside of me.”
At the end of her performance, she unbuttons her sequined tuxedo jacket to reveal her growing baby bump — much to the unbridled delight of the audience, Kanye West and pretty much the entire world. The announcement even sets a Guinness World Record for the most tweets per second recorded for a single event at the overwhelming rate of 8,868 tweets per second.
January 2012: Beyoncé gives birth to Blue Ivy Carter on Jan. 7, 2012 in New York City. The couple releases an official joint statement about the heir to the Knowles-Carter legacy: “Her birth was emotional and extremely peaceful – we are in heaven. She was delivered naturally at a healthy 7 lbs. It was the best experience of both of our lives. We are thankful to everyone for all your prayers, well wishes, love and support.” Many see Blue’s middle name Ivy as a homonym for the Roman numeral IV, pointing to the Knowles-Carters’ affinity for the number.
About a week later, Jay Z posts the Neptunes-produced song “Glory” on his website, which commemorates the birth of Blue Ivy, most notably by including a clip of her cries at the conclusion of the song and giving her a credit on the song as B.I.C. (Blue Ivy is the youngest person to ever appear on a Billboard chart.)
The song is uncharacteristically revealing about the long-awaited joy Blue Ivy has brought them with lyrics like “False alarms and false starts/All made better by the sound of your heart/All the pain of the last time” and “My most greatest creation was you.” Jay also has some touching homages to Bey in the song, including a reference to her past life as a member of Destiny’s Child: “You’re a child of destiny/You’re a child of my destiny/You’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child/That’s a hell of a recipe.”
February 2012: The Knowles-Carters post the first pictures of Blue Ivy on her own, now-defunct Tumblr. The Internet, predictably, loses it.
May 2012: Jay Z makes a rare display of public affection on Twitter about his wife.
"I'm gonna say this and then I'm gonna end mine." BEYONCE is the best performer in the world. Period.
— Mr. Carter (@S_C_) May 26, 2012
August 2012: The Carter-Knowles surpass Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen as _Forbes’_highest-paid celebrity couple at an estimated combined $78 million.
January 2013: Beyoncé sings the national anthem at Obama’s second inauguration.
That same month, Ora takes to Twitter to vehemently deny the rumor she’s having an affair with her then-Roc Nation mentor Jay Z.
February 2013: Beyoncé releases her HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream, which features footage of intimate and romantic moments.
Beyoncé also denies rumors that she wasn’t actually pregnant with Blue Ivy.
An especially poignant part of the film shows the pair singing Coldplay’s “Yellow” together. Later in 2015, Jay Z will select this song as his pick for her birthday playlist, citing that “This song reminds me of you and I on vacation. ‘Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.’ So many legendary nights. It represents vulnerability; it’s us in our own world, away from work and totally lost in love. ‘For you, I’ll bleed myself dry.'”
This month, Beyoncé also reveals to Oprah that she suffered a miscarriage before Blue Ivy; she also sheds light on how her marriage helped shape her self-concept. “I would not be the woman I am if I did not go home to that man,” Beyoncé said. “It gives me such a foundation.”
April 2013: The couple celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary in Cuba with their respective mothers. While the trip was drew criticism for possibly violating U.S. sanction laws, it was later officially cleared by the Department of the Treasury.
Beyoncé embarks on her Mrs. Carter World Tour; while on tour, Jay Z makes romantic surprise appearances like this one.
July 2013: Jay Z releases his album Magna Carta Holy Grail; Beyoncé appears on the track “Part II (On the Run),” a sequel of sorts to “’03 Bonnie & Clyde.” Out of countless lyrics about matters of the heart, “Holy Grail” has a verse that references infidelity, which leads some listeners to jump to conclusions: “Keep cheating on me /What I do / I took her back / Fool me twice / That’s my bad / I can’t even blame her for that.”
December 2013: Beyoncé drops her surprise self-titled visual album, _Beyoncé._The album features Jay Z on the sexy track “Drunk in Love,” which introduces the word “surfbort” into the pop culture canon. Jay Z — or representations of him — appears multiple times in the visual components, including Jay watching Beyoncé perform at the Crazy Horse in Paris in “Partition” and dancing with her on the beach for “Drunk in Love.”
The album is lauded for Beyoncé’s strong embrace of being an empowered woman, from “Blow” to “***Flawless,” which sampled Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. The theme of betrayal that Bey’s addressed in the past pops up again, especially on the tracks “Mine” and “Jealous.” On “Mine,” lyrics talk about “having conversations about breakups and separations/I’m not feeling like myself since the baby/Are we gonna even make it? Oooh/’Cause if we are, we’re taking this a little too far” while on “Jealous,” she notes “I never broke one promise, and I know when you’re not honest.”
January 2014: Beyoncé and Jay Z give a much-praised performance of “Drunk in Love” at the Grammys; while Jay Z was criticized for his references to Ike and Tina Turner in his verse on the song, Beyoncé co-signs the lyric by singing the line with him during the live performance, a move that some pointed to as Bey standing by her man.
Later that night, when Jay Z wins a Grammy for _Magna Carta Holy Grail,_Hov pays homage to Queen Bey in his acceptance speech. “I want to thank God, I mean, a little for this award, but mostly for that and all the universes for conspiring and putting that beautiful light of a young woman in my life.” He also calls his Grammy a “sippy cup” for Blue Ivy.
April 2014: Jay and Bey announce their first ever joint tour called the “On the Run” tour, which includes a very excellent short film of a trailer.
Ora again dispels rumors that she and Jay Z are involved in anything besides a working relationship during an interview on Power 105.1, telling the interviewer, “Don’t you dare disrespect Beyoncé like that ever again in your entire life,” she said. “You should know better than that. That’s just straight-up disrespect.”
May 2014: The news of the tour is soon overshadowed after video footage is leaked of Beyoncé’s sister Solange physically attacking her brother-in-law in an elevator at the Standard Hotel in New York City, following a Met Gala after party. Beyoncé stood by without interfering during the incident.
The buzz about the footage was enough to prompt the family to make a statement to AP, saying that while there has been “a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident…the most important thing is that our family has worked through it. Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred.” The statement stated that Jay and Solange also apologized to each other and that “we have moved forward as a united family.”
Some speculated that the elevator episode was prompted by an interaction with Rachel Roy at the after-party. The fashion designer is the ex-wife of Jay’s ex-business partner Damon Dash. A former intern at Jay and Dash’s fashion label Rocawear, she eventually rose in the ranks until she was named the creative director of womenswear at the label.
The day after the elevator incident, Beyoncé posts a photo of herself on Instagram wearing a shirt with Aaliyah’s face on it. Some see this action as a slight toward Roy, since Dash had dated the late singer until her untimely death; When Solange appears to delete most of the photos of her sister on her Instagram account, it makes headlines. Meanwhile, Beyoncé posts a prayer and photos of her and her sister together on her own Instagram.
🐝
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on May 7, 2014 at 12:28pm PDT
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on May 14, 2014 at 3:34am PDT
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on May 6, 2014 at 6:43pm PDT
Toward the end of the month, Beyoncé posts a photo of herself to Instagram that shows that she’s not at Kim Kardashian West’s wedding to Kanye West, an interesting development especially given Jay Z’s close collaboration with West. Some on the Internet point to Roy’s close friendship with Kardashian West as to why Bey and Jay skip the wedding.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on May 24, 2014 at 9:46am PDT
June 2014: The On the Run tour starts, with music’s ultimate power couple showing off tons of PDA onstage. During the Cincinnati stop of the On the Run tour, Beyoncé changes the lyrics of “Resentment” from “been ridin’ with you for six years” to “been ridin’ with you for 12 years,” which corresponds to their relationship timeline at that point.
She also changes the lyrics to another line from “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good/Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could” to “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good/Like I couldn’t do it for you like that wack b—-ch could.”
The kicker of lyric changes, however, comes from the line “been ridin’ with you for six years/I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me” becoming “been ridin’ with you for 12 years/I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me. She ain’t even half of me. That b–ch will never be.”
Over on Beyoncé’s Instagram, all appears well with the Knowles-Carters.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Jul 21, 2014 at 7:57pm PDT
August 2014: Beyoncé releases a remix of”Flawless” featuring Nicki Minaj, adding the instantly iconic, self-referential line, “Of course sometimes sh-t go down when it’s a billion dollars on an elevator.”
Later that month, Tina Knowles tells a TMZ_reporter that “everything’s perfect.” Matthew Knowles, no longer Beyoncé’s manager, suggests that breakup rumors are a “Jedi mind trick” to ignite ticket sales for the tour in an interview on the _The Roula & Ryan Show.
However, at the end of the month, Beyoncé appears and performs a medley of her greatest hits at the MTV Video Music Awards, where Jay Z and Blue Ivy present her with the Video Vanguard Award. In her acceptance speech, Beyoncé tells Jay Z, “My beloved, I love you.”
After the VMAs, the pair are spotted being affectionate at Jay’s Made in America festival.
September 2014: Jay releases a tribute video to Bey in honor of her birthday. Later that month, HBO releases an “On the Run” concert special.
October 2014: Bey and Jay take a trip to Paris. Quelle romantique!
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Oct 17, 2014 at 6:31am PDT
November 2014: Beyoncé releases the track “Ring Off,” which includes a story about turmoil that her mother Tina experienced; she ultimately divorced from Matthew Knowles. Some view this ode as a cautionary tale for Jay Z.
February 2015: The pair appear at the Grammys that month.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Feb 9, 2015 at 10:57am PST
May 2015: One year after the elevator incident, Jay Z and Beyoncé attend the Met Gala together.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on May 4, 2015 at 8:15pm PDT
September 2015: During a trip to Italy, Beyoncé posts a picture of herself on Instagram with a lemon, a photo that will be heavily analyzed after she releases her next album.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Sep 20, 2015 at 8:17am PDT
April 2016: Beyoncé releases her widely celebrated sixth studio album (and second visual album,) _Lemonade._An overarching theme of the album is infidelity, with many lyrics and entire songs devoted to betrayal in a relationship (at one point in her song “Don’t Hurt Yourself,” she says “If you try this sh-t again/You gon’ lose your wife). However, the album ends with themes of reconciliation and forgiveness.
As might be expected, the Internet explodes with memes, hot takes and perhaps more importantly, a manhunt for a certain “Becky with the good hair” who is referenced on the song “Sorry.”
“Becky With the Good Hair” is one of two figures: either a fictional character who factors heavily into lyrics about infidelity, or an actual person with whom Jay Z cheated on Beyoncé. Whatever the case, the Bey Hive (the singer’s rabid fanbase) and the media devoted a great deal of energy to seeking out “Becky,” at one time pointing to designer Rachel Roy, who had worked with Jay Z. Celebrity chef Rachael Ray, whose name is similar to Roy’s, and hilariously Ray Romano, were also targets of the Hive’s ire.
Roy denied the rumors in an interview with People saying “there is no validity to the idea that the song references me personally,” and advocated against bullying.
Beyoncé also begins her Formation tour. At the opening show in Miami, she dedicates the song “Halo” to Jay Z with this sweet tribute: “I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful husband, I love you so much.”
May 2016: Beyoncé attends the Met Gala sans Jay Z. At a Met Gala after-party, multiple celebs including Rita Ora are spotted wearing “Not Becky” pins. Ora also Snapchats a selfie of herself with Queen Bee, in what one might assume is an attempt to sedate the Bey Hive.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on May 2, 2016 at 5:17pm PDT
February 2017: Beyoncé breaks the Internet with a simple Instagram post announcing that the Knowles-Carter family would be expecting not one but two new additions to the family.
We would like to share our love and happiness. We have been blessed two times over. We are incredibly grateful that our family will be growing by two, and we thank you for your well wishes. – The Carters
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Feb 1, 2017 at 10:39am PST
April 2017: On their ninth wedding anniversary, Beyoncé releases a new Tidal exclusive music video filled with lots of intimate home footage for “Die With You,” a song that she debuted in 2015 also on Tidal for the same occasion.
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Apr 4, 2017 at 11:59am PDT
💙 4.4.17 💙
A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Apr 4, 2017 at 12:04pm PDT
June 2017: After much speculation and waiting, sources confirm to People that the twins arrived. That means Queen Bey has given birth to the two newest heirs to the Knowles-Carter legacy so the Internet, predictably loses its collective mind.
submitted by feedreddit to arableaks [link] [comments]


2016.09.11 16:08 emememaker73 The Week In Review: Suburban News of the Past Week (9/11/16)

Sunday:
NORTH:
· 1. Two marine unit deputies injured on Petite Lake when their boat was struck by another driven by a Lindenhurst woman near Fox Lake (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
NORTHWEST:
· 2. Two Buffalo Grove teens born in Israel return to serve in Israeli armed forces (Daily Herald)
· 3. Spring Grove couple killed in car crash on South Solon Road near Spring Grove (Chicago Tribune)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 4. Highland officials await dollar figure on renovation of 70-year-old Town Theatre (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 5. Hebron couple now fighting town over expanded pond; official who gave them permission has been fired (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 6. Walgreens partners with First Ladies Health Initiative to offer health screenings across Chicago area on Sunday, Sept. 11, including 10 churches in the suburbs (ABC 7)
Monday:
NORTH:
· 7. Round Lake woman arrested for attempting to rob Grayslake credit union (Daily Herald)
· 8. Service dog from Great Lakes Naval Station in North Chicago is finalist in American Hero Dog competition (ABC 7)
· 9. Illinois General Assembly trying to pass bill to deny pension to survivors of anyone convicted of felony related to public service, prompted by Joe Gliniewicz case (Northwest Herald)
WEST:
· 10. Chicago Police: Lombard woman who died after being pulled out of Chicago River committed suicide (CBS 2)
· 11. Cab driver arrested for DUI caught urinating on his own taxi in Cicero (FOX 32)
· 12. Man shot to death, two others injured in Aurora after leaving a child's birthday party (NBC 5)
SOUTHWEST:
· 13. Texas man killed, driver critically injured in single-car crash on I-294 near Hickory Hills (Chicago Tribune)
· 14. Women's soccer star kneels during National Anthem before Chicago Red Stars game at Toyota Park in Bridgeview (WGN TV)
SOUTH:
· 15. Bicyclists shot multiple times in Harvey (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 16. Farmers see threat of damage to harvests because of heavy August rains (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 17. Girl dies as result of fire in Lake Station (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 18. Lake County Sheriff's Office's saturation patrols, checkpoint during August net 6 DUIs, 38 drug/warrant arrests, one habitual-traffic violator arrest (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 19. Valparaiso sex offender facing new charge after luring boy to his home, giving the child drugs and alcohol and performing a sex act on him while dressed as a woman (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 20. Proposed Luke Family of Brands headquarters removed from consideration in Hobart; city manager says it's because of a lack of communication (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 21. St. John to apply for matching funds to repave streets; Town Council also agrees to work with Lake County on repaving Calumet Avenue (Northwest Indiana Times)
Tuesday:
NORTH:
· 22. Grayslake puts together $350,000 tax incentive to lure Goose Island pub to its downtown (Daily Herald)
· 23. Granddaughter of Long Grove businesswoman opens branch of her own business across the street from grandmother's former shop (Daily Herald)
· 24. Two Waukegan cell-phone stores robbed over Labor Day weekend, like by same man (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 25. U.S. Rep. Bob Dold (R-Illinois), Democrat Brad Schneider to debate at eight candidate forums across 10th Congressional District (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 26. Elgin store robbed at gunpoint (CBS 2)
· 27. Elgin Area Unit School District U-46 puts transgender policy into place, allowing middle-schooler access to locker room of student's identifying gender (Daily Herald)
· 28. Man fleeing from multi-vehicle accident struck and killed on Lake Street in Bartlett (Chicago Tribune/Elgin Courier-News)
· 29. Gunfire reported outside restaurant on Mannheim Road in Des Plaines (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 30. Elk Grove Village police officer resigns, faced disciplinary action for writing 13 warning tickets between January and April 2016 for stops that never occurred (Daily Herald)
· 31. St. Charles' Arcada Theatre celebrates 90th anniversary (Daily Herald)
· 32. Oak Brook to hire consultant that worked on 2007 Commercial Areas Revitalization Plan to help redevelop McDonald's Corp. headquarters property (Chicago Tribune/The Doings)
· 33. Oak Park middle-school teacher a finalist for Illinois Teacher of the Year (Chicago Tribune/Oak Leaves)
· 34. Kane County coroner, DuKane A.B.A.T.E. team up to figure out why there have been so many motorcycle-related deaths in 2016, come up with preventive measure (Chicago Tribune)
· 35. Bensenville motorcyclist killed in Chicago crash (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 36. Volkswagen subsidiary buys $256 million stake in Lisle-based Navistar (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 37. Fitch Ratings downgrades DuPage County's debt to AA+, citing 'limited revenue flexibility and slow revenue growth prospects' (Crain's Chicago Business)
· 38. Pitbulls euthanized following two separate attacks in Riverside (WBBM AM 780)
SOUTHWEST:
· 39. Millbrook man charged with failure to register his address as a sex offender (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 40. Dallas-based Hillwood real-estate development company starts construction of warehouse in Joliet, even though there no leases have been signed (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTH:
· 41. Metra Electric and South Shore Line trains delayed after power problems (ABC 7)
· 42. Indiana-based Franciscan Alliance to remove saints from their names; Chicago Heights facility to be named Franciscan Health Chicago Heights (Chicago Tribune)
· 43. Motorcyclist killed after being struck by pickup truck in Harvey (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 44. Valparaiso police investigate armed bank robbery (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 45. Valparaiso-based Bulk Mail Services profiled in book The Disney Way: Harnessing the Management Secrets of Disney in Your Company (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 46. Uncertainty surrounds future of Aéropostale store at Hobart's Southlake Mall (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 47. Munster High graduate Joe Mansueto to step down as CEO of Morningstar investment firm in January (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 48. LaPorte man charged with strangling, beating teen who allegedly provided illegal drugs to his daughter (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 49. Fire at Gary apartment building forces evacuation of 24 units (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 50. Lowell man charged with attempted armed robbery after trying to mug acquaintance (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 51. Lowell woman accused of attempted murder for shooting her husband during domestic spat (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 52. State law bans future county board members statewide from getting public pensions; stemmed from controversy in McHenry County (Chicago Tribune)
Wednesday:
NORTH:
· 53. PBS's smash hit 'Nature Cat' the creation of Highland Park brothers (Chicago Tribune)
· 54. Driver critically injured after his SUV crosses center line, crashes into oncoming tow truck on Fairfield Road near Wauconda (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 55. Philly G's restaurant in Vernon Hills closes (Daily Herald)
· 56. Gurnee gas station robbed at gunpoint (CBS 2)
· 57. Live-in caregivers accused of defrauding elderly Highland Park man of more than $184,000 (Chicago Tribune/Highland Park News)
· 58. Bittersweet Golf Course employee hospitalized after high winds cause controlled burn to flare up (Daily Herald)
· 59. Island Lake raises fine on boats without village stickers to $50 (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 60. Motorcyclist injured in hit-and-run in Lake in the Hills (Daily Herald)
· 61. Progress on Arlington Downs mixed-use development coming slower than Arlington Heights officials expected (Daily Herald)
· 62. O'Hare workers file 80 complaints alleging wage theft against city of Chicago, state of Illinois, various contractors as unionizing push moves ahead (Chicago Tribune)
· 63. Wheeling teen facing multiple charges after breaking into ex-girlfriend's home in Mount Prospect, choking her, threatening another man with a knife (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 64. South Elgin resident plans to fight $50 ticket for flying drone over public park; village intends to report him to the FAA (Daily Herald)
· 65. Portage resident raises concerns about city's lack of dog-impound facilities (Northwest Indiana Times)
WEST:
· 66. Villa Park police investigate reported home invasion (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 67. St. Charles City Council agrees to pay $526,500 to the Greater St. Charles Convention & Visitors Bureau to help attract visitors, money (Daily Herald)
· 68. Naperville recognizes gold-medal Olympic swimmer Kevin Cordes (Daily Herald)
· 69. Aurora man sentenced to 28 years in prison for attempted murder of suspected gang member (CBS 2)
· 70. Countryside-based Cooper's Hawk Winery & Restaurant to open near downtown Oak Park (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 71. Joliet man sentenced to 60 years in prison for shooting a man to death at a Joliet diner (CBS 2)
· 72. Man charged with stabbing another man during domestic dispute in Plainfield (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTH:
· 73. White Dyer man charged with hate crime for allegedly using racial slurs, firing his gun in incident with intoxicated black man in Flossmoor (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 74. Ex-Harvey comptroller found dead in southern Indiana as his connection to shady development deal persists (Chicago Tribune)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 75. Woman dead, child injured as result of Gary house fire (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 76. Man handcuffed, shot in the leg during home invasion disrupted by the return of his girlfriend, four children near Kouts (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 77. Crown Lake Board of Public Works and Safety approves contracts, agreements for work on 109th Avenue (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 78. East Chicago man charged with burglarizing neighboring ice-cream shop (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 79. Lake County Board rolls back requests for pay, other raises for elected officials, voting instead to increase salaries for E-911 dispatchers, county police and jail officers (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 80. Man, woman arrested after using counterfeit $100 bills in separate incidents in Chesterton, Portage (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 81. Whiting police seek armed men who robbed bar on Aug. 31 (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 82. Elgin, Old Mill Creek, Wauconda residents selected as judges for this year's Westminster Kennel Club show (Daily Herald)
· 83. Law clerk fired for posing as judge at Markham courthouse now has challenger in race to get elected judge (FOX 32)
Thursday:
NORTH:
· 84. Deerfield-based Walgreens Boots Alliance may have to give up more than 500 stores in order to acquire Rite Aid in order to avoid antitrust issues (FOX 32)
· 85. Thunderstorms leave path of destruction, power outages in Fox Lake (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 86. Truck carrying scrap steel beams tips over, rattling people and businesses near Waukegan (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 87. Palatine man arrested for running meth lab at Grayslake hotel pleads guilty to lesser charge (Daily Herald)
· 88. Pedestrian struck and killed by Metra train in Northbrook (Chicago Tribune/Northbrook Star)
· 89. Beach Park man with outstanding warrant, Kenosha woman with drugs arrested after crashing car into a Waukegan house (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 90. Man shot in Evanston following report of burglary; victim not cooperating with police (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 91. Lake Zurich trustee alleges change to village's development-review process reduces transparency (Daily Herald)
· 92. Real-estate firm places Glencoe as third-most expensive suburb of America's biggest cities (NBC 5)
NORTHWEST:
· 93. Firefighter injured while battling fire in abandoned Elgin warehouse (ABC 7)
· 94. One of the men convicted in Brown's Chicken massacre in Palatine trying to get new trial, claiming one witness implicated him for reward money (WGN TV)
· 95. Dooley's Irish Ale House in West Dundee closes (Daily Herald)
· 96. U.S. Bank forecloses on AT&T's former headquarters campus in Hoffman Estates (Daily Herald)
· 97. Des Plaines has plan to renovate, reopen shuttered Des Plaines Theatre with help from Rivers Casino and concert promoter Ron Onesti (Daily Herald)
· 98. Palatine man acquitted of shooting 15-year-old former friend, ex-friend's father in 2014 (Chicago Tribune)
· 99. Computer-store employee shot, killed would-be robber in Carpentersville (Chicago Tribune/Elgin Courier-News)
· 100. Palatine women who portrayed Wrigley Doublemint Twins in 1980s/1990s commercials to appear on Oprah's 'Where Are They Now?' show (Chicago Tribune)
· 101. Rolling Meadows second-grader left at gas station after she boarded the wrong bus (WGN TV)
WEST:
· 102. Parents angry that Indian Prairie Unit School District 204 in Naperville doesn't have air-conditioning in most of its elementary schools (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
· 103. Aurora renews liquor license for Latin American Club, where a man was shot to death on Aug. 1 (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 104. Sponsor withdraws proposal for Elk Grove Township library district (Daily Herald)
· 105. Fast-casual chicken restaurant PDQ to open first Midwest location in former Wheaton IHOP (Daily Herald)
· 106. Chicago coffee roaster Sparrow Coffee to open café in Naperville (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 107. Chicago man charged with sexually assaulting teenage boy at Cermak Woods pool in Lyons (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 108. Joliet-based tax preparer sentenced to 42 months in prison for defrauding state of Illinois of more than $400,000 (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTH:
· 109. Teacher at Eisenhower High School in Blue Island disciplined for trying to force student to stand for Pledge of Allegiance (WBBM AM 780)
· 110. Armed gunman robs Frankfort gas station (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 111. Valparaiso High School to use Breathalyzer test on students attending football games to make sure they haven't been drinking (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
· 112. St. John native appears on Logo TV's 'Finding Prince Charming' (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 113. St. John VFW Post 717 to host Sept. 16 fundraiser to help police department raise money for dashboard cameras (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 114. Suspect in Hammond bank robbery at large, listed as armed and dangerous (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 115. Third suspect in kidnapping of University of Rochester students from Aurora and Northbrook pleads guilty for her part in the plot (Chicago Tribune)
Friday:
NORTH:
· 116. Glenview man charged in Aug. 26 hit-and-run crash in Morton Grove that killed Chicago woman after police were accused of lying about his arrest and he was cleared of marijuana charge (Chicago Tribune)
· 117. Waukegan Park District to acquire Phil's Beach, which appeared in 'The Blue Brothers' and reopen it to the public (Daily Herald)
· 118. 22-year-old Waukegan man jailed after police catch him having sex with 15-year-old girlfriend in back seat of a car (Chicago Tribune/Evanston Review)
· 119. Ingleside man sentenced to 22 years in prison for 2014 vehicular rampage across central Lake County (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 120. Skokie police investigate attack on owner, secretary of business by armed intruders; owner's house keys were stolen and home ransacked (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 121. Vacant gas station property turned into newest park in Grayslake after private foundation provides funding (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 122. State of Illinois reaches agreement to house state's most-mentally-ill inmates at Elgin Mental Health Center (Chicago Sun-Times)
WEST:
· 123. Water-main break uproots tree, causing it to fall onto westbound lanes of Biesterfield Road in Elk Grove Village (Daily Herald)
· 124. Work set to begin on bike trail between Winfield Mounds and West DuPage Woods forest preserves (Daily Herald)
· 125. Mondelez International moving Enjoy Life Foods from Schiller Park to southern Indiana (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 126. Oak Lawn veteran using American rose to honor families of fallen soldiers (CBS 2)
· 127. Donors to Markham mayor's campaign give more than $1 million; city has rewarded those donors with city contracts worth $72 million (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
SOUTH:
· 128. Mokena man charged in two hit-and-run accidents, one involving a pedestrian on 193rd Street in Mokena and one with another vehicle on I-80 near Joliet (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 129. Kankakee Area Metropolitan Enforcement Group destroys 812 cannabis plants found in wooded area near Beecher (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 130. Veterans share stories of frustration, heartbreak and financial ruin with U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs at Portage forum (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
· 131. Expansion of Neighbors' Educational Opportunities (NEO) will mean more room for adult education (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 132. Hobart gets behind study of 73rd Avenue exit off I-65 in Merrillville (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 133. LaPorte County woman killed after pickup she was driving got stuck on tracks and was struck by a freight train in LaPorte (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 134. Michigan City establishes $150 fee for public to obtain copies of police videos (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 135. Democratic nominee for Cook County State's Attorney takes on consulting job with law firm that has sued Cook County and contributed $18,500 to her campaign (Chicago Tribune)
Saturday:
NORTH:
· 136. Highland Park High graduates' anti-Trump book gets them fired from Recreational Vehicle Industry Association, fires up their Kickstarter (Chicago Tribune/Highland Park News)
· 137. Lake County reports first case of West Nile virus in humans in 2016 (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 138. Evanston alderman raises concerns about how police enforce bicycle-light requirement (WBBM AM 780)
· 139. Police Taser, arrest Vernon Hills man armed with a knife at Stevenson High School football stadium during game (ABC 7)
NORTHWEST:
· 140. Airplane-noise complaints at O'Hare International Airport rise 80 percent during first month of new nighttime flight plan (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 141. Elgin Community College, City of Elgin start off Hispanic Heritage Month with breakfast (Daily Herald)
· 142. Village of Bartlett celebrates 125th anniversary of founding (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 143. Parents reaction mixed on St. Charles schools' bathroom 'passport' that limits visits to the washroom to three times per quarter (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 144. Suspect in Hillside carjacking dead after jumping from Harlem Avenue overpass onto Eisenhower Expressway (Chicago Tribune)
· 145. Naperville OKs sale of alcohol at two hair salons, but they must meet a list of requirements set out by the city (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
· 146. Four Detroit men arrested after foiled smash-and-grab robbery at Orland Park jewelry store (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 147. Police search for suspect in Palos Hills sexual assault (CBS 2)
· 148. Channahon woman critically injured after being struck by a vehicle after getting off a party bus stopped in heavy traffic in Matteson (CBS 2)
· 149. Three people injured in head-on crash on 159th Street in Orland Park (CBS 2)
SOUTH:
· 150. OPINION: Voters will have chance to change things at Lincoln-Way High School District 210 in April election (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 151. Indiana man charged with kidnapping, sexual assault of woman who advertised sex for sale on website; incident occurred in Calumet City (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 152. Lake County Fairgrounds to play host to 12th annual Hospice Hustle charity cycling event on Sunday, Sept. 18 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 153. Crash on I-94 near Lake Station's Ripley Street exit ties up traffic (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 154. Hobart landmark restaurant Bright Spot closes (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
· 155. Painful memories awakened now that man convicted of 1990 abduction/rape/murder is set to be released (Northwest Indiana Times)
submitted by emememaker73 to ChicagoSuburbs [link] [comments]


2014.06.12 02:12 tabledresser [Table] IamA UFC fighter Tim Kennedy AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-06-11
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Your thoughts on trading 5 terrorists for Berghdal? Do you think he was a deserter? It is sad pathetic and idiotic. Watching the video of the prisoner exchange it was obvious that he has been a sympathizer. It was disturbingly dangerous for for the crew being in the valley surrounded by mountains with armed Taliban. Trading five of the most evil dudes on the planet, one of which killed over 2000 people, for one idiot of a horrible soldier is beyond my comprehension. It is a sad precedent to be set where we negotiate with terrorists. It is also frightening seen how effortlessly the president violated the constitutional law without notifying Congress.
How great did it feel to punch Bisping in the face? Nothing was more satisfying than clubbing him with overhand punches. I hit that guy harder than I have hit a lot of people. You have to give him a lot of credit for staying on his feet (or on his back) for 25 minutes. I hurt both my hands smashing his brain and they are still recovering.
Hi Tim, Do you feel that GSP was accurate that the UFC and MMA in general could do more to curb PEDs? If so why are so many high profile fighters scared to say anything? GSP has already started the ball rolling so why doesn't everyone follow it? And what percentage of fighters do you believe use PED's? It is difficult to speak out. We can't burn any bridge that we have to cross later. I think 60-70% of pro MMA fighters are using PEDs. Every fighter that has been randomly tested, as of late, has failed. That should be the main indicator.
Have you ever made a pass at Ronda Rousey? I heard her guard is very difficult to get by. Is that what you're talking about? If not, I've been married for 8 years, so no.
Can you give your perspective on the difference between active and Guard SF? There is no difference. Everybody has to go through the same training, ie selection and the Q Course. Once they complete and are selected at SFAS, they can proceed to the 12 to 18 month special forces training. Then they report to their respective units, Guard or Active Duty.
Also, would you rather fight a Bisping-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized Bispings? I would definitely prefer to fight 100 duck sized Bispings considering I've already fought and beaten both ducks and Bispings.
When things get really tough(like a fight or military) what coping mechanisms do you have to help you get through? I have a lot of coping mechanism which have been developed over time a great family, a healthy body, humor, education, and determination and if that doesn't work whiskey and guns.
What's the one workout that you remember that surpassed all others in how much it kicked your butt? I'm wondering what kind of workout it takes to make even you feel smoked. The firsts time I trained with Jackson / WinkleJohn mma that took use up to the sand dunes of Albuquerque, Brian Stann was at the end of his fight camp and peaking as an athlete, but i couldn't let that Marine beat me at anything. We went head to head for an hour, the result was neither of use being able to walk for a couple of days.
Did you ever work with the French Foreign Legion? What are you're thoughts on them? During one of my deployments to Afghanistan I worked for the coalition and was fortunate enough to go on missions with british, Australian, and Canadian, czech, french, and german special forces unit and so many others.
I have great respect for everybody that volunteers to serve their country and I never had an instance in which I was disappointed in the quality of men in each special forces unit.
Do you ever walk into the octogon and feel genuine fear? Like do you ever look at a guy and just want to walk away? The few times I've fought I've won, but I've always been incredibly nervous before hand. I think being slightly nervous and anxious is a good and healthy response during a fight, it makes you acutely aware of everything and enables me to perform at my best. When I hear my song Rooster come on I feel invincible and all I want to do is hurt things.
Do you have any advice for someone wanting to join the military or the SOF community? Thanks for all you do. Trying out for Special Forces was without a doubt the best decision I have ever made in my life. It changed not only me as a person, but also how I approached everything in my life from that point forward. It was been the most rewarding of a career.
You should be able to max out a PT test or at least get near 300. You should be able to run 5 miles in under 40 minutes. Your ruck time is where things get pretty tricky. You should feel comfortable walking with weight on your back for 8 hours, and should be able to walk 12 miles in under 3 hours.
Here are the only words of wisdom. Be at the right place at the right time in the right uniform. When you don’t know what to do take a knee face out and take a drink of water. Remember that you are ALWAYS being evaluated at everything you do.
If you have any specific question about the process inquire at Special Operation Recruiting Battalion. Link to www.bragg.army.mil
What books would you recommend? I love sci-fi, fantasy, history, classic literature. I definitely have a reading problem, as in I read too much. Everything from Harry Potter to Edith Hamilton's Greek Mythology. Right now, I'm reading Terry Goodkind Sword of Truth series.
If the UFC said that you could choose anywhere in the world to fight, where would it be, and why? The location of the current #1 Taliban leader.
How much weight do you cut? Or more specifically, what do you weigh fight night? I weigh 205 on fight night. I cut about 15 pounds before a fight.
Who do you want next, Tim? And don't give me one of those terrible "whoever they want me to fight, I'll fight" answers, please. If you were in charge and could fight anyone in your division next that isn't named Chris Weidman, who do you fight? Go! I replied to that question earlier but in essence i just want to fight a top ten guy that will give me a title fight and is preferably not injecting horse testosterone into their eyeballs.
What is one (or more) thing(s) you learned from MMA that could be applied to (almost) any other passion/field? Thanks for doing this AMA! Hard work, determination, and intelligence will get you further than anything you inject, ingest, or absorb.
Hi Tim, quite a few guys have talked about your top control and have mentioned how strong you are. Is that something that was natural or is it something technical you can work on? The Bisping fight was a great display of that. You are more than welcome to talk to us on Link to www.reddit.com. It is definitely something I have worked on. I have developed an anti BJJ style that works on scrambles from the bottom and wet blanket top control.
Tim, if you could be any character from the Sword of Truth who would you be and why?? Zeddicus Zul Zorander. He is an unassuming badass that kicks ass at every opportunity. He is wise from the years of seeing so much pain.
Or Cara. She is a bad bitch that looks amazing in tight black leather (I look beautiful as a woman, google Tim Kennedy as Katy Perry).
What is the weirdest thing a fan has said to you? A 13 year old male fan at the UFC Fan Expo told me he wanted to have a baby with me and sign his forehead with a permanent marker.
How many unprofessional fights have you won/lost? I was 30-1 in unsanctioned and amateur bouts.
What is your opinion of brock lesnar? He's one gigantic human being, i hope i never have him on top of me and I think Jack Links are disgusting.
If you could fight any fighter of any division who would that be and why is it Tito Ortiz? If I can fight anyone in history it would be Sakuraba.
And if I had to fight somebody in any division it would be Demitrious Johnson, I realized it would be difficult to catch him but if i did all i would have to do is sit on him. Fat kid wins every time.
Hi Tim. First off really appreciate everything you've done as far as MMA and military service. What does the future hold for you when you retire from the UFC? As soon as I retire I will be doing a lot of television work. I'm turning away everyone right now until I have the middleweight title. After that the only thing I'm asking these movie and tv producers is whatever they're going to ask me to do better be fun and involve guns... there will also be a lot motorcycle riding, shrugs, biceps, whiskey, explosives and skydiving.
What kind of hand-to-hand combat do they teach you in the Special Forces? Anything applicable to MMA or just how to end someone's life quickly? They use SOCP (special operatives combative program) and MACP (modern army combative program). They focus on the use of your tools that you have on you (knives, guns, helmet, etc), more so than the fundamentals of MMA.
What do you fear the most? Anyone in my family or one of my friends being hurt and me not being able to do anything to help or save them. Or anyone I know ever having to go to war.
Have you ever engaged in a street fight, or found yourself in a situation where you've had to defend yourself? If so, how did it turn out? It is pretty much impossible to get me in a street fight. I've had guys spit at me and pour drinks on my head. I usually buy the guy a new drink or tell him to get some chewing gum.
Hey Tim, you once said on twitter that the five people you would like to fight are: "congress, Oprah(not a girl), lil Wayne, Kim Jung-un, Justin Beiber(but I would never hit a girl so he doesn't really count)" Justin Beiber still definitely sits at the top of my list but i would reprioritize putting congress and the upper echelon of veterans affairs over oprah and lil wayne.
Any tips on the transfer of weight/ balance when throwing hooks and straight rights? For example, when throwing a hook off a right cross and the left foot pivots. I believe your foot pivoting should just be a byproduct of the weight transferrence of your hips. I was told by one of my first boxing coaches not to be a light footed fairy. "A solid base transfers more power than a fairy footed..."
Also, M9 or M1911a1? In truth, I always rolled with a Glock 19 in combat. I compete with a Glock 21 and a 1911 but few things surpass the accuracy of an M9.
Do you think beating Gegard Mousasi for example could get you a title shot? I am 3-0 in the UFC with 2 main event wins. Just beating the perennial contender and top 5 ranked Michael Bisping. A win over another top 10 guy should definitely put me in a position to fight for the title.
Youre A hilarious person and pretty Bad dude. What does one have to do to earn the privilege to train with you? Come to Austin TX, stop by Gracie Humaita or Pinnacle. You could also come to Albuquerque and train at Jacksons / WinkleJohn MMA but that would probably be more painful.
Where do you see yourself/the sport of MMA in 5 years? I see myself around 250lbs with a beard running my companies, shooting, drinking whiskey and trying to show the world even large men can be ballet dancers too.
MMA in five years? I see the sport of MMA continue to grow, it will garner more and more fans as time goes on and will become more mainstream with each passing year.
Do you have any rituals that you go through on days that you fight? Also, what is your favorite color? I'm not a superstitious person all I the things I do are pretty typical. My favorite color are the different phases of a bruise.
Is there any difference in, and if there is please describe, the hurt level of getting struck by your average MMA gym goer and a professional fighter at the level of the UFC? I sort of want you to punch me in the face so I can feel the difference... You are a strange dude. I worry about you and the wellbeing of your brain. If I could go my entire career without someone punching me in the face, I would be very happy. With that said, there is a huge difference between the average MMA goer hits and an athlete in the UFC.
Any thoughts on the economical side of warfare? Link to m.youtube.com. I didn't watch the video because I'm trying to get through as many questions as I can. I think war is horrible regardless of what side it is.
If you had to pick a country to live in that isn't the United States, which country would it be? I can't imagine a world or scenario in which I wouldn't be able to live in the US. Even in the post apocalyptic world, after the alien invasion/ zombie plague, the first thing I would do in the Kennedy New World Order is create the United States of 1776.
How was fighting up here in the Great White North? I got to dominate Bisping within the Commonwealth. The people of Quebec were wonderful and the city was beautiful. I just wish I had more time to do some sight seeing, furniture shopping and eating.
Hey Tim. Any advice or words of wisdom for an enlistee making his way to BUD/S later this year? Do you remember what going through SFAS and SFQC was like and how you earned your stripes? Thanks and good luck! I answered this one earlier... This is what I said: Trying out for Special Forces was without a doubt the best decision I have ever made in my life. It changed not only me as a person, but also how I approached everything in my life from that point forward. It was been the most rewarding of a career.
You should be able to max out a PT test or at least get near 300. You should be able to run 5 miles in under 40 minutes. Your ruck time is where things get pretty tricky. You should feel comfortable walking with weight on your back for 8 hours, and should be able to walk 12 miles in under 3 hours.
Here are the only words of wisdom. Be at the right place at the right time in the right uniform. When you don’t know what to do take a knee face out and take a drink of water. Remember that you are ALWAYS being evaluated at everything you do.
If you have any specific question about the process inquire at Special Operation Recruiting Battalion. Link to www.bragg.army.mil
Hey Tim, great to see you on here! What prefight rituals do you have, if any? Also, how often do you use the subzero chamber you talked about on JRE for recovery when you're in camp? Everything I do prefight is proven to be the best thing to do for athletic performance the hardest thing to do is to stay relaxed in the back. I am not a superstitious person but I believe that murphy will get you every time.
I use the cryotherapy once or twice a week.
Have you had a chance to play EA's UFC Game? Any interesting stories with the development of that? (IE Did they show you the game, or stories of being face scanned?) No I have not played the EA UFC game yet. I was in the EA MMA game which kind of sucked, particularly my character. I love video games and I'm looking forward to getting my hands on it.
Yooo Tim. whats your thoughts on Dan Bilzerian? and why dont you partner with him to make some serious cash? or just kick his ass. <3 First and foremost he's a Navy SEAL, I'm a Green Beret. More often than not we mix as well as oil in water. I'm not sure I can handle another man wearing as few clothes as he does as often as he does. I'm not sure I can be around a man that's naked 95% of the time.
If you never became an MMA fighter, what would you be doing for a career? I would be a Special Forces sniper.
What's the deal with performance enhancing drugs in MMA? It is a big deal. Something has to change and it has to happen soon.
Whats the best way i can help the Green Beret Foundation? Retweets, likes, shares, and hashtags don't do shit. These veterans need real help. Doesn't necessarily for a foundation but it has to be something tangible and meaningful. Foundations like the green berets knows how best to do that and makes use of every cent that they get.
What do you think everyone could add to their strength and conditioning program that they aren't doing that would benefit them? This is what I did this morning, and an example of a typical workout: Roll.
Lowe Upper back/ Posterior Shoulders.
Trigger point traps and chest.
Calfs/ Hamstring.
Shoulder mobility Stretch Circuit.
NWU 1,
Single leg bosu ball toss with #/letter call CC mobility.
Leg lifts 1minx2.
SB side dips (20each) x2 Active warm-up.
Best stretch in the world.
Butt kickers.
Skip>reverse hip rotations over hurdle Agility Skill.
Cone/Ladder.
Line drill.
Foot work Plyos.
Box jump Strength.
Front squat 3-5RM Workout A. 1. Explosive single leg press 10x2 2. Sumo deadlift , 10x3 3. TRX supine row ESD/METT Con Sled push, Sled TRX pull, KB swings 10, 9, 8, 7, …
Did you truly like "The Black Swan"? Nobody likes the black swan, it's a painful transition from the white swan to the black swan. As the metamorphosis occurs darkness begins to control you.
Hey Tim, What is an example of a recent metabolic conditioning workout you've done? I posted an example of a workout earlier. But here is another one...
Roll.
Lowe Upper back/ Posterior Shoulders.
Calfs/ Hamstring.
Quad/Hip flexoAdductors Stretch Circuit.
NWU 1, 2.
FMS warm-up CC mobility/Core.
Side Bends.
Active warm-up.
Bosu ball single leg: Knee hug>Elbow to instep>
Leg Cradle.
Heel to butt/quad stretch.
Inchworm w/ pushup.
Skip>reverse hip rotations over hurdle Agility Skill.
Cone/LaddeFootwork Rings.
X pattern cone drill.
Plyos.
SL Box jumps 3X5.
ESD/METT Con Filthy 50.
Pushups.
Situps.
KB Swings.
Box jumps.
T2B
MB Thrusters/or full depth jumping back squats.
135lbs Deadlift.
Row 500m
What's the main difference between working for SF and then working for Dana/Zuffa? Is there a fighter that's not a teammate that you want to see under the Zuffa umbrella? I liked the matchmaking of SF but there's nothing like being part of the biggest and best fight organization on the planet.
Bubba Bush.
Hey Tim, Is there any specific diet you follow when your in training camp? I know from the JRE podcast you have a very low body fat % any tips? I follow paleo to a degree. I don't have a sensitivity to carbs or grains, and I think that they should be used if they benefit your performance as an athlete but generally speaking eating real food is the best thing to do. Raw fruits, vegetables and lean proteins.
No question, I just wanted to say that I genuinely thank you for serving our Country. I can't imagine how much hard work and energy it would take to become a UFC fighter but I can't help but feel like being a green Beret is just that much tougher. Thank you! Edit: My comment got deleted because it wasn't a question, so I guess my question is: Which would you say was harder, the training you had to endure to become a Green Beret/Ranger or the training you had to endure to get into the UFC? They are very different. One is preparing you to participate in a sport. The other is preparing you to endure the horrors of war.
Hey Tim, I'm a big fan! Thank you for all you've done for our country and in MMA. What was the first submission you really fell in love with using? Arm locks across the board are by far my favorite submission, they work in the gi or no gi and are so definitive.
Hey Tim, Im a huge fan. First off, thank you for your service, and you are a great inspiration for me. What would you say is your greatest accomplishment in your life? That is a tough one to call. I have been part of operations that eliminated some of the most evil man to walk the face of the planet. I'm a father and trying to be a good husband...
What age is too late to start in MMA, in order to be a contender? Most of the guys started wrestling at a very early age. It is never too early to starts but definitely there is a part where it's too late. Probably somewhere in your early to mid twenties.
Have you ever been genuinely scared for your life when fighting? I have done a lot of different types of fighting in my life. I have never been scared for my life in the cage. That is just a sports contest between two willing participants. We have gloves, a padded floor and a referee to ensure our safety. I've been in a few hundred gun fights and in every single one of them I was scared shitless.
Thanks for doing this, Tim! Do you have any recommendations for places to train down South? I'm located of South Lamar and have been considering getting back into martial arts. Thanks! Gracie Humaita
Last updated: 2014-06-15 18:26 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
submitted by tabledresser to tabled [link] [comments]


2014.04.20 01:30 amdewstow Ladies Against Humanity Pack

Via
White
"The limit does not exist!"

solidarityisforwhitewomen

A $20 bill with Harriet Tubman's face on it
A bill allowing establishments to refuse service to homophobic legislators
A blazing Valentine's Day bonfire torching every moronic column that advises women on how not to end up single on Valentine's Day
A bodice-ripping 4-way with Alexander Skarsgard, lan Somerhalder, and David Boreanaz
A brown smudge equally likely to be period blood or chocolate.
A candlelight vigil for Nicole Brown Simpson
A CNN article touting "A Shocking New Study Shows Women Aren't Treated Equally With Men"
A detailed vajazzling of Van Gogh's Starry Night
A dozen Sprinkles cupcakes smeared on my naked body
A fantasy film that takes place in an alternate reality where, amazingly, everyone is white
A fantasy road trip with Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza with burritos and mixtapes and skinny-dipping under the stars and you all just laugh and laugh
A federal holiday named after a black woman. (Or any woman, for that matter.)
A fun family cook-out grilling leftover dresses at Chez Gaga
A gender neutral, owl-themed baby announcement
A hand-crocheted Diva Cup case from Etsy.com
A heaping dish of real talk served ice cold by Ashley Wagner
A hot, wet, trumpet of a tart when you're nearly sure your partner is out of earshot
A humorless orgy filled with humorless feminists
A joke too funny for women to understand
A late breaking addition to the Opening Ceremony that features the women of Pussy Riot hooking up Putin's nipples and scrotum to high voltage electroshock
A limited edition set of white people white cards about topics such as J. Crew, half-marathons, and the word "articulate" just in time for Black History Month
A middle school style 3-way call about what to wear to the party
A misogynist dystopia set in the not-too distant WAIT A MINUTE
A much needed reminder that, all too often, "beauty standards" = "being white."
A new cookbook by Sylvia Plath
A new law forcing men to buy extra insurance in advance in case they someday need erectile dysfunction meds
A one-on-one tutorial in fabulous from Janet Mock
A one-way ticket to Steubenville
A perfect virginity story including a snowy night, a cozy cabin, and NBC news anchor Brian Williams
A personal style consultation from Lupita Nyong'o
A quickie with Rachel Maddowin the green room
A reissue of Battleship where you have to find the clitoris
A relationship-ending round of "Never Have I Ever"
A second-trimester burrito baby
A sneakediaper drive for your best friend Wendy Davis
A soothing 6-handed massage from McDreamy, McSteamy and Yang after a really tough day at work
A stern and timely pep talk from Miss Tyra
A strongly worded letter to Netflix demanding the addition of "The Good Wife"
A sturdy, resounding slap to the face of Vladimir Putin from the hand of Billie Jean King
A sudsy soak in the prefects bathroom with Cedric Diggory
A tear stained copy of Reviving Ophelia
A thoughtful discussion of music and fashion with Lorde and Tavi over manis and cappuccinos
A torrid sex odyssey with President Fitzgerald Grant
A toxic chemical fire fueled by all the make-up brands that don't make shades for people of color
A vagina mint. A mint for your vagina.
A vibrating Nuva Ring because why Wouldnot that exist
A warm, cuddly hug from Phillip Seymour Hoffman
A white-hot blazing inferno fueled entirely by Pnina Tarnai stunners
Abortion Barbie®
Accidentally making a duck face in the elevator mirror, immediately cringing in shame
Accidentally pooping out the tampon
Adele crooning under your ex's window 24/7 until he understands exactly what he did
Alan Rickman murmuring sweet pillow talk that you can't understand a word of but who cares just keep talking
An 80-year-old woman with her 20-year-old lover
An all-girl orgy comprised entirely of Cumberbitches
An alternate version of the Washington Monument that looks kind of like a vagina
An Auschwitz-themed Olympic debutante party
Arthur Weasley's muggle porn
Asking Gilbert Gottfried to do the lago voice during sex
Asking the waiter who tries to take your half-finished burger away if he's out of his fucking mind
Asking your doctor to define "occasional drinker"
Audra McDonald and ldina Menzel serenading you with the most heartbreaking love song in the history of everything
Awkwardly explaining to your waiter that you're not actually anti-coat hanger
Bandying Vampire Bill about the head and neck until he chooses Laura Benanti like a sane person
Banging Paul Rudd's ugly brother because close enough
Beard burn on your labia
Because sometimes you want three broomsticks
Being brought to tears by an unflattering photo and feeling a fiery mix of self-hatred and rage-filled feminist revolution
Being compared to a Cathy cartoon on Metafilter
Being forced to buy all fan gear in Pink because it's the color of your vagina
Being in a nice restaurant and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is definitely food in your bra
Being polite about Lean In at the office
Being single in winter and not shaving your legs for months
Being soulfully serenaded collectively and individually by The Roots
Being the only woman at the office-mandated sexual harassment training
Being unbelievably attracted to Michael Fassbender even when he's evil to his core
Beyoncé thinkpieces
Beyoncé watching the halftime show on her $40,000 couch just laughing like yeah, sure, whatever
Blue Ivy's weave
Bobby Flay chipping his tooth on a ball gag
Breaking up with your fiancé via a fabulous Sondheim patter song
Buying condoms in your hometown
Calculating the WeightWatchers Points Plus™ in a heaping serving of Donald Rumsfeld's spooge
Calmly informing your date that you understand the infield fly rule better than he does
Celebrating equal pay day by making the same amount of money as a man who does the same job as you. Lol just kidding, you can't have that.
Checking "Other: Lesbianism" on the birth control survey at your gynecologist's office
Chin hairs you pretend you don't have
Choking on the ashes of Gloria Steinem's bras
CJ Cregg laying the smack down on a misogynist fucker then taking you out for mimosas
Compiling all the money we spend on hair removal products to feed all the hungry children forever
Condi and Hillary throwing a power pantsuit fashion show to raise money to help journalists who can't think of better questions to ask women politicians
Congratulating CBS on having the bravery and audacity to pick a white man to host a late night show
Convincing 2 straight guys to make out at a party to impress their girlfriends
Cooper Manning's burn book
Cramming Vladimir Putin full of Activia® until he poops out Russia's homophobia
Crying in the fitting room during bikini season
Daenerys Targaryen's fire-breathing vajayjay
Daenerys Targaryen, Arya Stark and Cersei Lannister combining forces to take down misogyny forever
Deciding that Lupita Nyong'o is the Cinderella you hope your daughter will grow up to be
Declaring that you will abstain from checking OkCupid or Tinder for 24 hours on Valentine's Day but then getting drunk and sad and signing in with much lower standards
Deliberately not shaving your legs to keep yourself from hooking up on an early date
Depriving white men of the right to vote for 150 years and just seeing what happens
Diane Keaton wearing a suit better than any man ever could.
Discovering orgasms at a prettttty young age courtesy of a jacuzzi/hot tub/pool jet
Doing your kegels at work
Donating your breast milk for vegan consumption
Doubling up on sports bras
Douches that smell like rain
Dumbledore's rarely seen club robes
Dumpsters overflowing with whimsical save the-date magnets
Dying your hair red like Angela Chase
Eating the entire bag
Emma Goldman burning the whole motherfucker down
Emma Watson, Emma Stone, EMMA THOMPSONBITCHES
Engagement photos on train tracks
Expensive vibrators shaped like twee woodland creatures
Experimenting with Stacey McGill and Claudia Kishi while the kids sleep in the other room
Explaining to a man that your bisexuality does not exist for his titillation
Expressing the anal glands of Oprah's chow chows
Feeling a little bit smug about Gwyneth Paltrow's divorce
Feeling microaggressive when people won't stop using the word microaggressive
Feeling nauseous and thinking, "0h, great. Is this going to cost me $400?"
Feeling slightly like you are fighting the system when you use the men's restroom at a bar rather than standing in line for the ladies' room
Finally being included in an NFL commercial as a "football fan" instead of "football fan's clueless girlfriend"
Finger banging Michelle Rodriguez
Flicking the bean to Adam Levine's Proactiv® commercial
Force-feeding Sheryl Sandberg the pages of lean In, one by one
Forcing your lover to call you "moon of my life"
Gabby Gifford' physical therapy
Getting a little turned on by the liquid silk voices of the ladies of NPR
Getting a new match notification on Tinder and not having any idea what you were thinking when you swiped right
Getting angry at your crush because of something mean he said during an imaginary conversation
Getting DPed by the Property Brothers on a custom granite countertop
Getting drunk and texting someone you don't really like because it's better than texting no one at all
Getting home from a workout and realizing your pubes were sticking out of your short shorts the whole time
Getting in the football mood by spiking your used tampons into the trash and celebrating afterwards
Getting irrationally angry when you don't think a Facebook status deserves that many likes
Getting topped by Professor Grubbly-Plank
Getting weepy drunk in the daytime and posting quotes from You've Got Mail on the internet
Giving ScarJo's boobs a (consensual) Iii' squeezy-squeeze on the red carpet
Giving up on the game to make out with big Tim Riggins
Going on a mediocre date, then a terrible date, then fooling yourself into thinking the mediocre date was better than it was
Going out to buy super healthy organic groceries then coming home and ordering takeout
Guys who can't get it together to set a date but still find time to like your shit on Face book
Guys who take off their wedding rings before they flirt with you at a bar
Hagrid and Madame Maxime role-play
Having big boobs and wearing horizontal stripes anyway cause FUCK IT
Having unprotected sex to honor the anniversary of Roe v. Wade
Hermione telling you she'd never hurt Ron; it's just that you're so beautiful and she's so confused
High-fiving Sandra Bullock after the best drunk duet of "Oops! I did it again" in the history of karaoke
High-fiving Shonda Rhimes while dancing on the graves of every boss who never bothered to hire a woman or person of color
Hillary bitch-slapping Bill with a frozen tuna
Hiring Buffy Summers to roundhouse kick the woman in your office who doesn't support other women
Holding hands with Ellen Page at the best Tegan & Sara concert ever
Holding your boobs as you go up and down stairs
Hoping maybe he didn't call because he died
Inspirational Dove chocolate wrappers
It gets better(ish).
JLaw creeping Taylor Swift ADORABLY
Joaquin Phoenix as George Michael Bluth and Scarlett Johannsen as Ann Veal in the new Arrested Development movie, "HER?"
Khaleesi bringing her dragons to a board meeting like "sorry, couldn't get daycare!"
Kim Kardashian's placenta banh mi
Kneeing him right in the man business when the fantasy suite turns into a nightmare
Lactating when a stranger's baby cries on the train
ldris Elba whisking you off for a weekend on the Riviera
Leonardo DiCaprio sitting on the sidewalk smoking with "Talkshow Host" playing in the background
LESLIE KNOPE AND MICHELLE OBAMA HUGGING AND DANCING AND BRINGING JOYFUL FEMINISM TO ALL THE LAND
LESLIE KNOPE FOR PRESIDENT
Liberté, égalité. Beyoncé.
Lining up all the lip glosses you've ever lost until they wrap around the world
Living with the fact that you're a white person who regularly downloads songs from "Glee"
Locking all the mansplainers in a windowless room with Bellatrix Lestrange
Magic ovaries that shoot down rape sperm with lasers
Making 77 cents on the dollar (unless you're Latina)
Making Firefox your preferred browser for gay porn
Making him jealous with Viktor Krum
Making it obnoxiously clear to your friends that you'll be watching the Puppy Bowl instead of the Super Bowl this year
Making out with an openly gay Eagle Scout "to help him make sure"
Malala's gunshot wounds
Masturbating to Ty Pennington
Meredith Grey's slut phase
Meryl Streep selfies
MICHELLE DUNKING LEBRON BITCHES
Michelle Kwan gliding across the ice like a majestic goddamn swan
Misandry
Mother. Fucking. Thigh gap.
Naming your breasts Lorelei and Rory
Needing to pee before your nail polish dries
Not having the heart to tell him it really doesn't happen to everyone
Objectifying women "for charity"
Oil wrestling with all three Manning brothers. Yeah, there are three.
Only shaving up to the knee
Patti Stanger's line of jewelry Asking Larry Summers increasingly difficult mathematical questions until Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are considered equally important
Peggy Olson's cutthroat ambitions
Perversely cheering for a team your partner hates, just for funsies
Pitching "The Deathstick" to Good Vibrations
Pointing out to people who claim to hate abortion that they might want to consider supporting access to contraception
Polishing off another bottle of Bordeaux with Olivia Pope and Alicia Florrick
Politely asking Juan Pablo to stop ruining Juan-uary
Pre-ordering a new Hitachi Magic Wand just in time for Galentine's Day
Pretending someone else is home when the delivery guy shows up with your extra large pizza
Pretending you don't fantasize about taking Tim Tebow's virginity
Pretending you'll wear that bridesmaid dress again
Princess Aurora maniacally devouring the still-beating heart of Maleficent
Proclaiming the wine "undrinkable" immediately before drinking it
Proudly carrying your tampon to the bathroom in full view of everyone because THE JIG IS UP A LOT OF US HAVE PERIODS
Putting on skinny jeans straight out of the dryer and wanting to commit genocide
Queefing in the faces of Oscar voters until they're forced to recognize the achievements of women and people of color
Raising a champagne toast to Belle Knox, the badass Duke porn actress
Realizing halfway through a great date that you forgot to tweeze those nipple hairs
Realizing you're not having lesbian sex anytime soon after you get one of those chunky glitter manis
Realizing your awkward sitting position on the floor made your vag lips lose all sensation
Reimagining your life as gluten free when you find out the hot 23-year-old at the office has Celiac
Rejecting a guy who might be your future husband on Tinder because his face just akes you angry
Reminding yourself not to start a conversation about your to-do list after your mind wanders during sex
Renée Fleming bringing linebackers to tears
Resentfully clicking like on your boss's vacation photos
Rosa Park's back seat
Roses are red, violets are blue, women deserve equal pay for equal work
Running your fingers through Jon Stewart's lustrous salt-and-pepper hair until you've regained a sense of calm
Ryan Gosling's taint
Scalding hot wax right there on your labia
Screaming in terror at the giant bug in your shower before you realize it's a hair ball
Seven carpets that match the drapes
Seven minutes in heaven with Eric Decker
Sexual fantasies involving Mindy Lahiri and a sumptuous coffeecake
Shameful childhood memories of envying the wheelchair girl who got all the attention
Shouting "NOT OKAY TOO SOON DON'T DO IT KEVIN" when Fred Savage plays a perp on SVU
Sipping champagne and trying on dresses made by designers of color with Kerry Washington and Michelle Obama
Sirius holding his hand over your mouth so you don't wake his mother's portrait
Smiling and pretending the sexism in your industry doesn't exist because you'd like to get/keep a job
Sort of wishing the baby on the plane would die
Sorting your friends - even the ones you think belong in Hufflepuff
Stalking wedding photos on Facebook, weeping softly.
Staph infections from dirty nail salons
Stealing a male relative's Playboy and feeling brand new feelings
STOP MAKING ME PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING PINTEREST DARLA
Stubbornly refusing to put a tampon in because your period should have ended two days ago
Stumbling on David Wright performing as Judy Garland in the East Village
Subjecting a handsy finance bro to the withering gaze of the Dowager Countess
Surprising your partner with a Vladimir Putin shaped butt plug
Swish and flick.
Taking a giant dump on the 18th green at the Augusta National Golf Club
Taking your vegan girlfriend to shuck some soysters
Talking sexy social justice with Maya Angelou until your caged bird sings
Taylor Swift's sloppy seconds
Telling a street harasser "YOU know what? I will blow you."
Telling Pacey your innermost secrets in a canoe beneath the Capeside stars
Telling the thousandth guy for the thousandth time that all he needs to do is expend one tiny modicum of effort
Telling your date you're only paying 77 cents on the dollar when he asks to split the check
Tenderly dominating Uncle Jesse from behind
Texting your blind date's address to all your friends for safety
Thanking whatever nice man decided women deserve one month per year to learn about our history
That dangerous, terrifying moment when you realize you've memorized your credit card
That floaty feeling your legs get when you shave them after a long time
That guy in your gender studies class who's "just playing devil's advocate"
That moment when the wind flows through your vag hair
That time Cate Blanchett schooled Hollywood about how films starring women do make money
That time the president said "Women deserve equal pay for equal work" and half the room disagreed
The Bechdel Test
The blue liquid from tampon commercials
The chills you still get down your spine remembering the night Barack Hussein Obama became our president
The chub rub
The cold hard truth that no lesbian has ever scissored
The dawning realization that this is your life and this is what you're doing with it
The delicious grin that spreads across your lips right before you cock-punch that guy who just told you to smile
The disconcertingly placed hotel bathroom mirror that allows you to finally know how your face looks when you poop
The effort to control your facial expression when your friend tells you what she named her baby
The fallacious mythological running bra that actually stops the bouncing
The fallopian tube related elevation sickness that forces lady sports reporters to stay on the field and out of the booth
The G-Spot, the Y -Spot, the other spot you made up to confuse your partner
The Golden Girls' never-ending supply of frozen cheesecake
The grim, completely unsurprised facial expressions of black women being kicked off "The Bachelor"
The Gyllenhaals: giving incest a thumbs up this one time
The holiday greeting card heteronormative parade
The look on your boyfriend's face when he said "anal is no big deal" so you pulled out a strap-on
The massively hot lesbian orgy we assume took place after women leaders were forced to march separately in the 1963 March on Washington
The mental jiujitsu required to be a Republican and a woman at the same time
The moving romance of a holiday where men are expected to reinforce structurally sexist gender norms by buying things
The nauseating fact that many NFL cheerleaders make less than $1,000 per year
The new Georgia O'Keefe biopic, "Yeah, that's not a flower"
The new Special K diet: eating the box
The newest weapon in the global war on poverty: Connie Britton's hair
The pleasurable feeling you get pulling a stray hair out of your butt crack while you shower
The race to beat your vibrator's dying batteries to the finish line
The raging hellfire your best friend Veronica Mars will rain down on anyone who betrays you
The realization that there's no polite way to ask if he's inside you
The saddest, loneliest hand job in all the world
The self-esteem murdering combination of constipation and skinny jeans
The shocking revelation that all Super Bowl car commercials are shot in Saudi Arabia, which is why no women are allowed to drive
The simmering rage when some friend of a friend you've never met mansplains you on Facebook
The temptation to jump the curb and mow down random men who tell you how to parallel park
The terror when you glimpse those tiny droplets of pee glistening on the public toilet seat
The torture chamber where Kathryn Bigelow keeps James Cameron
The underwear sniff test
The unknowable shame of having masturbated to The L-Word
The unmitigated horror of having to pee in a club while wearing a jumpsuit
The unparalleled bliss of taking the bra off and letting the girls fly free
The Williams sisters patrolling the night exacting brutal, unrelenting justice
Throwing every person who's ever assumed you were pregnant into a pit filled with hot acid
Thwacking a men's rights activist with Lady Gaga's shoe
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler making out on a pile of Bitch magazmes
Tom Colicchio whipping up a delectable midnight snack while you lean against the counter wearing one of his button downs
Trying to figure out which Weasley twin prefers anal play
Turning the tables on Katie Couric about her genitals mid-interview
Tweeting Cory Booker about that guy walking behind you
Unbelievably hot dreams about your ex because YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS AN ASSHOLE
Underboob sweat like rancid milk
Unfriending that one girl who won't stop vomiting her wedding planning on your Facebook
Unnecessarily gendered teas
Unsolicited information about your boyfriend's sperm count
Urinating on yourself to prevent an assault
Using a Super Bowl bet to get your partner to try that kinky sex thing they've been putting off
Using April Fools as a barometer to figure out which of your friends are actually funny
Velvety rose petals elaborately arranged to spell the words "I'm breaking up with you, asshole"
Waking up in Harry's four poster bed
Walking out of West Elm with another fucking throw pillow
Watching a more qualified woman of color get passed over for some white guy on national television
Watching Bethenny Frankel struggle for life in a churning sea of pre-mixed SkinnyGirl® cocktails
Watching Eli Manning's face light up as you hand him the world's most adorable puppy
Wearing yoga clothes to not do yoga
When "small and scrappy" just doesn't cut it
When a dog smells your crotch and you know exactly why
When a FOX News anchor casually references 'ebonies'
When a guy says "70% of women are crazy" and you want to find a way to cut his face off without reinforcing the stereotype
When a guy's like "ugh, are you on your period?" and you totally are BUT THAT'S NOT WHY YOU'RE ANGRY
When a male colleague tries to take credit for your idea and you shout "NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER"
When RuPaul throws ultimate shade and Alec Baldwin pees himself and faints into a bowl of soup
When someone thoughtfully points out that an article of clothing makes you look bigger, like that is the single worst thing that could ever happen to a person
When the tampon is too low and you feel it with every step.
When there are only two squares of toilet paper left and you know there's about to be a little bit of pee on your hand
When you wear a too-short skirt on public transportation and your vagina is basically touching the bus seat
When your boyfriend competes with Leslie Knope to be the best gift-giver ever and convinces Ladies Against Humanity to post your very own birthday card
When your one night stand finishes with "OMAHA!"
When your partner goes down on you until you turn into Moaning Myrtle
Wondering how best to vent about Obamacare without seeming like you don't support it
Wondering if Ariel chums the water every time she gets her period
Wondering whether your girl crush on Hermione constitutes pedophilia
Yearning to use Adam Scott's fluffy, gravity-defying mane as a full body shower loofah
Your gigantic crush on Jenna Lyons
Zach Braff and k.d. lang trading hair tips
Black
“Baby, what's wrong?”
“Daddy? What are you doing?”
“Whatever Peeta. You'll never understand my struggle with ______.”
50 Shades of ______.
All I want for Pi day is ______ and 3.14 actual pies.
Are you there, God? It's me, ______.
At the next Republican National Convention, Clint Eastwood will use a chair for ______.
Claudette Colvin is most famous for doing what Rosa Parks did 9 months earlier but she's second most famous for ______.
Derek Jetter will retire at the end of next season to spend more time ______.
Detective Stabler's latest rage blackout was brought on by ______.
Do you have something you'd like to share with the class?
Draw me, Jack. Draw me like ______.
Hey, Susie. I know your job is ______ but can you just grab me ______? Thanks.
How do I celebrate beating all my male co-workers in the office March Madness pool?
I couldn't help but wonder: was it Mr. Big, or was it ______?
I find that ______ helps me locate my IUD string.
I know it looks like that guy on the subway is masturbating, but really he's ______.
I thought I'd win her heart by ______, but sadly McKayla was not impressed.
I'm not a smoker at all, just sometimes I need a cigarette to deal with ______.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so… so… ______.
I'm not even thinking about having a baby because I'm extremely busy ______.
If you don't mind my asking, how do lesbians have sex?
In "A Time to Kill,” Matthew McConaughey hated racism more than ______.
In her next romcom, Katherine Heigl plays a woman who falls in love with her boss's ______
Instead of a diamond ring, I want my partner to spend two months' salary on ______.
It's not cheating if I'm ______.
It's not length it's ______.
It's poker night with Beyoncé. You pull ______ out of your bra and slam it on the table.
It's not that I think we should break up, it's just lately I've been thinking a lot about ______.
Letting a white bro think he understands ______ better than you do.
MASH: Mansion Apartment, Shack, ______.
Men are from ___, women are from ___.
Meth is hard Let's go ______!
Obamacare has been criticized for restricting women's access to ______.
On a tough day, what's that one special thing Coach Taylor does to make you feel better?
On Wednesday, we wear ______.
One magical property common to unicorn blood, dragon blood, and Diva Cup blood is ______.
Pardon me while I take up less space so a man can have more room for ______.
She may not be fazed by Richard Sherman, but Erin Andrews is terrified of ______.
Shortly after the repeal of DOMA, Dumbledore was seen ______.
Sofia Coppola's new film focuses on a wealthy young white woman feeling alienated by ______.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, and ______.
Sometimes I want to think my one guy friend who's a legit baller feminist by ______.
That's why her hair is so big. It's full of ______.
The best excuse to not do that exercise groupon is ______.
The Devil Wears ______.
The latest proposal in the Texas legislature is to take away ______ from women.
The newest royal baby bears on alarming resemblance to ______.
The only thing more boring than your new diet is ______.
The Pantone color of the year is inspired by ______.
The secrets to John Boehner's smooth, even tan are a cream made from aborted fetuses and ______.
The thing I want most for Valentine's Day is my set of “Ladies Against Humanity” cards, but the thing I want second-most is ______.
This month in Cosmo; How to give your man ______ at the expense of ______.
This year's top Super Bowl commercial will use ______ to advertise Budweiser beer.
We are never. Ever. Ever. Ever ______.
What do I see in the Mirror of Erised?
What fell into my bra?
What is Olivia Pope's secret to removing red wine stains from white clothes?
What made this the most dramatic rose ceremony ever?
What makes a sponge-worth?
What should I get my therapist for Christmas?
What was Barty Crouch really doing in the Forbidden Forest?
What will Bill Clinton's social cause be as First Man?
What's in the gift baskets Derek Jeter gives to his one-night-stands?
What's my preferred way of celebrating International Women's Day?
What's my weapon of choice in the “War on Women”?
What's one thing straight white guys like even better than feeling oppressed?
What's Seth MacFarlane's problem?
What's the most privileged thing I do on the regs?
What's the one thing that worried Russia's anti-gay police even more than the entire sport of figure skating?
What's the one totally unexpected thing that helps Emeril stay hard?
What's the real reason there's no Wonder Woman movie?
What's the secret ingredient in Proactive®?
What's the weirdest thing that's been in my vagina?
What's my preferred method of contraception?
When I found out PARKS & REC was renewed for a seventh season, I celebrated by ______.
When Queen Elizabeth has to keep smiling, she just thinks of ______.
When they finally convince Chris Harrison to be The Bachelor, I'll win his heart by ______.
Why can't we have nice things?
Why do men on the internet send me pictures of ______?
Why does the Komen Foundation hate Planned Parenthood?
Why exactly was Alains so mad at uncle Joey?
You know nothing, Jon Snow, but you're pretty good at ______.
______: That's a deal-breaker.
______:the Tori Amos song that changed my life
submitted by amdewstow to cahideas [link] [comments]